Adam & Eve

“Where are you headed, Trish?”
 
“What do you care, Frank?”
 
“What do you mean, what do I care?”

“Exactly what I asked, Frank.”
 
“Trish, you’re all dolled up at 10pm, and on the verge of leaving the house. Shouldn’t I wonder?”
 
“Tell me why you need to wonder.”

“Trish, I asked you a simple question. Can you just give me an answer, please?”
 
“Alright, Frank. I’m going for a night out with the girls.”
 
“Thank you. Do have yourself a goodnight.”
 
“Have yourself a goodnight too.”
 
“And if Paula is part of the gang, kindly give her my warm regards.”
 
“If you need to give your regards, warm or cold, to Paula, do it yourself. I’m not your mail runner or messenger!”
 
“Do I sense jealousy?”
 
“A spent force like you cannot make me jealous, Frank!”
 
“To make you jealous was the furthest from my mind. I have not seen Paula in a while. I felt this was an opportunity to get in touch with her through someone, close to both of us. But like always, you must misconstrue every good intent of mine.”
 
“The usual, right? You can never take responsibility for anything. The problem is never yours. You are the best guy in the universe. You can do no wrong. Clap for yourself, Frank.”
 
“Listen, I won’t do anything to stop you from hanging out with your friends because I know that’s what your venom is asking for. You want me to lose my temper and do or say something rash. That way, you can claim I’m always ruining your joy.”
 
“You already know that’s where this is headed. But you just don’t want me to be the first to say it. It’s what you do best. Afterward, you’d blame everyone else, but yourself.”
 
“Trish, my darling wife, please, have fun with the girls. Enjoy your time with them.”
 
“How would you feel if you discovered from your grave, Jerry would not look me up me for months?”
 
“I would find out why before reacting.”
 
“What’s your reason for blacking Paula out in this way?”
 
“I have been terribly busy.”
“You were home all day. Yet, all you did was watch the games on all the major leagues across Europe. Is that what you mean when you say you’ve been terribly busy?”
 
“This is the one day I have for myself. Surely, I deserve some me-time.”
 
“Calling Paula for five or ten minutes would not have deprived you of anything.”
 
“Would you also discount my moods? What if I wasn’t in the mood?”
 
“Were you also in a terrible mood last Saturday? Or the one before, or yet, the one before?”
 
“Okay. Please, say nothing to Paula. Have a goodnight.”
 
“And when I leave, invite your side-chick over. No rush, have as much fun as you wish. I won’t be back until after sundown tomorrow.”
 
“If this is your way of washing away your guilt, it won’t work.”
 
“Guilt?”
 
“I know your nights out are never without men. That’s the reason you want me to stain myself with a woman. But I will not. I’d rather you wallowed in your own guilt.”
 
“Suit yourself.”
 
“As you walk through the door, ask yourself which responsible woman leaves her matrimonial home at this time, only to return at sundown.”
 
“In the same vein, ask yourself which responsible man spends an entire Saturday in front of the TV, ignoring a wife he has barely seen all week.”
 
“Did you attempt to chat with me, and I ignored you?”
 
“Did you make any attempt to chat with me at all?”
 
“Do I ever bother you when you’re on social media?”
 
“Social media has been my only form of recreation in the last couple of years you have viewed me as a mere homemaker.”
 
“What social media is to you, is what the television is to me.”
 
“You’re such a child in so many ways. Painfully, the worst part is your consistent refusal to accept responsibility for anything.”
 
“We have become strangers in our home, right? And you want me to take responsibility for that? No. I won’t give you that pleasure.”
 
“You see what I mean? Just because you fear it might give me some form of pleasure, though it is the correct thing to do, you refrain.”
 
“Am I the one to blame?”
 
“Yes! You have been most dishonest in this relationship.”
 
“And you, my dear wife, are very honest and open.”
 
“I have forever been wonderful to you. Don’t you dare!”
 
“Did I accuse you of anything? I conceded you are very honest and open. Why the hell are you getting worked up?”
 
“You said it with cynicism which I did not fail to notice.”
 
“What?”
 
“Yes! You don’t stay married to an ambivalent man for this long without knowing his style!”
 
