Real or Faux?

    I was feeling nostalgic today, so I wore my white topaz ring. The three substantial gemstones flash aggressively, demanding attention a little more boldly than I would like. I prefer my jewelry to enhance me, rather than my displaying it. But this ring was not intended to be unobtrusive.
 
   The ring is a copy of the one my grandmother wore when she crossed the Atlantic from Germany to Canada. She was in dire straits financially, but didn't want to admit it. She bought an ersatz gold ring with three Austrian crystals, hoping that people would believe they were diamonds. Many well-to-do folk caught in the galloping post-war inflation and subsequent financial reform had converted their cash to gems and precious metals; some of them kept their portable wealth with them at all times.
 
   Was anyone taken in by Grandmother's ploy? I don't know. I do believe, however, that this special ring helped give her the self-assurance she needed to start a new life.
 
    She passed the ring on to her daughter. When my mother was married, her intended had not yet bought a wedding ring. She gave him Grandmother's ring to slip on her finger at the ceremony. She later got her wedding band, and wore it all the time. But she still considered the other ring her "real" wedding ring.
 
    The shiny bauble soon showed its true colours. The "gold" turned green, staining my mother's skin when she tried to wear it. She asked a jeweler if he could re-set the stones in a duplicate setting made of gold. His first two attempts to cast the ornate setting failed. She told him to forget it. But by that time, he was intrigued, and made a third attempt. It was successful, and a new version of the ring was created. 
 
    Some years later, my mother decided to upgrade the ring again, and replaced the rhinestones with white topazes. She passed it on to me when she bought a stunning trinity diamond ring, a little smaller than Grandmother's ring, but very similar.
 
    Near the end of Grandmother's life, my mother happened to wear the diamond ring when she was visiting the nursing home. Grandmother smiled contentedly when she saw it, thinking it was the same one she had worn over forty years ago. "Yes," she said, "That really does look like a diamond ring!" 
 
    That's how it is with memories. Rhinestones can be transformed into diamonds or topazes, or even both. There were four different versions of that ring, just as there can be multiple versions of the same memory. Even though the ring I am wearing today does not contain any part of the original ring, in some sense it is still the same ring my grandmother wore on her transatlantic voyage, the same ring my father slipped on my mother's finger on her wedding day.
 
    Perhaps someday my grandchildren will tell the story of Great-great-grandmother's ring.
 
    "It had three huge diamonds in it."
    
    "No -- she couldn't afford diamonds. They were just rhinestones."
 
    "Well, Penny has the ring, and she says those stones are white topazes."
 
    "Penny's ring? You've got to be kidding! The real one was pawned back in 2008 to pay for your braces, and Mom could never afford to get it back."
 
    That's one of the wonderful things about the past. We can interpret it any way we want. Diamonds or rhinestones? It's up to you.
 
    I tend towards diamonds myself, even if I suspect in my heart of hearts that the rhinestone theory has more merit. When I look at pictures of my family, I see happy smiles, and I smile back. I know there were many times when we weren't smiling, but that's not what I need to think about right now. Present-day reality has enough griefs and challenges; no need to import more from the past.
 
    Diamonds it is.