The Track of The Eyelids

The Writer’s Message

Based on my experience with schizophrenia and erotomania disorders, I decided to share this delusion/story with you. I was a high school girl who had an interest in mental health. Suddenly, by my junior year, I started to suffer from erotomania after having psychosis for two years.
To explain more the mental health terms mentioned here and in the story, the female protagonist (Maria), who is inspired by my experience, has Psychosis which is a symptom of Schizophrenia that includes hallucinations and delusions, Schizophrenia is the optimal suffering from psychosis, which includes more symptoms with Psychosis that should last for more than 6 months, like disorganized speech. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder, which means it can cause delays in functioning in life, such as studies or work, which happens with Maria.
Maria experiences something called a "Psychotic episode," which has specific characteristics, mainly irritation. In this case, the patient's family is usually informed about his/her illness. The inner struggles with the voices inside the head and the thoughts that are fought appear to the family and the surroundings in an irritated behavior as having delusions about being spied on, which is Maria's case. 
Ahmed, the male protagonist, has ADHD as a teenager. Contrary to Psychosis, which usually occurs in adolescence, ADHD usually appears in childhood. The case of Ahmed includes several changes and symptoms at every stage.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, if you don't already know, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that appears in childhood, mostly in boys, and it includes symptoms like hyperactivity and difficulty in attention. Low functioning in studies exists with bad memory issues in adulthood. Difficulty organizing emotions, aggression, hyper-focus, hypermnesia, and sensitivity can be ADHD teenager symptoms, as well as Ahmed. He also experiences a "mental health crisis." It is not a diagnosis itself but a description of cases of patients who have a kind of mental/nervous breakdown. They can appear as a kind of aggression to the self, suicide, self-harm, or violence caused by previous periods of depression, exposure to trauma, and inability to function in life.
Both Ahmed and Maria are mistakenly diagnosed with Erotomania, which is one of the delusions that happens when someone believes that someone else is in love with them when it is not true.
To have this diagnosis, you have to not be in contact with the person you have this delusion about. This person is usually from a higher status; the patient is usually a woman and inexperienced in relationships.
I hope you enjoy reading this story, which means a lot to me.

Samar Khalefa

In the dawn darkness, Ahmed, who has black hair and white skin, stretches his arm to turn off his phone alarm. He adjusts the alarm for Fajr prayers every night as he is Muslim in the United States. He performs ablution, puts the mat on the floor, and starts to pray Fajr. The weather is a bit cold. It’s September of 2015. The room with white walls and wealthy equipment is dark, which makes him focus on praying. After saluting, he prays, sitting on the mat. “Allah, I don’t want anything but your blessings and forgiveness. I’m.. I’m trying to keep your guidance as I can.. Please, save my family and me from any crisis. Amen.” He wipes his face with his hands. He is spiritual rather than his rioter behaviors. 

As he is a second-generation Egyptian-American, Ahmed had some problems coping with the world. Different cultures and people. However, he doesn’t know a lot about Egyptian culture except some things he knew from Egyptian movies he watched when he was curious about his ancestors. His mother, Sarah, taught him the Quran and prayers. His father, Magdy, wasn’t very religious. In this cruel world, it was a beautiful thing to see Ahmed commit to his prayers. 

At the same time, Maria, who has the same appearance and features as Ahmed, was praying in her modest room, and crying. “Allah, I know I have to be patient but.. I'm tired of these thoughts.. I can’t resist it anymore.. Please Allah, let me get healed from this soon”. She wipes her tears and stands up to continue sleeping before school in the morning. Maria is suffering from psychosis. She has been suffering from delusions and dissociation for a while. That’s why she asks for God’s help.

Maria, who is a second-generation Egyptian-American as well, chose to be religious in teenage as she developed a strict personality and a distant one from her family members who adapted to the country’s cultural background. She chooses to wear the hijab although her mother, Yousra, and sister, Leyan, don’t wear it. The challenge was higher for Maria to adapt to the differences of the cultures. She had no personality and a cold face, although she had volcanoes deep inside. She needed love and support from her parents who were distant and cold. However, she could give what she missed sometimes.