“Trish, if I have offended you tonight, I am terribly sorry. Please, go join your friends wherever you have planned to meet.”
 
“As a matter of fact, you have ruined my appetite to socialize tonight. And this is what you do all the time. As soon as you discover I’ve found my route to happiness, you emerge from nowhere to create gullies.”
 
“You accused me of not taking responsibility for anything. I have accepted responsibility for this one. Please, forgive me. Have fun with your friends. How would it look if someone asked me the whereabouts of my wife and I could not offer an answer? That was why I wanted to know where you were headed. I have never stopped you from doing anything or going anywhere.”
 
“I concede you give me a free hand to do anything or go anywhere. Unfortunately, you have a diabolical way of coming through the backdoor to make it unpalatable for me. If you’re not making snide remarks to put me down as a person, you’re creating room for other forms of emotional torture. At the end of it all, my plans turn sour and useless.”

“How can I fix this now, Trish? Tell me, and I’ll do anything.”
 
“Even if this could be fixed, I wouldn’t want it to be by you.”
 
“This is my problem with you. Tomorrow, you will tell whoever cares to listen, everything bad about me. But you will never tell them how terribly you frustrate my efforts at making things right even when I didn’t hurt you intentionally.”
 
“Same old, same old. You can’t help yourself. You will always backtrack to place the problem at the doorstep of another.”
 
“In truth, you are overly sensitive because of your insecurities. So, you’re quick to pick holes where none exist, and savour the sour taste of cynicism which cooks regularly in your mouth. Then, when I say or do anything, you relate it to whatever you’re brewing and draw your conclusion.”
 
Doorbell chimes
 
“There’s someone at the door.”
 
“Let them stay there. We’re having a family conversation here.”
 
“Must be your side-chick. Otherwise, when did a conversation with your wife trump other matters?”
 
“There you go again. No one can succeed with you. Had I made a move for the door you would have accused me of denying you attention?” You always find a reason from hell to fault any move I make.”
 
“I wasn’t like that before we got married. It’s what you turned me into.”
 
“All my classmates and colleagues still have a good head of natural hair. I am the only one who’s both grey and bald.”
 
“Yes, while they reserve their nutrients for their wives, you scatter yours like a nomad. Diving beneath the sheets with multiple partners made no one look younger.”
 
“It’s no fault of mine I have a heart of gold. I didn’t create myself.”
 
“I haven’t forgotten that nothing is ever your fault. In the meantime, I need to see if whoever pressed the doorbell is still there.”
 
Trish returns as there is no one at the door.
 

“Who was at the door?”
 
“It was definitely your side-chick. She probably heard us arguing, got the message, and scampered away like a frightened rabbit.”
 
“Another of your wild lies, right?”
 
“I should have gone to the door immediately. Asking me to let the person wait was your gimmick… to let the person know the coast was unclear. I recall you raised your voice too, to pass on the message.”
 
“You are a horrible liar!”
 
Thank your stars, both of you. She won’t be so lucky next time. When you waste your energy on tramps, why won’t you look haggard?”
 
“As if you don’t exhaust your energy on miscreants, too. You cry all the time claiming their distressful situations kill your spirit. You get irritable, downcast, and downright abusive. Worst of all, you neglect your marital responsibilities. When was the last time we kissed?”
 
“I was home the whole of today while you feasted on football. Did you try to kiss me, and I refused?”
 
“Since you’re always refusing my advances, why don’t you ever put your front foot forward by making the first move?”
 
“Did Paula make the first move?”
 
“What’re you talking about?”
 
“Don’t go denying. I know everything.”
 
“You know nothing. Stop creating junk where there’s none.”

“I stopped kissing you after I confirmed you suck her treasure grove.”
 
“That is so, not true! How do you cook up such evil lies, Trish?”
 
“You blindside me with the impression that you’re too busy to create time for her. Then, when I’m not looking, you tumble with her in bed.”
 
“What the…!”
 
“She is not the only one. I also know the patients you rumble with beneath the sheets.”
 
“You are such a wicked liar! I’ve been good and true to you.”
 
“If you deny this again, I shall take you down, ruthlessly.”
 
