Chaos meets destruction

when I first met you I already knew there was something about you drawing me in I was captivated totally spun you made me want you and then I craved you a thirst I could not quench my hunger Randy starving for just one taste anything just for you and your tranquilizing effect for now I spend all time down to my very last dime like a tranquilizer I am under a spell realizing I'm addicted it's no longer fun down on my knees dangling from your strings I'm a puppet in all control is gone following your orders down to a t no choice at all strict you have to come lying and scheming a beast I don't know fiend out I have become a birth of a monster methen madness in chaos is to come this attraction is where chaos meets destruction this was never the plan you made me feel better you made me feel whole deeper and deeper I Fall in your arms I fade no longer lonely no longer feel pain a sick comfort I feed myself more while on my way to a slow suicide numb and spun I am seeing our Fate cold so cold and hollow death is coming it's knocking at my door there's no use in running it will soon catch up to me wanting my soul no sleep for days I must run food no way I always say I'll eat later yet later never comes then soon I start to smell shower before my clothes need a washing machine the end is what's in store for me each new day is a living nightmare then one day awakened a light something inside was not wanting to die finally wanting to put the insanity to the rest but still lingering is misery the familiar friend so I take a deep breath and realizing this beast must die seeing beauty in my chaos and using the destruction as my lessons Perfectly imperfect is what I am the scars I have I no longer hide for they are what made me and they're no longer just for me going to share with the world a mess that is me a true masterpiece sum will relate others will be entertained so that being said my story is complete my struggles are real this could not be made made up now for this change in my life somewhere some are probably wondering am I living right well I can say is I'm not what I once was so and it was this some days I and spun and some days I fight to survive something that brought me comfort brought me so much pain you never I never seen it coming blinded from the start so take it from me just because the grass looks greener doesn't mean it's better I'd rather have dead grass and then bright and pretty because sometimes the ugliest things are the best teachers and the best listeners but they say the broken is the is the ones God's chosen God doesn't want perfect God one of the broken the addicted the ugly the imperfect

So until I write again I'm perfectly imperfect damaged and always but just like a Picasso painting it's worth it I'm worth a thousand words my writings our teachers my own personal experience hopefully they help others cuz I should help me to share with the world off to be spun