Hopefully, Maria and Ahmed’s families decide to let them get into an international high school, where bullying can be manageable as all students are already diverse, which will help them be open to different cultural backgrounds and it can enhance their communication skills. Their Arabic speech was rare as they had to adapt to the daily conversations with the Americans. As a result, Ahmed and Maria didn’t know much Arabic. All of these messy cultural changes were the reason for their suffering from mental illnesses. It is not the same for all international students to suffer, but as in the case of Ahmed and Maria who had parental issues, they had a worse experience.

The morning comes, and Ahmed gets out of his room, holding his school bag. Suddenly, he remembers that he forgot something, his books! Ahmed has a history of ADHD but he doesn’t remember about it. His medications were taken at the age of 6. He didn’t know what ADHD meant. He was a child. Hopefully, he got healed from it, did well in studies and socials, and stopped medications, until he started to suffer again with a different pain.

He passes beside Sarah having a short warm conversation. “Mom, I’m getting out. Bye,” Ahmed said. Sarah raises her voice. “Eat something before leaving, dear!” Ahmed after opening the door, hurrying to school. “I’ll eat something outside.” Sarah smiles reacting to his teenage behaviors. Ahmed is the only child of his parents, so his mother loves him a lot. She also has felt sad for him in his childhood for his suffering from ADHD.

At the same time, Maria was holding her school bag tightly. She has a serious personality. No boyfriends, no jokes, just studies! She passes beside Yousra quickly, her mother, having a usual stiff conversation. Maria says in a rough voice. “I’m going to school. Bye!” Yousra, who is watching the TV, looks at Maria. “Did you eat something?” Maria replies sharply. “I did!” Maria leaves the house, and Yousra looks surprised. Maria has been very distant and staying alone a lot. This habit gradually increases.

In the school corridor, Ahmed and Maria are walking on the same floor. On the first days of the first semester of senior high school year, the class started minutes ago. That’s why Maria was in a hurry. Ahmed and Maria exchange glances. Maria looks interested in him, while Ahmed looks cold and prestigious, which makes Maria adopt the same attitude and look her way to the class. Maria gets into the class quickly before him. She sits beside her friends after coldly warming them as a serious, perfect, good girl. Ahmed comes after her. The class boys (they are men as they believe about themselves) salute Ahmed warmly. One guy asks him. “How are you, man?” Another one asks about his health, and Ahmed waves at each of them and shakes some of their hands. “I’m good, guys!” Maria is somewhat introverted, while Ahmed is extremely extroverted and talkative.

Maria looks at him with narrowed eyes. Ahmed sits beside one of his friends and starts talking and laughing. The teacher suddenly. “Ahmed! Keep silent!” Ahmed waves at the teacher, showing apologies. Girls looked at him with interest as he was handsome and had a powerful personality. Maria, who is still looking at Ahmed, looks back at the teacher again who resumes the lesson. She doesn’t forget to drop her eyelids, showing an uncaring attitude, although she showed the opposite a few seconds before.

****

Maria is a talented guitarist. Although she is serious, she believes in the arts and has a sense of beauty. She always had feelings to express, but her psychosis prevented her from effective communication with people. She needed strength and believed Love is a weakness. When she was playing guitar outside the classroom, Ahmed was sitting and watching her with curiosity. He didn't know if something was growing inside him or just her beautiful fingers caught his attention. She strums the guitar and plays advanced notes and chords. With every strumming she does, Ahmed’s heart bounds. Her classmates give her a lot of attention just for her talent, not for herself, as she is rarely conversational. They look amused and enjoy her music.
When the teacher gets in the classroom, Maria stands up with her friends to get into the class, as well. She puts the guitar in a safe place in the classroom and walks to sit in her seat. Ahmed monitors her when she comes inside. As the teacher started writing the lesson on the board, Ahmed peeked at Maria. He is doing something against his charismatic personality. He is not used to giving that attention to a girl. He looks at her with wide eyes and a dumb face. Suddenly, a girl asks Maria to explain a question in a notebook. Maria looks back at her. When Maria looks back, Ahmed looks away quickly like he wasn’t looking around her. Maria noticed him but didn’t care. She thought he didn’t care about her as she was not that attractive.
As the teacher started explaining the lesson, Ahmed peeked at Maria again. He was monitoring all her eye movements. He was stressed about his appearance and whether she liked him or didn’t care as she always shows. When Maria looks around him, for instance, he quickly adjusts his t-shirt. Something was seriously growing inside him. He wanted to look amazing in her eyes as she also did. Suddenly, some girls in the class catch Ahmed looking at Maria and adjusting his t-shirt. They whisper in each other's ears and laugh. As Ahmed noticed this, he felt embarrassed, covered this with a serious face, and threw it into the book, acting as if he was attentive to the teacher.