“I know not what you speak about, woman! Now, take me down!”
 
“Since you have dared me, I shall do it. I will not divorce you. But I will make sure the board strips you of your right to practice, one. Two, you will go to jail. Three, while you rot there, I shall take turns with hunks all around the world and send you pictures.”
 
“I always knew you were evil.”
 
“Whatever evil you saw in me was child’s play. This is the real deal.”
 
“If I get delisted, you’ll also get delisted. If I go to jail, that will also be your fate. You’re not the only one who’s been engaged in spying.”
 
“Even though I know you’re bluffing, I’m still tempted to ask you to reveal your findings. I need a good laugh, tonight.”
 
“When you returned from that weeklong seminar in Barcelona, do you recall that I did your laundry? Some stains I found on your clothing confirmed, modestly, that you had been with at least one man. What do you have to say about that?”
 
“You are such a pathetic specie of a human. For an educated person, you are a letdown. So, you mean, you drew such a wild conclusion on the strength of stains on my clothing? Stains that could have come from coffee or any other beverage? Now, if you were that suspicious, why didn’t you subject the stains to some further testing?”
 
“Of course, I did. And at least, one of them was confirmed as semen. I almost collapsed in shame. I guess, you were doing it with them in back alleys and elevators. Disgusting!”

“I’m sorry for all your patients. No wonder your clinic always has the poorest articles on fertility. Your findings only come from your warped mind.”
 
“Were you or were you not with a man in Barcelona?”
 
“I swear upon my honour, I was not with any man in Barcelona or anywhere else. And I have never been with any other man besides you. May God forgive me for swearing, but may He strike you dead for making me swear because of your mistrust.”
 
“Don’t even bother. God has answered your prayer already. Right from the moment you agreed to marry me. Your chastising is worse than thunder. Your infidelity drove me to explore other women.”
 
“The fault can never be yours. Someone else must get dragged into the mud to take the blame. My advice to today’s young women; never, ever marry a man who cannot accept responsibility for anything. Alright, let’s even say I was with a man in Barcelona. Wasn’t that late last year? You have been rocking jiu-jitsu in the nude with three of your patients for at least two years now. I know them, but Heaven knows how many I do not know. The excuse you have provided should come from me, but I’m better than that.”
 
“So, do you concede that you have also been unfaithful?”

“Never! But even if I have been unfaithful, you cannot prove anything. However, in your case, I have video clips, photos, text messages and call histories. You are done for, Frank! I am going to squeeze you until you are all dry and wrinkled like a raisin. Then, I’ll come gloating.”
 
“What will you gain? After all, every evil thing I have done has been because of you. The first time I ever stole in my life was to get you an engagement ring. The second time I stole was to finance our wedding. Since then, it’s been one evil thing or another to please you. But you never appreciate me. More than anything else, that drove me astray.”
 
“This man, you are incorrigible. First off, I have never been a fan of rings. Bracelets, yes. But rings, no. I only don my wedding band to stave off lecherous men like you. Next off, I never wanted or asked for an engagement ring. All I ever needed was some assurance that whatever you decided about us was from the depths of your heart. I drummed it in your ears then that I had neither use for rings nor a highbrow wedding. I was good to go with only a priest and a witness.”
 
“But how could I get married with only a priest and a witness?”
 
“So, why don’t you admit you were only feeding your vanity, instead of lying that I made you steal to buy rings and fund our wedding?”
 
“Yet, you neither declined your exotic rings nor our lavish wedding!”

“How was I supposed to know you stole to finance both?”
 
“What was I worth at the time? If I suddenly became the owner of a private jet today, won’t you ask questions?”
 
“Come on. I inquired, and you told me it was the proceeds of the sale of some rare relics bequeathed to you by your grandparents.”
 
“And you believed?”
 
“How could I have known you were lying? The expensive rings and flamboyant wedding were your idea. Heaven will bear me witness, I wanted something simple. If I remember clearly too, it almost caused a fight between us because I advised that we should have deployed the funds to starting us off in life, instead.”
 
“Yet, you had five bridesmaids and a chief?”
 
“That was your idea, not mine! I even had an awfully hard time choosing the six, which was one reason I was uninterested initially.”
 
