Two sides of a coin.

A NEGATIVE DAY
Alastor was a timid man, a man that went out of his way to please everyone, and to melt away into the background in less time than it took a sentence to escape his lips. He had next to no ambition, and that trait was only matched by his lack of decision making. He struggled to believe the words that left his mouth, so how was anyone else meant to take him seriously. His 'get up and go' had got up and left a long time ago, and he had been like a directionless ship ever since. His hair was dark brown and had no real direction, sometimes he liked his hair forward and sometimes he liked it in a side part, this made his hair as confused as the rest of him. He had no real side he preferred to sleep on, he just slept on whatever side felt most comfortable after downing a few aloholic drinks the previous night. He picked his clothes by whatever mood struck him when he first woke up, and listened to whatever music seemed to agree with him in the moment. He had no particular style or preference in music, he liked to live life emotionally, and his choice of music seemed to reflect the chaotic nature of his life.
He was currently asleep and was snoring, little did he know that his alarm had just gone off and he was now running late.
He woke up feeling groggy. His head hurt from the night before. He glanced at the clock, it was already 8:15, he had slept in. Panic flooded through him as he leapt out of bed, jolted awake by the realisation that he was late to work. He was going to miss his bus. He quickly thought of what he could do without; a shower was the most time consuming part of his morning, but as his bus was leaving in fifteen minutes, that would have to be sacrificed. He knew it would mean feeling unclean and unprepared all day, but there was nothing to be done. He wrenched open his front door, and dropped his housekeys into the murky puddle that had formed in front of his door. Cursing his luck, he put his hand in the cold puddle to retrieve his keys and struggled to stand up again, his back had seized up. He did not have time to think about the pain he was in though, his bus was due any minute. His stomach was hurting him too because of the lack of food, he ran to the top of his street, and out of breath, watched as his bus drove past. He settled himself glumly and resigned to the fact he was going to be late for work again, he decided to wait on the cold stone wall rather than go home again. He did not want to get warmed up again only to step back out in this drizzle only to gamble with being late for the bus again.
He looked down and realised he had mis-matched socks on. He had yanked a dark jumper out of his wardrobe and some dark jeans, they were creased as well as wet and as he thought that he had taken no time to have a shower, he decided to keep his coat on for the day so as not to release any body odour.
He thought about the day ahead, he had given it no thought and a kind of dread filled him, he did not want to deal with it anymore, things were becoming difficult to deal with and his impulses (particularly around spending money) were becoming too frequent and aggressive for him to ignore. He had no control over what happened, and decided that he would deal with issues as they arose. Of course this made him powerless to stop anything, and he did not know if he would feel overwhelmed, but he was sure that he would try. It might be a desperate effort, but it was an effort all the same.
Alistor got on the bus, or to be more accurate seemed to fall onto the bus. "That'll be two pound fifty" said the bus driver with a slight cough. He did not cover his mouth. Alistor rooted round in his pocket for the correct change. As he pulled all the money in his pocket out, he dropped it again. First his keys and now his money? What a start to the day. The bus driver stared at him with contempt and the other passengers on the bus looked at him with expressions that clearly stated that he was already holding up their day. He apologised to nobody in particular and threw himself down into the nearest vacant seat. He was mortified with himself for dropping his money, and wondered if he had picked up the same amount that he had dropped. He sat with his head held low and his eyes pointed at the floor. He did not want to attract any attention, certainly no more than he had attracted already.
He chose to listen to music, he did not know what he wanted to listen to so spent the next few minutes searching through his playlist to see if there was anything that happened to catch his attention. He settled on rock music and put it on a little too loudly, passengers sat near him gave him scandelised looks at how loud his music was. He was not going to turn it down, it drown out the sound of everything else. He realised too late where he was, he had not been paying attention, and jumped up and pressed the bell. The driver was clearly startled, and performed what could only be described as an emergency stop. Everyone was thrown forward in their seats. Alistor did not look around, but could feel the anger directed towards him, and he chose to jump off the bus as quickly as he could.