****

The break comes, and the students are in San Francisco's International High School campus. The atmosphere is full of youthful actions. As Maria was sitting on a seat, she was monitoring Ahmed, who was playing football, or as he was supposed to focus on. He was coming and going everywhere in the playground, talking, joking, running, joining a football match... He has an ADHD history! Maria, who was curious about mental health, was surfing her phone searching for psychosis, her disorder, and... ADHD.
She had a feeling that Ahmed had ADHD and a past suffering with it. Her sense of mental health and the huge amount of knowledge she acquired from reading made her very aware of the cases and what they may suffer. However, she failed several times to put down a diagnosis. Her phone showed information about Psychosis and ADHD. When she was reading about ADHD, she was monitoring Ahmed's movements more and more. She was analyzing everything. The hyperactivity, the talkative characteristic, the inattentive and hyper-focusing attitude, and more symptoms she was curious if he had or not like daydreaming.

Guys and girls are talkative in high school. They were talking about Ahmed and Maria and gossiping. Two guys and Pedro, Ahmed's close friend, were walking beside each other on the school campus. Guy 1 speaks. “Maria is playing with Ahmed's feelings.” Guy 2 replies. “No, man! He loves her.” Guy 1 objects. “but her father is not as famous as Ahmed's father. Ahmed's father has the biggest trading company in San Francisco, and it has many other branches across California. She is lower than him in social status.” Guy 2 asks for Pedro’s opinion. “Pedro, did you hear this 'social status' expression? Haha! He is an idiot!”
Guy 2 keeps laughing at the formal words his sassy mate said, Pedro looks serious and replies. “Of course he is; because he thinks something is between them.” Guy 2 comments. “So you believe he isn't attracted to her?” Pedro explains to them. “It is her who is attracted to him, not him attracted to her. It's the opposite.” Guy 2 looks confused. "But the looks and the eye contact they exchange..” Pedro says in a confident voice. “Oh boy..just simple tricks from her to make him give her attention.”
Some girls were staring at Ahmed and Maria on the campus during the break. They exchange gossip as they stand. Girl 1 says. “Look at him. He guarantees her love, so he acts like he doesn't care.” Girl 2 adjusts her hair in a silly way. “No. He is supposed to love a girl like me.” Girl 3 waves at Girl 2 to stop her talk. “Uh, stop it! Just look! Don't they look like each other?” Girl 1, 2, and 3 exchange looks at Ahmed and Maria, who are a few ten meters from each other and them. Girl 1 comments. “Mm. not much. I mean. Why would there be a similarity?" Girl 2 replies to Girl 1. “They are Egyptians.” Girl 1 says with a curious voice. “So what is this, you think? Silent love?” The girls laugh and walk away.
Ahmed heard the girls by chance as he was walking in their direction. He was noticing the rumors and their talk, as well as Maria. When he hears this, he smiles and shakes his shoulders, showing his questionable attitude about why they do that. Suddenly, Ahmed's friends, Leo, Pedro, Akira, and Omar, find Ahmed playfully jumping on Leo, saying “Hi!”. Leo aches. “Ouch! You hurt my shoulder!” Leo pats his shoulder as Ahmed does. Ahmed apologizes. “Sorry, Leo.”
He salutes the rest of the group. While Leo looks at Ahmed and then at the group members in a sly way, he talks to Ahmed. “So, boss? Where will we go today?”. Ahmed spreads his looks to the group members. “What do you think, guys? Pizza?” The group shouts in agreement. “Pizza!”, and then they run behind each other. Maria noticed this situation with interest, always cautious that someone may see her focusing on him.
Every time Maria walks on the school campus during the break, watching Ahmed playing football or joking with his friends, she keeps telling herself, “He is Muslim, cute, loves cars and classics. Why not?” She didn’t mind being his girlfriend, but just his interest. She thought he didn’t even know she existed. One time, Ahmed's friend saw her staring at Ahmed. When she noticed she was looking at him, she quickly looked at her notebook, acting like nothing was there. However, the class noticed everything every day.
Another time when Maria returns home, she gets in her room, throws the books, which is not her habit at all, and rests her back on the bed. A love song was playing on the TV in the salon where her mother Yousra and other acquaintances were talking. She smiles in joy and stares at the ceiling. The song on the TV spreads love feelings in Maria’s atmosphere. “OH, WHEN YOU TRULY LOVE AGAIN! OH, WHEN YOU TRULY LOVE AGAIN AFTER LONG YEARS” The singer said. 
As Maria is lost in her dreams, she closes her eyes and smiles. Suddenly, she stands up. Her face is terrified, and her eyes are widened. “No.. no.. I shouldn't have these feelings. I have to stop it.” Maria said to herself. She breathes quickly from the panic as she recognizes that she has feelings for Ahmed. Teenagers with psychosis usually can't focus on relationships when they are dealing with different major issues like psychosis. However, she was interested in this love.
At night, Maria is preparing dinner in the kitchen. She prefers having her meal alone. Maria’s family is not very warm. They are usually distant. Her father, Magdy, is always away at work. Yousra is always on the phone and the TV. It’s rare when they have lunch together on the weekend. This distance Maria has from her family is the reason beyond her emotional spareness. This leads later to developing her psychosis. Maria steers the pasta in the pot and talks to her younger sister, Leyan. 
“Leyan, how was school today?” Maria asked. Leyan crosses her arms on her chest. “Not very well. I hate a lot of people there.” Maria looks concerned. “Why? What happened?” Leyan looks down. “Nothing. I just hate seeing them every morning. It is like seeing demons in the place!” Maria laughs. “Ha Ha! Didn't you choose this school alone and refuse to join mine? Don't be that furious. You can avoid them; I know how schoolmates are annoying, especially when you don’t have common cultural backgrounds. Focus on studying and having fun with your close friends.” Leyan chose to join an American school instead of an international one.
Leyan replies with sadness. “My close friends don't care about me.” Leyan looks up and puts her finger on her chin. “Umm, yes, we spend time together and attend school together.” Leyan raises her shoulders. "but they do not ask about me if I am absent." Maria looks sad and hugs her. “Aw, I am sorry you are feeling this way.” Maria leaves her embrace and points to her with her finger. “Listen, don't wait for anyone to care about you! Just care about making yourself happy. While you do not harm anyone, you should also include yourself.” Leyan smiles at Maria and hugs her. “Thanks, Maria!”
As the days pass, Maria starts to search for his accounts on social media and stalks. She discovered more about him and his personality, his favorite car types, his favorite friends, and more. She sits one day in her room, with the school book in her hands, but her heart and mind are elsewhere. Maria talks to herself. “I refuse these feelings, Uh..Okay. It's ordinary to have these feelings because I'm a teen, but.. Uh.. No.. it is hard..” She feels hopeless about conquering these feelings and keeping her strength.

