Daphne and Apollo

"Well, hello there!"
 
My shoulders stiffened. I didn't need to turn around to know who was behind me.
 
You know how it is when you haven’t seen someone for ages, and then suddenly, everywhere you go, there they are! Well, that’s how it had been with Apollo. I’d not seen him for thousands of years and then, every day for a decade I came across him – or rather, he came across me.
 
"Apollo, I don't mean to be rude, but this is a girls' get-together."
 
"Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here." Apollo pulled up a chair and sat down. He held up his lyre. "I'll even provide the music."
 
"Thanks, but no. We wanted to chat about - girls' stuff. No men and definitely no music."
 
"Whatever you say, Daph." Apollo got to his feet again and winked. "See you later."
 
The problem with Apollo - with all the gods for that matter - is that they won't take no for an answer. It's not that he's bad company, far from it, but someone once told him that he was a talented musician and now you can't have Apollo without his lyre.
 
"There's got to be something we can do." Cleone was always the most optimistic amongst us. "Couldn't we hide it?"
 
Ismene grimaced. "I tried that. I've left it inside clouds, under mountains, at the bottom of the ocean... It takes him about four hours to locate it and then he’s playing it again."
 
"We could break it." Cleone wasn't giving up.
 
"I tried that too. I pulled out the strings, got wild boar to trample it - I even had a chat with the Norse gods and got Thor to hit it with his hammer. Take it from me - that lyre is indestructible."
 
I have to say, I was impressed. I'd tried hiding it myself, but I would never have thought of involving our Norse cousins. Ismene was smart!
 
I was going to have to come up with some sort of plan though, because it was starting to get annoying. The other girls were sick of him, but it was me he was following.
 
“Daphne! Long time no see!” This was 6 hours after I last saw him.
 
“Daphne! Fancy meeting you here!” This was outside my own home.
 
“Daphne, please don’t ignore me… Daphne, I love you! … Daphne… Daphne…”
 
But the day I knew I really couldn’t take any more was the day I heard: “Daphne, I’ve written a song for you…”
 
I ran! I wasn’t sure where I was running to, I just knew I couldn’t take another note without going crazy.
 
I was fast, but so was he and even with my head start he was gaining one me. And then… Salvation! There, up ahead of me was my father. He was a doddery old fool, didn’t even remember my name half the time, but surely he’d remember that I was one of his daughters and rescue me…. Any minute now… Any minute… nope! He wasn’t even looking.
In desperation I called out, “Father, save me! I beseech thee!”
 
And then bam! My feet took root and my arms stretched upwards.
 
“Oops!” My father’s voice floated up to me. “I just realised you said, ‘Save me, I beseech thee.’ I thought you said, ‘Make me a beech tree.’ Oh well, too late now. I hope nobody tells your mother what I’ve done.”
 
I shook my leaves in disgust. I told you he was a doddery old fool. Even if I had wanted to be a beech tree, I’d be disappointed – he actually turned me into a laurel.
 
And it hasn’t even worked. Apollo leans against my trunk playing his wretched lyre and singing love songs. If only I had eyes, I would weep.