Alistor arrived at work feeling tired before he had even started. The first thing he did was to get himself a cup of coffee in the vain hope of waking himself up abit. He made himself a black coffee, and then debated whether that was even enough, he added a shot of espresso to it. It did not have the desired effect and instead made him jittery and feel unwell. It was not the ideal start to the day he had wanted. As usual, he had daydreamed of an entrance that was full of charisma, being greeted by everyone in the office and set to work like blazing inferno. Instead he was riddled with anxiety and wanted to go on his phone and watched videos on social media. He disappeared for a while, but nobody knew where he had gone. He put things off to the point of missing deadlines, and he had yesterdays work to do as well as todays. He did not feel like doing any of it. His daydream of entering intothe office full of love a charisma had gone up in flames, like it did do every day. He got out his notepad with things he needed to do, but it was so full of incomplete sentences that he did not know where to start, so put it on the side and forgot about it. He was finally ready to start work, but it was already ten o'Clock, so he had to rush for the rest of the day.
Alistor received an email. It was one of great importance. He looked at it as if in disbelief that someone required his help. He did not think he was clever or intelligent enough to receive emails of this importance. He did not know straight away the answer to the problem that had arisen. He decided that the best thing to do would be to leave the email until later. In the meantime he would give himself time to let the answer occur to him, he would also ask his superiors the correct way to deal with the issue. More accurately, he would distract himself with mindless issues that he could deal with and leave the email until it was too late then make his excuses as to why he did not get it. He made sure he was quiet as he left the office to make sure that nobody would stop him and potentially ask questions. The jittery feeling had worn off from his morning cup of coffee so he felt the best thing was to fill his system to the brim with caffiene again. He was a little tired, but more than anything, he felt sluggish and wanted that extra kick that caffiene promised.
Alistor was tired. He felt like he had not achieved much, and the aching feeling was because he had spent the day rushing from one task to another without really completing anything. His bones ached and he felt like he had worked non stop for a week. A yawn escaped his lips and caused his jaw to crack. His bus was still fifteen minutes away according to the electronic board. He reached for his phone in his pocket. He remembered that he had some games to catch up on that he had not done whilst he was at work. By the time that the bus arrived, his headache had gone from painful, to manic. He slumped onto the bus, and dropped his money again. He was too tired to care, picked up a few coins, and went and collapsed into the nearest vacant seat.
Alistor stepped though his front door and was ready to close it to the world. He took short strides to the fridge and grabbed a beer out. He opened it and with a sip reminiscent of a man in the desert drinking at an oasis, he let a groan escape his lips. He was not sure whether it was a groan of pleasure at the beer, a groan to accknowledge the aching of his joints or a groan at thinking how the day had been.
He vaguely wondered what he was going to have for tea. He opened the freezer and searched for things he didn't have. He eventually settled on a ready meal he could put in the microwave, he could not be bothered doing anything else. He settled down on the sofa and sat down with a reckless abandon and a groan that could have woken China up.
Alistor turned off the TV and walked through to his bedroom. He had been dozing already on the sofa so he knew that he was in for another restless sleep. He clambered into his unmade bed, pulled the sheets up to his chin, then remembered that he had not brushed his teeth. He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom and realised that was the best place for him right now, because he really needed the toilet. After he had emptied his bladder, marvelling at the amount it could hold, he wandered back to bed and crawled under the sheets again. He had still forgotten to brush his teeth, but that was now a job for tomorrow. He plugged his phone in because the battery was very nearly dead, and feeling that he was not quite ready to drop off to sleep, he started scrolling through videos on social media. Maybe an hour and a half later, he finally fell asleep, his snores would have woken the deepest sleeper, but he had nobody next to him to worry about.

A POSITIVE DAY

Felix was an organised man. He said what he meant and meant what he said, and though his delivery would appear forceful and direct if read as part of a transcript, people couldn't help but love him as his tone and voice had a masculine but entirely warm quality. He was definitely in charge, but he felt like just another of the boys. He wore his hair to the side and it fell with an elegant grace that matched his personality. His hair style never changed, but it didn't need to. He picked his clothes for the following day with attention, and made sure that they were clean and crisp as that helped him feel most relaxed and confident. He had struggled earlier in his life with confidence and routine, so he found this helped him be more prepared. He always fell asleep on his right side, he had read that sleeping on your right side can be an aid to digestion so it seemed to follow logically that he would have a better night sleep and therefore be more refreshed when he woke up. He listened to classical music mostly, but he was most interested in music that calmed him, just lately he had got into slow jazz and blues music and was keen for a chat with anybody that could recommend good music to him. Felix was currently asleep, he was peaceful and was about to wake.