****

Ahmed and Leo, Ahmed's best friend, are walking after school in the street. They have a cool conversation about having some fun. Leo says in excitation. “I wish I could drive my father's car. It is a luxury sports one from Germany. Did you see it? On Instagram?” Ahmed replies in his cool voice. “Yes, I did. But I'm not interested in these kinds of cars. You know I'm a classic man!" Leo laughs. “Yes, I know.” He replied. Leo smiles and stares at Ahmed for a while, then he replies. “What about having a car ride tonight? With our fathers' cars?” Ahmed looks serious and terrified. “Oh, no. My father would have killed me if something happened to the car.” Leo replies, playfully. “Don't be afraid. You are a skilled driver! You have been driving so well for the last two summers and you have already obtained your driving license this year!”

Ahmed looks serious and stops walking, then Leo as well. “I'm not afraid! I'm never afraid.. I'm just cautious. Even if I have my driving license or a skilled driver, Dad doesn’t trust me. He says I’m reckless with cars.” Ahmed said with a pained face. Leo stares at Ahmed,  then they continue walking again. Leo replies. “Mmm. Okay, let's delay this amazing event to a time that will never come.” Leo waves at Ahmed and runs to his house. “adiós!” Ahmed stops in his place, staring at Leo, who disappears from the place, thinking of something we can't figure out.
Ahmed is in his room at night, turning off the light to sleep. As he was about to go to bed, he heard a noise from the street. He was curious to know what it was, especially when the noise revealed more about its source, which was something he loves: Cars! He opened the window's curtain and looked at the street. There was a cabriolet with some boys having fun in it. They were laughing and enjoying the Adrenaline! He looked at them and smiled. He can feel the excitement they are feeling. Unintentionally, he raises his hands and acts like he is holding a steering wheel. He tenses his hands strongly, but he returns to reality and drops his face to the floor with a hopeless impression. Then, he closes the curtains and sleeps on the bed, dreaming of his car ride.