“Woman, you are evil. You are the kind of person who cries to a friend for help from starvation. Out of the goodness of their heart, they steal to stave off your hunger. When your situation becomes better, you disown them, claiming you never asked them to steal. Someone who only stole to keep you alive, you will disown just to save your selfish soul. You might save your head, but your soul, forever destroyed!”
 
“Now, let’s say the anecdote you just provided is correct. Was it the reason you became a perpetual philanderer… to the point of taking the widow of your best friend? Or your pregnant patients who showed up for antenatal? Or the ones with fertility issues? How dirty can you be?”
 
“When we became strangers in our own home, it was extremely difficult to concentrate. Several times, I veered off the road for no apparent reason. One day, I considered myself lucky to be alive. Instead of wallowing in the rubbish you were offering, I began to enjoy myself from any direction it came.”
 
“Once again, it was my fault. A standing ovation for you, Frank. Why did you read medicine? A waste of time, effort, and resources. You should have gone into politics. What a colossal waste!”
 
“I want to know the men you cheated on me with.”
 
“I didn’t wait for you to tell me the women you were cheating with, did I? Instead, I carried out my own investigation. You do the same. Information does not come cheap, you know.”
 
“Or is it because you went too low? I have it on good authority that the janitor in your office is a beneficiary of the spoils.”
 
“That bait will not cut it, sorry.”
 
“I knew it was true. But somehow, I chose to believe you had more taste. I was wrong. Unfortunately!”
 
“Try again. Here is my phone. Scroll down and you will see exchanges with Bragg, the flamboyant minister. The same one every woman is dying to be with. I told him off. Look for the conversations with Mon-Tee, the rap sensation. I told him off too. Both were my patients. There I was, keeping myself pure while you frolicked with everyone in skirt.”
 
“Fairy tales for the kids at Halloween. You only rejected the big goons because it would have been too easy to get caught. Instead, you chose the small fries. The ones you can frighten to stay discrete. I shall also provide the evidence in due course. You’re not the only one gifted in spying.”
 
“For daring to accuse me falsely, you have worsened your case. Do you remember the other day something would not stop beeping in the laptop in your practice room? You thought it was a virus and called your techies. Wrong! It was from a bug I planted. Even your techies could not detect it. All they managed to do was stop the beeping. The information from that laptop alone is enough to crush you. But I have more and will use all of it against you. With glee, I shall watch you wilt and shrivel like a veggie in the desert.”
 
“You are bluffing, Trish. Imagine someone who cannot download a file talking about planting a bug. The only other thing you can do on a computer besides creating documents on word is playing on social media.”
 
“You do you, and I’ll do me. I have told you my plan already. No divorce. But I shall make you crawl on your knees, toss you in jail, and torture your poor heart until your soul rests.”
 
“Trish, let us agree you’re not bluffing. I say, do your worst.”
 
“Frank, you’re on your way down. This will be your personal experience of the adage, ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’.”
 
“I will steamroll you in this game any day, Trish. Tomorrow, you will find that out for yourself, once again. For the last time, Trish, I am boasting; do your utmost worst!”
 
 

************************************************

“Father, I’m exhausted. I just want to end it all.”
 
“My daughter… I gave you a bunch of Bible passages and prayers to read and recite, respectively. However, I have a good feeling you haven’t been doing any of that. I spent the last five minutes praying, but you were crying the entire time. You were not even listening.”
 
“I feel too crushed by guilt to hold on to the Bible, Father. I equally can’t bring myself to call His holy name.” 
 
“In that case, read with your mind from your phone or computer. It was for good reason I offered them to you. Indeed, I noticed you were broken in body, mind, and spirit. So, I thought the first thing would be to revive your strength. That way, you’d be fit for the task ahead.”
 
“Father, I just feel there won’t be any difference.”
 
“You will never know if you don’t give it a try, my daughter.”
 
“I still see his eyes as he dared me to do my worst. Those were his last words to me. Like someone jeering and chuckling over a victory. I always believed the dead had no victory. Unfortunately, I feel so crushed by guilt that I cannot even hold on to my core beliefs anymore.”
 