He gently woke up at the usual time. He had no need for alarm clocks. He focussed immediately on his breathing. The source of his breath was his lungs, and as he took his first deep breath, a deep calm washed over him that was more warming than any duvet in existence. A 4 second deep breath in, followed by a 6 second deep breath out. He glanced at the clock, but there was no real need, he had gone to sleep at 10pm and woken at 6am for years, like clockwork. He gently sat up and, feeling alert and refreshed, He reached into his mini fridge next to his bed and there was a glass if cold water in it. He took the glass out and allowed himself two minutes of thinking whilst he sipped the water.
He thought about the upcoming day. He had to get the bus that was departing in approximately two and a half hours. He was in the mood to listen to classical music today, and the first song that was on his playlist was a song that reminded him of his childhood. Gripped slightly in the warm embrace of nostalgia, he rose from his bed and sank to the floor, push ups were first thing on his agenda. Reps of 10 would get him to 100, that was a pleasingly round number. Next were sit ups, he wanted to do 41 today. He asked himself why he wanted to do that oddly specific number. 41 is, of course, a prime number. He did 2 reps of 41, because of course 2 is the lowest prime number and that carried a certain symmetry to it. His theme of the day appeared to be the word 'prime'. The word 'prime' could be used in mathematics, but could also be used as both an adjective, to describe something that is most important, best, or highest quality; or it could be used as a noun, used to describe things such as the best period, such as 'the prime of life'. He was therefore going to ensure that he was both as flexible as the word, and give every task the 'prime' of his ability. Chuckling at his own wit, he thought that the sun would rise soon. He was lucky enough to have a window that faced in the direction of the sunrise. He went through to his spotlessly clean kitchen and made himself lovely breakfast. He made some whole grain toast and made a smoothie using forest fruits and some bananas for energy. He then settled himself in his chair to watch the sun rise whilst eating his toast and having his smoothie. He was now ready for his shower. His water was set for 39 degrees every day. He had been told before that this was best for his skin and overall comfort. It had never failed him, and it felt pleasant, so he had carried that on. He stepped out of his shower with the same energy every morning. He had got his blood going with morning exercise, had a good breakfast, had a shower and woken his immune system, and it was not even 7am yet.
He wrapped himself in his towel for comfort. His towel was incredibly soft, he could have happily stayed wrapped up here all day. He took a step to his right and faced the mirror, he looked at himself and out loud he said "today is going to be my day. There will be no big problems, and any tasks that arise I will meet with energy and enthusiam". He followed this up with a smile and made his way through to his bedroom. He had picked his clothes out the night before and they were hung up neatly on the door rack. He had picked out a white shirt and black tie and jacket. It was a classic look, and one that made him feel confident and fresh. His cufflinks contained his birthstone of tourmaline, and were blue in this case. He often looked at it and wondered if it was blue or green. It made him think of the differences between perception and language chosen by older civilisations. Besides, it added a fun bit of colour to an otherwise classic choice of shades. Once he was dressed, he got a pad and paper out and wrote down what he was likely to experience that day through work, and what were his most important tasks for the day. This helped him visualise how he was going to deal with each task, and prioritise the order that he was going to perform them. This helped calm him and made him feel like he was in control of the day. He made a point of not checking his phone anymore and not engaging with anything electrical as part of his morning routine. He used to do that but had grown sick and tired of being ordered onto the next part of his routine by a souless voice.
He strolled through to the kitchen and thought about tea. He got the mince out of the freezer and started cooking it. He then put it in the slow cooker with sauce, beans, and some chilli powder for a kick. That was his food ready for the evening so he did not have to think about it when he got home, plus it was a healthy choice. All he had to do was put some spaghetti with it and he would have a filling and delicious bolognese.
Before the bus arrived, he wanted to make sure that he had everything he needed, and that he was mentally prepared for the day ahead, and that he was ready for any challenges that the day threw at him. He chose not to listen to music, and instead he focussed on his breathing and made sure that he was calm and fully relaxed. He set himself a mental agenda, and talked himself through what he wanted to achieve, and how he was going to strategise for that. He made sure that he was early for the bus so it would give him enough time to accomplish this, and not be rushed.