After some hours, Ahmed was moving a lot in the bed. He can't sleep. Something is bothering him. He suffered from a similar thing in his childhood, but he doesn’t remember. The twitching legs! Or Restless Leg Syndrome. After some minutes, he sits on the bed and brushes his hair with his hand in confusion. Then, he brings his iPhone and calls Leo.
Leo answers in a sleepy voice. "What's it?" Ahmed speaks with a shaky voice. “Uhh.. Leo..” Leo keeps silent for a while and then figures out what Ahmed wants. “So, you want to have the ride?” Leo asks. Ahmed smiles with joy. "Yes!" Leo jumps from his bed. “Yesss! That's my boy.” Ahmed interrupts. “I'm your father. Don't say it again” Leo comments. “We will see who is the father and son,” Ahmed replies in excitation. “Okay!”
They end the call, and Ahmed leaves his bed as Leo did already. They steal their parents' car keys, get in the garages of each house, and bring the cars. Ahmed got the car: a black Toyota. His father doesn’t have a cabriolet, and its use in the modern days won’t be that amazing. However, Ahmed was very excited when he had the chance to insert the key into the car engine, and he was more excited when the engine started to work. He drives until he meets Leo in a place in the city. They cross the cars and have a deal.
Leo says in a challenging tone. “So we will have a competition, okay?” Ahmed replies. “Okay, cool!” Leo. “Who reaches the town’s age first is the winner.” Ahmed, before moving the steering wheel. “Let it be..” They reach the town edge, and Ahmed wins. Ahmed gets out of the car. “I told you. I'm always the first!” Leo is in despair. “Ahh, you got this man. Fast and Furious champion!” Ahmed laughs at Leo's humor. They walk at midnight.
“What an amazing view of this a.m.” Ahmed sighs while walking beside Leo. “You have been so handsome this year. Girls will love you more and more.” Ahmed chuckled with his prestigious voice. Leo replies while petting Ahmed’s head. “No one is likable from girls as you. We all know.” Leo said. They sit on a seat beside a tree and have a conversation. “What's the matter?” Leo asks suddenly, after staring at Ahmed. Ahmed looks at him and replies in confusion. “Huh? Which matter?" Leo explains his question with a smirk. "Something is annoying you,” Ahmed replies with hesitation. “Ahh.. not really” Leo speaks in a serious voice. “If not, what made you awake until this time?”
Ahmed looks stressed and replies, after brushing his hair with his hand. “Ahh.. I don't know.. I just wanted to have fun, and you made me drive my father's car unconsciously!” Leo replies with a sly smile. “I think it is a girl.” Ahmed didn’t expect this and looked with a surprised face. “No. What made you think this way?” Leo smiles again at Ahmed, who looks to the other side. “Because I know who she is.” 
Ahmed kept silent like he didn't hear and felt attacked. Leo takes a deep breath and talks to Ahmed while he stands up. “Okay.. Remember, when you need to talk about it, don't hesitate to tell me.” Ahmed replies with an absent expression. “Sure, I will soon.” Leo looks with a surprised face. “Then I'm right!” Ahmed returns consciousness and waves at Leo. “No, no. Uh.. I mean.. I mean.. I will tell you anything I want when I feel I need to.. Uh.. Yes.. That's it.”
Ahmed breathes quickly from shyness and glares at Leo, who keeps laughing out loud until he gets in his father's car and leaves with it. Ahmed rests in the seat, stops breathing quickly, and smiles with bright eyes. He felt the happiness that surrounded his heart and soul just to express his feelings for his friend. He didn’t say a word, but even having an understanding friend like Leo made him feel he said everything. Although he was fighting his pride to say he loved Maria, his heart melted when he found a conversation that made his emotions valid even before he said anything.
Ahmed drives home and gets in his room. He rests on the bed and smiles. He sleeps on his edge and talks to himself. “Maybe she looks this way at all people. I think that I like her.” He was skeptical if she liked him as he did. He remembers her form when she plays guitar, imagining her beauty. He continues. “I like her personality and how she is not like the other girls. Her eyes.. her fingers playing on the guitar..” He smiles adorably before saying with a hard voice. “She is so beautiful!” He covers his face with the pillow because of his shyness.
In the morning, Ahmed stands in front of the mirror before going to school for the first-semester exam. He wore his best shirt and wool shirt. He made himself appear as a classic man as he could, even his pompadour hairstyle. He didn’t forget to spray his perfume. He knew Maria loved classics, and that’s why he felt they matched together. At that time in the early relationships, we care about appearances, but later Ahmed and Maria’s love becomes stronger and deeper. He discusses with his inner self how to reveal his feelings to Maria in front of the mirror.
“It would be so blunt and stupid to go to her and say I love you!” He tells himself. His mind blows up with an idea, so he is delighted. “Oh yes! I can go to her after the exam and ask her what she did in the exam!” After a while, his delighted face fades and shows hesitation. “But she may say, what's your business??” He rests his chin on his hand and ruminates. “It is like.. Nothing is gathering us except school and classes.” His mind pops up another idea. “Maybe tell her a joke?" Then he loses interest in the concept again. “No, she is serious and won't like that.” He feels hopeless, sits on the edge of the bed, and takes a deep breath. He didn’t know how to start the conversation. After a while, he looks at his handwatch, noticing he is late for the exam. He quickly stands up from the bed and leaves the room.

