Love is Enough

The phone rang, I looked over to the table and saw the screen lit up.
Around me, the room spun, perhaps it could be her. I was surrounded by a mist as I forced myself onto my feet and staggered across the room grabbing the phone.
I began frantically tapping at the small green icon on the screen. It must be her, who else would be calling me at this time? I didn't even think to check the caller identity, such was my urgency. Finally, after many attempts, the screen changed indicating I had successfully accepted the call.
“Lisa?”
“Hello sir, thank you for accepting my call.”
“Lisa?” I repeated, “Is that you?” It wasn't Lisa, but an unfamiliar man's voice. I looked at the phone screen and read the words – Suspected Scam.
With hindsight – and a more sober disposition – I should have hung up, but for some reason I allowed this absurd conversation to commence.
“Sir, I'm phoning because we've been informed that you may have recently experienced a break up, and we would like to offer you a deal on a new relationship.”
“Who is this? Did Lisa tell you to call me?”
“Sir, would you be interested in trying our new three month trial? We have an impressive range of clients far beyond that of any of our competitors.”
“Do you know Lisa?” I asked, I was certain I had misheard what was being said. It sounded like a typical salesman, only he didn't seem to be selling insurance or a new phone contract. The only logical explanation was a male friend of Lisa's who had agreed to act as an intermediary.
“I can check our database for a Lisa sir, however, wouldn't you like to sample something a little more exotic? We have a wide range of options, and using our highly sophisticated AI generated algorithm we can find the most suitable match for you.”
I finally started to understand that the person on the other end of the phone was nothing more than a  cold caller, a salesman apparently attempting to sign me up to a dating app. How he was aware of my recent break up with Lisa was a mystery, astral it had been less than 24 hours since we last spoke and Lisa had informed that she wished to end our relationship.
“Thank you, but in not interested. I don't want another match, I want Lisa.” I answered clearly, but I should have expected that salesman like this don't give in at the first sign of resistance.
“I understand what you’re saying Sir, we do hear this a lot, but if you'll just hold the line I will explain why our matches are the best you'll find online or IRL.”
“IRL?”
“In real life Sir. I personally guarantee, our matchmaking saves you from hours of wasted time swiping through dating apps or the humiliating rejections when trying to introduce yourself in a roomful of strangers.” The voice on the end of the phone spoke with no hint of amusement or irony, like he was reading from a script with no emotional understanding of his own material.”
“What makes you think I've suffered many rejections?” I asked, a little offended by the insinuation.
In a surprisingly neutral tone, he replied, “That's what we do sir. We know you, that's how we can guarantee you the best possible romantic experience.”
“But how do you know that much about me? We've never met before. Don't I need to answer s questionnaire or fill out a personal profile?”
“That won't be necessary Sir, we have all the data we require already.”
“How? From where?” I asked with a mixture of frustration and panic.
“We've been reviewing your Internet activity and it is quite clear that your approach to speaking with women is woefully inadequate – and this is particularly the case with women you find attractive. Therefore we surmise it highly likely that you would have elegies a high number of rejections whilst attempting to establish new contracts. I must add, some of our analysts have found some of your dialogue quite hilarious.” He paused as if for comic effect, “If you don't mind me saying.”
“Women I find attractive? What women do you think I find attractive?”
“Generally white skin colour, brown haired, with hazel / brown eyes and early to mid twenties. Physically you appear to favour medium to large build, though size of specific features such as chest, waist and posterior do not seem to have a significant impact on preference. We have also noted that you favour UK based women though other English speaking nationalities seem acceptable - except Scottish. We’re not quite sure of the rationale of this, but the introduction of a Scottish accent appears to result in a 75% disapproval rating. I can guarantee that we will be sure not to connect you with any Scottish partners.”
“How do you know all this?” I asked defiantly, not believing what I had heard.
With no sign of hesitation the caller responded to my query as naturally as being asked the time. “It’s a very simple process Sir, we review social media posts and interactions you have made over the past 12 months and cross reference those with your general Internet activity. Sites you've visited, pages you've viewed and videos or images you may have selected – some on multiple occasions – including length of time spent viewing any particular content. We also measure the movement of the mouse, looking for biomedical indicators that might suggest either arousal or nonchalance.”