“The devil is playing mind games with you and you’re enabling him. Please, desist. Going forward, arm yourself with the prayers and passages I gave you. I will provide even more. Let them be on your lips all the time. Have faith, for that’s the power we have over evil. Anytime you feel it ebb, say a quick prayer, and recite some verses for strength. This is a battle, though, not against flesh. So, we must empower ourselves with the word and our faith. It’s all we’ve got.”
 
“I don’t feel strong enough to fight this battle, Father. I just want to…”
 
“My daughter, please do not speak like the heathen. You make it appear like all the work I have put in is a hoax. That makes me sad. It makes me sad for me, and sad for you too.”
 
“I’m sorry, Father. I am the problem, not you. I recognize that.”
 
“No, you’re not the problem, my daughter. It’s the devil. We need to use more precise means now to decapitate him.”
 
“Father, I don’t know anymore. I have lost hope completely.”
 
“Don’t speak like that, my daughter. What if we moved you temporarily into a private room in our Sisters’ Lodge? There, spirit-filled women who will support you emotionally with prayers, teachings, and their physical presence would surround you.”
 
“I don’t know anymore, Father…”
 
“I believe it will be worth your while. You can stay for any length of time. As soon as you feel strong enough to face the world again, you may return home.”
 
“Father, I…”

“It is settled. Let us do as I have said. I shall instruct someone to take you there as soon as our session is done. Tomorrow morning, we can take you home to retrieve some basic things you need.”
 
“Thank you, Father.”
 
“God bless you, my child. From this minute, consider yourself a new being in Christ. Let us begin afresh and see where this alternative approach takes us. So, talk again about the life you had with Francis.”
 
“Father, you have to tell me what specifically you need to know.”
 
“Right. At what point in your relationship did you begin to feel like strangers to each other?”
 
“I guess it happened faster than we both realized or cared to acknowledge. He was doing some studies on the clitoris and was hell bent on coming up with something novel. Something no one had ever thought of… something no one had ever given the clit any credit for. It took about everything out of him when his findings could not produce anything extraordinary. With that failure, he got more and more distant. Everything appeared to go downhill from that point.”
 
“Is there a chance he would have turned out differently if his studies had been successful?”

“Yes, he definitely would. But again, it might have turned out to be a negative difference too.”
 
“Kindly expatiate on that, if you please.”
 
“Success could equally have gone into his head to the point of playing God.”
 
“So, why do you think he took it out on you?”
 
“From the beginning, I mentioned to him he would require much more equipment than he thought about deploying. More volunteers too than the number he proposed. By the time he realized I was right, it was perhaps too late to turn back the hand of the clock. There was also no guarantee he could come up with the funds needed for a fresh start. So, he took his chances with all he had already set in motion. When his results produced nothing fascinating, he said the fact I mentioned it just before he started, had created the bad luck.”
 
“Coming from a medical scientist, did you not find it strange?”
 
“It was no longer strange. I adapted to his toxicity quickly. He would rather die than accept responsibility for anything.”
 
“For how long were you married?”
 
“Seven.”
 
“Good. Did the absence of kids create some friction?”
 
“Not at all. In our first two years, we had a wonderful time and didn’t want any distraction. During that period, and the next two years, we also worked very hard, vowing to produce something great. If we succeeded, we would not be under any financial pressure when we started a family. If there were no pressure, it would be easier to tend to our kids, giving them the desired love and attention, without question.”
 
“So, it was a collective decision not to have kids yet.”
 
“Certainly, Father. Towards the end of our fifth year, his studies fell flat. I achieved way more success with mine, and in a shorter timeframe too. My studies were on cognitive dissonance, and successfully eradicated the myths ascribed. Consequently, I was inundated with requests to speak at conferences and seminars all over the world. Initially, he would accompany me. But as time went on, and the result of his studies gave him no joy, he lost all motivation and stopped.”
 
“Are you sure he did not stop because he got busy trying to revive his studies?”

“Definitely not, Father. He couldn’t come to terms with my success in the face of his failure.”
 
“It might have also been because he was too heartbroken by the failure of his study.”
 