Students are walking and talking during the break on campus with random voices. The atmosphere is stressful and youthful. The sky is sunny, although it is November. From the school stairs, Maria appears holding her papers, revising with diligence, not caring for anyone. Her outfit is messed up, and her face is sweaty. She goes down to the playground. Ahmed is on the other edge of the playground, about 50 meters apart from Maria. He rotates around himself with anxiety and randomly moves his lips and hands. Ahmed acts on his proposal. “Maria, I wanted to tell you about my feelings…” He practices.
Maria steps the last step on the stairs. Ahmed sees her descending the stairs and centers his hands beside him in surprise. He has seen his love! He is about to express his feelings, but something strange happens. He doesn't move to go to her and speak. He just stares at her with love. His eyes sparkle, and his smile widens. His love conquered his fear. He let his eyes show it. 
On the other side, Maria looked around her and spotted her concentration on Ahmed, who was smiling with sparkling eyes, but.. Is he looking at her?? He seemed to focus on her.. or behind her, maybe? She was in front of the stairs. Maybe he was waiting for his friends to leave the exam hall? She simply couldn't believe he was looking at her. She looks in a shocked way until two girls interrupt this eye contact. 
“Maria, is that answer right?” A girl of the two interrupts her. Maria looks at them momentarily, then replies after reading the paper. “Huh? Uhh.. Yes, it's right.” The girl talks to the other. “See? I told you.” They disappear from Maria's concentration and leave. She returns to Ahmed with her eyes skeptically. Was it the truth? Did he look into her eyes? She was confused. She looks back at Ahmed gradually until she finds him with a sad face staring at her. When her eyes meet, he smiles again with a wider smile than the previous one. His eyes sparkled more, too. Maria felt stressed and believed it wasn't true. So, she suddenly moves and holds the books and papers in her arms like she told him: No.. my studies at first! 
Ahmed's face changes as she moves, leaves their parallel eye contact, and looks at her with a surprised angry face. How dare she refuse him? He is higher than her! Did she even see him? He was also surprised and confused. All they both knew was that they had this eye contact and acted upon it for years later. Maria reaches a seat and sits on it while looking at Ahmed's eye again with a proud face and uncaring eyelids. Ahmed looks at her again with sparkling eyes but a disappearing smile and a begging face. However, Maria drops her face to the books she holds with uncaring, painful leaving. 
The place was noisy, but in Ahmed's head, it was silent. The place was sunny and warm, but he felt cold. It was like he felt ashamed of himself. He then tenses his arms' veins strongly, showing a violent expression with hopeless and angry narrowed eyes and crossed eyebrows. Some guys and girls in school saw him looking at Maria. They saw Maria’s attitude, too. One guy looks at his mate wide-eyed like they are preparing their next gossip for the week.
After the exam ends, Ahmed runs to his house. He enters his room, throws the keys on the floor, and cries on the bed. He shouts suddenly. “God! Let me be dead!” His ADHD symptoms as a teen are fueled now by this situation, and the illness returns after recovery for years...
When Maria returns home, she keeps studying and looks beside her. She was wondering if what she had seen was true or not. She returns to studying after not figuring out anything. Her uncaring attitude stayed for some time as she started dissociating her thoughts and feelings from reality. 

