Meeting Abigail Benson - Part 1

The air was crisp and clear.
Abigail took a big breath and enjoyed the feeling of cold air filling her lungs. She let out a deep sigh and made a point of letting the weeks stress go with the big cloud of air.
Looking up at the sky she smiled. It was going to be a good day. The stars shone brightly over her little farm, meaning that today she would be freer to move. The pain that plagued the body of Abigail Benson was nearly unbearable when it rains, and on Haida Gwaii it rains an awful lot, but not today. Today was going to be beautiful and she was going to do something wonderful.
She opened the large barn door and flicked on the light. It was 7:00 am but it still felt to her like the middle of the night.
I wish I could sleep all winter. She thought to herself.
As if her private thought had been heard a soft nicker came from the paddock next to the barn.
She new if she really wanted to sleep all winter she would have to give up her horses and accept defeat.
"Be right out Apple” she called to her mare. Her shoulders burned as she scooped the compressed hay cubes into buckets and soaked them in hot water.
Apple was her dream horse. They had been together since Apple’s conception and she couldn’t ask for a more caring and forgiving partner. Apple had been two years old when Abigail’s body decided it no longer wanted to live the life that Abigail had planned.
It had started with sudden fatigue and then terrible pain in her shoulders and legs, as if she had been much more active than normal. So she rested. She rested for two years and still felt tired and sore and all her medical tests said she was healthy. Confused and alone she ate her sorrows.
Another two years was consumed by suffering during this time Abigail put on 60 pounds . She had become too heavy to start young Apple without hurting her, wanting her to grow strong and last forever, so she waited.
On Apple's 6th birthday. Abigail looked at her, tears rolling down her cheek. “I’m sorry I let you down” she said to her rubbing the narrow shoulder of the dappled grey horse.
Six year old Apple pressed her head against Abigail’s chest as if to comfort her, and at that moment she understood that what she really wanted was to spend time with her horse and that even if she wasn’t able to have grand adventures as she had planned then it was okay as long as they were together. So together is what they did and eventually that time together turned into a little a bit of riding on beautiful days like today.
Today Apple and Abigail were going to the beach.

~

Apple always enjoyed their outings. In fact she enjoyed them more when they walked slowly and she was allowed to look at all the mysterious places humans seem blind to. She enjoyed these walks most because Abigail thought they would be good for snacking and snacking was Apple’s absolute favorite thing to do.
The sun was starting to shine on the farm and the land was warming up. Her belly was full from breakfast which meant it was time to wander over to her favorite sand pile and have a nap with her pony Magic.
Apple’s was a large white Andalusian as opposed to Magic who was a small black section A Welsh pony. Laying together in the sun they stretched out perfectly matched and yet completely opposite.
Time stood still for them as the sun warmed their bodies, until they heard the gentle clang of the gate.
Time to do something, Apple though lazily. She didn’t really care what they were going to do because she knew that Abigail would have snacks and no matter what it would be fun for both of them.
She let out a groan as she laid flat in the sun for just a moment longer then tucked her large black hooves under her belly and began the process of getting off the ground.
“Appppplllllllle” Abigail called. “I have snacks”
Magic, who had been sleeping so deeply just a few minutes before that his and lips were twitching, was already at Abigail’s side sniff testing her pockets to see what type of snacks their human had brought them today.
He was an annoying pony but he made a good snack tester. Apple was sure he had some pony magic that made him faster and more agile than her. It always came in handy when Abigail said “new treats”.
“New treats” were not always good treats and having a pony to test them for her was very worth the annoyance of having a pony.
She heaved her large muscular body off the hard cold ground and shook in attempt to shake free any loose sand that might be stuck to her shinning white coat.
A breeze flew and ruffled the ends of her winter hairs. She loved the feeling of being fluffy in the mild winter breeze. The rain would come soon though and her thick soft coat would get soaked to the skin leaving her cold and shivering. Abigail always knows just when to put on her winter blanket and this year it seemed like she got to run around naked much longer than normal.
She shook one more time for good measure and headed over to her devoted human friend to see what type of snacks she had today.
Wrapping her large soft lips around a piece of sweet carrot she crunched happily while her human fumbled with her halter.
It felt a little more awkward than normal. Apple knew this meant they were probably in for a slow adventure. Slow adventures always happened after Abigail fumbled awkwardly with the halter. Winter always seemed a little harder for her human and she often wondered why.
“You’ll have to stay here today Magic,” Abigail said to the little black pony. He hated to stay behind but they each got to take turns going out, and today it was Apple’s turn.
She held her head high as she walked past the somewhat disappointed little pony and made her way to the truck and trailer waiting in the driveway.
Getting into the trailer was not her favorite thing. When she was little it was fine but as she got bigger the trailer got smaller and something about that didn’t sit right in her in mind. When she was in Abigail closed the door and they were off to the beach.
Magic screamed with all his little pony might while two sets of curious eyes watched from the window of house.

