I hate you, I miss you

I play the voicemail once again, and your soft, breathy voice starts up, making me shiver, “Vexenna. I hope I said that right,” A smile has plastered itself on my face. It’s been three years, yet I can’t seem to stop listening to your voice. Your irreplaceable voice. It might be weird to constantly listen to somebody who you barely even know, but despite that, I fell in love with you, Alan. I fell in love with the guy that didn’t show me his face. I fell in love with the guy who said he loved me right before he left. The guy who had turned me into a bisexual. The guy who made me fall out of love with my girlfriend.  Yet, I still wish you were here. Sometimes, I even search up your name and look at accounts who might be you, and I desperately try to think you actually fell in love with me, and that you had to leave because you had a girlfriend, or you were forced to delete me. Not because you might’ve been just joking around, as a dare. I try to ignore that one thought that eats me inside and out, but it never seems to leave my mind, just like how you never leave my mind.
(dont mind this)
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