****

In the morning, Ahmed is resting on the bed with red eyes. He hasn't slept or changed his clothes since the previous day. He looks at the ceiling for a while, then leaves the bed quickly, like he has planned for something.
In the school corridor, Ahmed, Leo, Pedro, Akira, Omar, and other boys from the class walk along the road to and behind Ahmed. They walk seriously and assertively. After a moment, they reach Maria's exam hall door. Ahmed gets inside the hall quickly, and the rest of the group follows him. In the hall, Ahmed walks through the sets and the desks searching for Maria's seat number, which he has got from his friends in the same hall. He finally finds it, kicks it with his palm, and jumps on it. Ahmed orders the group. “Come on guys, lift all these desks and throw them on hers!” The group as a response. “Hooray!”
They started to bring all the desks and seats in the hall and put them on Maria's seat and desk. At the same moment, Ahmed sits on another desk and puts his leg on the other. Suddenly, Leo brings a bag and opens it, getting a Shisha out of it and lending it to Ahmed, who gets the stick and sips it. Ahmed then looks at the door they have closed in a challenging face. He was waiting for Maria to come to the hall and talk to him, expressing his anger.
Some time passed, and the exam bell rang. Ahmed and the group immediately get out of the hall without being seen. Maria and the exam hall mates, including Maria's friends, Khadija, Tania, and Katy, arrive in the hall with surprised faces. Tania stepped in front of the messed desks tower which was in the middle of the hall. "What's this mess?" Tania said.
Maria looks at the seats, noticing the mess tower is on her seat and desk. She feels a weird situation and crosses her eyebrows, then looks behind her, showing that she believes someone meant her by this behavior. Tania continues in a hopeless, sarcastic voice. "Uhh... those idiots. What were they thinking of?!" The group of mates entered the hall and returned the seats and desks to their places.
After the exam, the students exit the exam halls along the school corridor. While Ahmed rests on the wall kneeling one leg on it, putting his hands in his jeans pockets, Maria gets out with her friends. When he notices her, he sends his leg to the floor and adjusts his position to face Maria. He smiles slyly at her with narrow eyes, expecting she will argue. As she passes by him, she laughs at a joke Tania says. Ahmed drops his jaw in surprise. She wasn't interested in even arguing! While he looks to his side with a hopeless expression, Maria, who has already passed by him, smirks and rolls her eyeballs to their edges.
The second semester came. Maria arrives at the class and sits on her seat. After a while, Ahmed enters the class. His eyes are red, and his mouth is open. He looks at Maria, and Maria looks at him with a cold face. Their eyes trace each other until he passes by her. Ahmed then looks on his way to his seat. Maria smiles slyly with a sharp look at the board.
In Maria's room, she covers herself with the bedcover and looks away. She picks up her phone and puts her finger on the front camera to cover it, she has delusions of being spied on. She opens Twitter and then opens Ahmed's profile. She turns off the phone, puts it on her pillow, and looks at the ceiling. Then, she closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale, then exhales, praying. “Allah, support me.”