~

The cat’s silver coat shone brightly in the snippet of sunshine that fell through the window. Her intense green eyes matched the sea foam green color of Abigail’s eyes. She stared out the window in the front window the house watching with impish curiosity as her human led the giant white creature she called Apple down the driveway.
When Abigail took the truck and the Apple at the same time it was pretty safe to assume there would be lots of time for mischief before she got home.
Smoke turned to her sister Mirrors, a dark grey tabby with emerald green eyes, and signaled that it was time to play. Mirrors looked back at her with flat ears.
Mirrors didn't like anyone telling her what to do, especially her sister. So instead of subcuming to her sisters suggestion to find something fun to do she decided to sit in the window and watch the creature Abigail called Magic.
The Magic was smaller than the Apple and both of them screamed like they couldn’t live apart for even a moment as soon as one left. The dark grey tabby cat found this very entertaining. She watched the suffering of the smaller outdoor beast.
Magic didn’t disappoint. He screamed, he ran. He bucked in a tantrum like fashion. But Mirrors still got bored.
Then a small flash of light caught her eye and she hurled her 6 pounds of fluffy catness off the windowsill onto the table and across the house in hot pursuit.
Soon Smoke had caught onto the presence of the invader and together they the chased the glowing creature around the house.
The glowing creatures appeared occasionally and they were the most fun to chase because they played by rules only cats could understand. Disappearing into the shadows and emerging again in places nearby, as if they could slip through the walls using secrete passage ways found only in the shadows.
This glowing creature had come to visit them before but for some reason Abigail never paid it any attention to it. Almost as if cats could see it while humans could not.
The sister cats continued their pursuit of the small glowing being as it ducted under blankets, below pillows and through the walls quickly forgetting that their human had left them alone for the day.

~

The cold wind blew off the north pacific and brushed across Abigail’s reddening cheeks.
It was a Northern wind which made it that much colder. She could feel the bite of the Alaskan glaciers blowing from lands not too far from the island, nibbling at her burning skin. Having the energy to ride was rare and sacred so she did her best to ignore it.
The sun was shining, she was out riding her dream horse on a beautiful beach and in that moment, that was all she cared about.
The body of her horse Apple felt warm beneath her. She was grateful that her hands we warm in the snug purple riding gloves she had bought for herself last time she had managed a trip off-island. A carefully calculated purchase and worthwhile investment in Abigail's winter comfort.
Her body hated the cold but her mind loved to ride and where she lived there was more cold than there was warm. Learning how to keep her self comfortable enough to enjoy her life was a crucial component of her mental self care strategies.
There was a time when Abigail thought she should tough things out as if she had something to prove, but pain had become a part of Abigail, making the act of toughing things out a little harder. She thought of her pain like being a chameleon who changed color with the environment, only she changed pain with hers. Some days it was burning pain, some days it was shooting stabbing pain, most days there was a good underlying ache.
Rarely did Abigail ever experience a day without pain and she often wondered what it would be like. Would she still feel alive?
Pain had been a part of her for so long that for the most part it no longer bothered her that much. The fatigue on the other hand was much more annoying and wished her body would giver her even just a little bit of notice when her arms or legs were going to go on strike.
There were days when Abigail felt more like a clumsy gorilla than a human, but she suspected that a gorilla probably had more use of their limbs than she did on those days.
It was frustrating to say the least, mostly because small tasks like finding things in drawers or freezers and putting things away neatly felt almost impossible.
Another breeze blew through Apple's thick white mane. She put the thoughts and feelings of her body aside and hugged her horse taking all the smell of sunshine and horse she could get. Today was a good day.
Today she was on the beach listening to the crashing of the waves. The sky was a bright blue and the mountains of the Alaskan shore to the North of the island were clearly visible.
They two rode in silence as if they were the only beings in the world and with each cold breath of air filling their lings they were filled with gratitude be out enjoying the beaches of their beautiful home.
Abigail wished they could ride together on that beach forever. The sun slipped over the horizon in a beautiful golden ball taking with it any remaining heat from the day.
"We should head home girl" Abigail said to Apple stoking the thick neck of large white horse. "I'm sure the rest of the gang is missing us."

~

Magic was somewhat sweaty and out of breath. It was obvious that he had been running the fence while they were gone.
NEIIIIIIIIGGHGHHHHHH!!!!! He called out to Apple in his little mini-whinny.
NEEIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHH!!! Apple called back, her whinny substantially louder than his echoed in Abigail's ear.
"Rude" Abigail said looking up at her mare displeased.
Just then Abigail heard al loud crashing in the house. What on Earth could those cats be up to now? Just as the thought materialized in her mind she saw it.
A small green flash zip through the wall!
Magic jumped sideways and blew out a defensive snort. His ears perked upwards, nostrils flared, as followed the green thing behind the shrubs next to their shelter.
Abagail put Apple back into the paddock who immediately joined her pasture mate in the search for the green flash.
Finding nothing after several minutes of searching they decided to give up, it was after all time for dinner and any moment Abigail would be bringing hot buckets of mash to fill their tummies.