“For us, research is a way of life. We know what it entails and prepare for it. Win some, lose some. It’s always good too to seek a sponsor or collaborating partner. That way, your losses would not hit too hard. Day after day, one research somewhere hits a dead end. It’s nothing new to us. We just put our hats back on, and plan for the next one. There are people who live on research. In Frank’s case, his O & G practice was fully functional, and continued to thrive. So, that could not have been the reason.
 
“Did he request your help to finance the re-adjusted study when you had the means?”
 
“I offered to do so, but he declined vehemently. That more than anything else confirmed to me, his inability to handle my success.”
 
“Perhaps, not. Is it not possible he was merely being thoughtful? I mean, what if he thought his studies might fail again? It could also have been he did not want it to look like he frittered away your hard-earned money just in case the research fell through again?”

“The money I earned was good. So good that what he sought was a mere fraction of what I got in the first year. I earned way more in the subsequent years, and we both knew it was going to turn out that way. Yet, he refused my help and sought it from other sources. Either he was too proud to accept my offer, or he begrudged me for his failure, or could not handle my success, or all three.”
 
“What if it were none of these?”
 
“Father, are you for me or against me?”
 
“My child, I’m just trying to review everything that has happened, through all available prisms. I am as neutral as possible.”
 
“Frank may have developed a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder…”
 
“I’m sorry, my daughter. Can you say that again, please?”
 
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder. During our sixth year, he suddenly became different. He never would accept responsibility for anything. As a psychiatrist, I could confirm it because he wasn’t like that before and I know the condition well enough. I ought to have done the needful as soon as I discovered it. But I didn’t. Instead, I mocked him about it at every given opportunity.”

“That was a mistake. But we should not misconstrue it for the nail that sealed the coffin. What remedy would you have pursued?”
 
“Usually, psychotherapy is the mode of treatment, and its success rate is impressive.”
 
“But my daughter, I remember you mentioned you suggested counseling at some point which he declined. What is the guarantee he would have accepted another suggestion of that nature?”
 
“At least, it would have freed my conscience of the thought that I did not try hard enough to save him when he was dipping.”
 
“Do you believe if he had gone to counseling when you suggested it, the consultant would have discovered the disorder?”
 
“Absolutely. It was just beginning to manifest, and therefore, the perfect time to nip it.”
 
“In that case, why are you still beating yourself?”
 
“That night, I threw it in his face so many times that for the first time in eighteen months, he accepted responsibility for something. Not only that, but he also apologized to me. Unfortunately, I threw both at his face, believing he was merely being sarcastic.”
 
“Didn’t you also say he had a history of deploying sarcasm at will?”
 
“Yes, I did. It all contributed to why I wrongly misread him that night. But by my training, I should have done better. You know, he even boasted that he would beat me in my game, and I’d find that out the next day. It’s possible he had already made up his mind, but I was too self-absorbed to see it.”
 
“My worry is that despite all you’ve just said, you’ve taken a turn that frightens me. I think it might be the result of the time you spent in police detention. Whenever a life is lost, their first instinct is to pin it on someone – just anyone. Unfortunately, you fell in their arms and it appears some measure of brainwashing took place.”
 
“The Police detained me because they found it unreasonable that I discovered Frank’s corpse in the evening. To them, it was absurd considering we lived alone.”
 
“Did they accuse you of any perceived foul play?”
 
“No, it was clear he had committed suicide.”

“Was he guilty of the things you accused him of?”
 
“Yes, he was. But I was bluffing when I said I had video recordings. Even the incident where his laptop developed an uncontrolled beeping sound had nothing to do with me. I did not bug his laptop like I made him believe.”
 
“That means, you had no plan to carry out your threat.”
 
“No, not at all. But had I enough ammunition, I definitely would.”
 
“How did you come about the things you accused him of?”
 
“My friend, Paula, felt guilty one day, and confessed to me. Paula and I were great friends just like our late husbands. She became much closer to us after the demise of her husband. In my innocence, I believed Frank was just being noble to her. Until she confessed to me. A confession which came only because she was angry that Frank was sharing her with one of his patients. She also gave me a short list of those he had used and dumped along the way. If she felt the way she did, you can imagine how I felt.”
 
“Would you buy the thought that Paula might have seduced him?”
 