****

Ahmed is asleep on his bed, covered by a blanket. He is sweating and shrinking his eyes. He is experiencing a nightmare or a flashback. He wasn't sure.
He sees his hand scribble on the wall, then he rotates and jumps on the bed he is standing on as he sees all the room walls full of scribbles. He stops, sees Sarah shocked in front of the door, and puts her hand on her mouth. “Ya Allah, again Ahmed?” She looks at him, and he continues jumping and rotating, and then he sees Faried, Ahmed's father, entering the room and looking at the walls. Ahmed keeps jumping while looking at them. Faried shouts. “Oh, my gosh! What's all this mess!” Ahmed sees Faried approaching him, pointing to him with his hands, and raising his voice. “You are a stupid and crazy child. Are we going to clean all this mess forever?” Ahmed stops jumping, and Faried slaps him on his face. Ahmed falls on the bed and starts to cry.
(Ahmed is sweating and tensing his eyebrows.)
In the morning, Maria, Khadija, Katy, and Tania rest on a desk. The girls laugh loudly. Suddenly, Akira and Pedro pass by Maria and look at her. Maria looks beside them and leaves the place. Pedro looks at Maria while she is going. “The cruelest girl in our school!" Akira replies. "Yes, she cheated on him. He does not deserve this.” They rotate their heads. Maria looks to the floor, then looks forward and determines in her walk. Tania stands up from the desk and rests on it. Pedro looks at Tania, Khadija, and Katy. “Why are you supporting her?” Pedro asks. Katy furiously replies. "Listen, you do not know the truth. This guy, Ahmed, has told you..." Akira interrupts. “He did not tell us anything. Trust me!” Tania wonders. “So how did you know about her story with Ahmed?” Akira lifts his shoulders. “As you knew!” Tania replies. "She did not tell us anything." 
Pedro waves his hand. “Of course, she did not. She will not say I had a crush on Ahmed, and I made him love me, and then I cheated on him to make him a joke in front of the entire school!” Tania waves her hand. “What? In front of the whole school? Seriously? You are talking like she told us to gather the students to watch Ahmed proposing to her. Kind of!” Katy, Tania, and Khadija laugh, and then Tania rotates her head to them. “And how did she cheat on him? Did she even talk to him once?” Katy comments. “Yes, exactly. You know, Akira, that some guys and girls say that they like each other because of the way they look at each other, and they are already attractive.” Tania seriously looks at Akira and Pedro. “Most of the guys here are jealous of Ahmed because he is better than them in everything. Most girls dream of being his girlfriend. Particularly, they say nuts to make him lose prestige by persuading him that she made him lose his pride in the school.” Tania waves her hand. “Huh? Guys, come on!" Tania smiles sarcastically. “Yes, this is why they talk about them,” Katy comments. Pedro points his finger at them. “Tell the truth, do you think she does not manipulate him?” Khadija repeats the information. “She did not say a word about that matter. Do you mean because people here say they like each other and flirt with their eyes? These students are cheating on you with their talk, folks!” Akira points his fingers at Katy and Tania. “I will just tell you a word. She will regret losing him.” Tania moves her head down. “Like, okay. She may be in love with him, but not care about him.” Pedro lifts his shoulders. “And he does not care, either!”
Tania raises her head and looks at Pedro. “So why are you saying things and spreading rumors?” Akira objects. “We did not! We listen to what the others say about them when they are in the same place.” Tania closes her eyes and points to Akira and Pedro with her hand. “You, both! You are manipulating the situation to make her suffer rather than him. It is all done.” She opens her eyes and waves at Akira and Pedro. “Watch your mouths, later.” Tania leaves, and Katy and Khadija follow her.

****

Ahmed is scrolling his phone screen in his room. He clicks on a guitar song on SoundCloud and puts his hands-free in his ears. He looks up with wide eyes and smiles. 
In the morning, Ahmed is sitting at the back of the class. Maria is seated in front of the other side of the class. Suddenly, Ahmed stands up and sits on the right side of Maria at another desk. Maria pins her eyes on the teacher. Maria moves her notebook to the other side from Ahmed and writes with her pen on it. Ahmed looks at her, then holds the book on the desk and looks inside it. Maria looks at the teacher, and then Ahmed looks at him. Maria writes in the notebook, and then Ahmed writes in his notebook. 
Ahmed peeks at Maria, who finishes writing and looks at the board. Ahmed looks in his book, and then Maria peeks at him. This situation is stressful for Maria and challenging for Ahmed. Ahmed keeps looking at the book and smiles. He puts the book on its base and writes on it. Maria looks at the notebook, puts the pen strongly, and exhales.
Ahmed looks at her and smiles. Maria glares to the other side. Ahmed's smile disappears and he looks at her for a while. Maria crosses her eyebrows strongly and rubs her hands while Ahmed looks down for 2 seconds, then shakes his head up and down. "Ok, come on, guys! See you next week." The teacher said. The teacher leaves the class, and the students stand up to get out of the class. Some girls behind look at Ahmed and Maria. Ahmed stands up and looks at Maria. He steps forward slowly, and Maria looks to the other side. He passes by her, puts his hands in his pants pockets, looks down, and leaves the class. The girls behind put their hands on their open mouths. Maria looks back to the door and widens her eyes. She crosses her eyebrows, looks down, then holds her books and moves up.