I felt a wave of anger sweep through my body. I wasn't sure whether I was more offended by the level of unauthorised intrusion that had clearly been undertaken in order to gather such information or the fact that I had been so easily analysed based on a few clicks of a mouse. “And is this even legal?” I finally asked.
“Of course not sir, it is a gross abuse of your privacy. But if we’re honest, the only difference between us and other multinational companies is that we're willingly informing you of our ethical indiscretions, whereas the supermarket chains, banks, casinos and online shopping outlets don't let you in on half the amount of private information they collect or how they use it.”
“So you’re saying you have the moral high ground? You're cold calling, selling women of all ages and nationalities to anyone willing to answer the phone, using stolen, private data and you think that's acceptable because you're not as bad as the others?”
“That's not true Sir, the women aren't for sale, we merely provide a facility with which you can be granted a fuss free introduction. The rest is up to you, but we can guarantee you won't be disappointed with the recommendation.”
“Guarantee? How can you guarantee anything?”
“Because we understand the nature of attraction, what draws us to a particular individual and conversely how to identify early stages of disapproval. We appreciate the intricacies of primal passions and the subtle nuances that can bring about strong emotional responses such as happiness and desire.”
“But what about love? Are you saying you can find me love? All based on my Internet activities?”
“Oh no. Not love. We guarantee something far better than love.”
“Better than love?”
“Yes Sir. We are offering you an all inclusive sexual and spiritual connection, a perfect recipient for your emotional and physical output. Love is plagued with pain and sadness. It is simply a term used to cover up the discrepancies within an ill conceived partnership, we offer something far more suitable. ”
“But what about all the good parts about love? The uncontrollable happiness, the feeling of falling in love and being loved.”
“But with all that positivity, love is always accompanied by disappointment and sadness. We guarantee you a lifetime of unmitigated happiness. You can forget Lisa; it is time to move on to something better, like water under the bridge as you may say. We estimate that for approximately 25% of your relationship you displayed genuine negative emotions towards your partner and of those, 20% were regarded by our team as being highly destructive to your own well being as well as the relationship.”
“And what about the other 75%?”
“It is true there are indications of some exceptional levels of happiness and pleasure, possibly 5-10% which are far higher than we would expect to find in a healthy relationship. But we predict a 60% likelihood of this reducing over time, resulting in a far lower average approval level.”
“And that's love to you? Just a series of numbers and statistics?”
“I'm afraid so sir, that's love and life. All predictable and easily analysed, which is why we've taken the burden away from you, allowing you to enjoy the benefits of our labour.”
There was a brief pause, not long enough for me to speak, but enough for me to consider what was being proposed.
The caller continued, “Sir, we can say with 99.9% certainty that you will not experience any such feelings of despair or anguish throughout your relationship with our recommended client. You will have everything you need; excitement, passion, desire and fulfilment, the full package.”
“But what about love?”
“Like I said, we have developed the algorithm to such an extent that you won't have any need for love and all the negative emotions that are attributed to it.”
“But what if I want all that? The highs and the lows, the good and the bad? What if I want it all?”
“Sir, we are offering you something more. Something better than love, we are offering you perfection – tailor fitted to suit all your needs.”
“Only it isn't is it?” I thought about how I had been sat in my room, feeling alone and helpless hoping Lisa would call. It was the most excruciating sensation I had ever felt, I would have given anything to take away that pain. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to trade away my time with Lisa in exchange for a painless breakup.
In truth I wanted the hurt and upset, because I wanted Lisa and she was worth the pain that came with it. In truth I would have given anything for that phone call to have been her – regardless of whether she was delivering good or bad news - I just wanted the chance of a reconciliation.
As I thought it through, it occurred to me that was all part of the package, the joy and the heartache, it made life worth living. And I wanted that.
“Sir, we are offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity. You can forget all about Lisa, she is gone. What we have is far better.”
“Thank you for your offer, but I'm going to have to decline I’m afraid. You see, despite the pain and heartache that comes with it, I want love.” I answered defiantly.
“Are you sure you don't want something more?”
“No.” I responded. “Love is enough.” And with that I pressed the red button on the phone and terminated the call.
Maybe Lisa would phone, maybe she wouldn't. All I knew was I wasn’t willing to settle for some artificial algorithm dictating how I was to share my affections and with whom. I knew from that moment that I wanted Lisa and would do whatever it took.
At that point the phone rang again. This time I checked the caller ID and quickly answered