“No, she didn’t. Before Paula, he had been doing it with his patients. I had suspected for some time but had no proof. A friend introduced me to a private investigator. Unfortunately, he hit on me. So, I closed the chapter.”
 
“Could it have begun during the period you were traveling around the world on account of the success of your studies?”
 
“Yes, Father. I was in the limelight and he felt like a shadow. Out of nowhere, he said he would no longer travel with me. I thought he wanted to devote more time to his practice and lab.”
 
“Would you have reduced your travel if you knew it would lead to his philandering?”
 
“It wasn’t my absence that turned him into a philanderer. I still believe he couldn’t handle my success. He just turned into a sadist, saying and doing things he knew would hurt me.”
 
“If you know all these things, why are you inflicting harm on yourself?”
 
“How so, Father?”
 
“You are indulging in self-blame. The next port will be depression. If we are not careful, you could end up like Frank. Is that what you want?”
 
“If I hadn’t threatened him with video clips that were non-existent, he may not have taken his life.”
 
“Self-blame is dangerous, my daughter. The devil has already taken one. We need not let him have another.”
 
“I also asked God to strike him dead with lightning.”
 
“Was there a lightning storm between when you spoke and when he died?”
 
“No, Father.
 
“God doesn’t work that way, in any case. Perhaps you’re hurt that after inflicting so much harm on you, he got off too easily. You wanted to avenge his sadism like you boasted to him. His suicide feels like he cheated you till death did him part. He gave you no chance to strike back.”
 
“I hate to admit it, Father, but more than anything else, that is what riles me. The torment from it makes me feel like I am choking.”

“No, you won’t choke. I must admit that your honesty has made our sessions very productive. Straight from the heart, you are sincere. I see why you have been so successful in life.”
 
“Thank you, Father. But my sincerity has often left me bruised, shattered, and on the receiving end.”
 
That is the human in you talking. And I understand. However, don’t change the way you are. Your blessings will always come even if you are not often able to count them.”
 
Silence.
 
“Always remember, vengeance belongs to the Lord, not us. Perhaps, we can put this new revelation to good use.
 
“You tell me, Father.”
 
“Why don’t you use this experience to carry out a new study? Link failure to sadism, narcissist personality disorder, and suicide. Then, on to self-blame in a third party, and ultimately, restitution. You could extend self-blame to depression before restitution. You could also do it in the form of a story, if you find the pressure of an academic study too intense.”

“That’s one huge ball of a confounding fire, Father. It will take some years to phrase the study appropriately. For starters, gathering the requisite material will be as cumbersome as it will be herculean. To arrive at findings that will successfully link them will be a hit or miss.”
 
“I know. You said earlier that Research is usually a hit or miss. That is the sort of study you need now. Something to occupy your mind completely. Hopefully, at the end, it will lead you to a much clearer picture. If the study crystalizes, a work of fiction from it may turn out great.”
 
Silence.
 
“Think about it. This might go on to resolve a global puzzle. Some simple solution may be found from such a difficult and unduly complicated problem. But I know you will succeed because you have a deep passion for what you do, and you’re brilliant at it.”
 
Silence.
 
“And we have a good chance of arriving at findings that will help to guide many who are suffering for no fault of theirs. In their anguish, it has become normal to accept responsibility for another person’s transgressions - in the erroneous belief they will find closure in due course.”

“I will give it a shot, Father.”
 
“You have nothing to lose, my daughter, but everything to gain.”
 
“I am resolute now, Father. I will bury myself in it.”
 
“This is the first time I have seen you smile.”
 
“Awwww… Father!”
 
“And the smile just got broader. What sparkling white teeth you have!”
 
“Thank you, Father. Don’t say it, I know I’m blushing.”
 
“I’m delighted to see the glow in your eyes, my daughter. Stay with us for as long as you desire. Our library is at your disposal. We also have a small lab adjacent to the library. It’s decent too. It’s at your disposal too. Let us meet again same time next week. However, if you feel any need to see me before then, you know where to find me.”
 
Laughter
 
“Will do nicely, Father. Thank you very much.”
 
“Glory be to God, my daughter. I do all things as He guides me.”


The End.