Rabbit Feat

Rabbit Feat

"I'm going to escape this cage, magic boy!" screamed the fat white rabbit from behind the little iron bars. "You can't keep me like this forever! I will fight my way to freedom, and I'll get my real body back, too!"

"Oh hush," replied the chubby old wizard, as he flexed his toes inside his velvet slippers. "You're just sore that I bested you by turning you into a rabbit. It isn't as though you didn't deserve it, you know. You've been more than rude enough!"

"You did more than change me into a rabbit!" the bunny retorted angrily. "You made me fat! Fat! Oh god, I'm so disgusting now. You might have at least allowed me the dignity of keeping my handsome physique, even as a rabbit!"

"Well, that wouldn't make much sense, would it? This is meant to be a lesson, you know. You need to learn proper manners. You were disgusting long before I gave you all that nice fluff."

"Manners? Do you mean to say that you did this to me just because I told you that you're fat?"

"I believe the exact words that you used were 'soft bodied and useless' and 'too rotund to perform'. Not the sort of thing I would have chosen to say in front of the lady who was present."

"Pffft! You must be joking, fatty! You had no chance with that girl. She was totally into me. What would she want with an obese loser like you, when there's a shredded alpha like me around?"

"On the contrary, hossenfeffer. I was doing rather well with Tiffany until you spoiled the mood with your boorish remarks. And now, you'll never get another opportunity. Eat your food."

"Screw you, Mumbo Jumbo! I'm not eating anything until I'm back in shape, and then you'll be sorry you ever messed with me. I'll excersize until I'm swole enough to kick through these bars."

"Well," replied the wizard, with a fierce gleam in his eye, and a malevolent sneer, "we can't have that, now can we."

The wizard opened the top of the cage and grabbed the rabbit's ears roughly. The rabbit kicked and squirmed in a futile effort to escape, as the wizard clamped a metal collar around the rabbit's neck. The collar was fitted to an apparatus of metal rods, which suspended the fat bunny body above a table full of surgical instruments, bottles, and hoses. Each furry little limb was likewise clamped into the apparatus with bespoke manacles. The rabbit's eyes darted around in terror, as he tried to comprehend what was taking place. A needle, attached to a tube full of liquid coming out of one of the bottles, was inserted into his stomach.

"There, now. That glucose solution should keep you fed quite nicely. You'll even gain some weight. Now, just to make certain that you can't get up to any mischief, I'll do one more thing."

The wizard pawed through the various instruments on the table until he had selected the one that he wanted to use. The rabbit fixated on the device as the wizard lifted it toward the rabbit's feet. The wizard squeezed the two lever like handles together, testing the spring action as two sharp, curved, blades slid tightly across each other. He smiled with the pleasure of using a tool that was perfectly suited for the intended task, and slipped one curved blade beneath the ankle joint of the rabbit's left foot. He paused for one second to lock eyes with the rabbit, and then, with a satisfied grin, he squeezed the handles and neatly chopped off the foot. The rabbit squealed in pain and horror, but that did not dissuade the wizard from performing the same operation on the other foot. He then dropped both feet into a jar that was marked all over with magic runes, and stoppered it with a large flat cork, which he sealed with wax before carving a symbol in the center with a stylus. The symbol glowed briefly. The wizard then touched the stylus to the rabbit's bloody leg stubs, and the blood stopped flowing as the wounds healed magically. The wizard moved the lower manacles up to the rabbit's legs, just below the knees.

"Now then," he said in a soft, reassuring tone of voice, "we'll just leave you like this for a bit, while you recover. Enjoy the glucose. We don't want you losing any more weight, eh?"

He jiggled the jar containing the rabbit's feet as he said this, and placed it high up in a cabinet. He then left the rabbit alone as he went into another room to enjoy his own dinner. He thought he might have a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of his pecan pie. In fact, he considered having two scoops. He doubted that the rabbit would have much to say about it.