Felix boarded the bus. "That'll be two pound fifty" said the bus driver, a small cough behind his hand. Felix already had the money ready and handed it over to the bus driver before taking his seat near the front of the bus. He sat with his head held high and his chest was forward in a confident feeling pose. He did not mind people stopping and staring at him, it happened often enough that he was not bothered. He chose not to lisen to music, and insead focused on the sounds that were around him. He overheard 3 seperate conversations, which were quite funny. He heard the bus driver cursing after missing his gear. He heard the splashing of the bus tyre going through the puddles on the road. He knew he was soon arriving at his destination and stood up early. His thoughts were that he could leave the seat clear, give the driver enough time to carefully slow down, and he would not be rushed when he did this. He had arrived peacefully, and his shirt was still white and pressed, he was calm.
Just before he got off the bus, he turned around and smiled in the vague direction of everybody. He never knew who needed the smile, but he wanted to help anybody start of the day with happiness.
Felix arrived at work fifteen minutes early in order to make time for greeting everyone and getting a drink ready for him to sit down and get ready for the day ahead.
When he got into the office, the first thing he did was sit with everyone to see how they were. He never wanted to talk about work, he just wanted to listen and show them that he cared. He was never bothered about the affection that was thrown at him, however he wanted to make sure that if there was kindness in the office that anybody needed, then he was always the one to provide it.
He turned his laptop on so he wouldn't have to waste time getting it started. He sat down and relaxed in his chair. he made sure that he had his water by by side and wanted to get through as much as he could today. He opened his notebook, it was clear and concise and told him exactly what he needed to do today; he opened it at the correct point to finish off his mental preparation, and was ready to start his working day.
Felix received an email. It was marked with high importance so he dealt with it straight away. He already knew the answer, but thought it would be a learning experience for one of the newer members of staff. He called over Timothy, he had just started but seemed to have the right attitude on learning how to do his job and he seemed to want to know more. He opened the email and gave Timothy ample time to read it, he did not want to rush him and made sure that he understood the situation. He then asked Timothy how he would deal with the situation, and was impressed with the answer he got. They had a discussion about it to ensure that they had arrived at the correct conclusion. He then went and informed his superiors so everyone knew the situation. He then started typing rapidly at his laptop to reply. He reread it to make sure that he was clear in his assistance, and added some instructions that occured to him and sent the email back. All this was done in the space of five minutes. He made sure he thanked Timothy for his contribution then went back to what he was doing.
Felix sat waiting for his bus. He was still full of energy, and decided to make a mental list of what he wanted to do when he got home. While waiting for the bus he wanted to people watch and guess what they did. He saw a young man pass and guessed that he was training to become a doctor. He guessed that because the man was well dressed, apologised to a woman for accidently bumping into her therefore showing a caring nature. He guessed that the next man that passed was a carer, he arrived at this conclusion because whilst the man did not have expensive looking clothes on, he wore a happy and inviting smile. He never knew if he was right with any of his guesses, but it made him smile to imagine.
He had a book that he could not wait to finish reading, he only had a few pages left to read and wanted to finish it tonight. He planned to read the rest whilst getting a nice hot bath. That sounded like a good plan, and getting his mind lost in a good book was one of his favourite ways to pass the time.
Felix arrived home and put his keys in the same place he always put them so that he could easily find them the next day. His food was already cooked and was ready to serve up, his kitchen smelled of all the spices he had used, his mouth was already watering thinking of the food he was going to eat.
He set the table for himself, and then started preparing the spaghetti ready to go with his bolognese. He turned on his TV for an hour, he enjoyed getting lost in fantasy while he ate.
Felix had enjoyed his meal, his stomach had already set to work on digesting it. Playful noises and pleasant feelings meant that he enjoyed his food. He glanced at his watch, the time was already half past seven! He turned his music to something far more relaxing and gentle on his ears. He made his way though to the bathroom to go run himself a nice hot bath. He added some relaxing herbal muscle soak into the bath, and could not wait to start reading his book again. He turned the lights low and while waiting or the bath to run, he walked though to his bedroom and started doing some exercises. This would help him to sleep, aid his digestion and the gentle sweat that he worked up could be cleaned in the bath. He thought that the first thing he wanted to do was to do some push ups. He did not want to push himself too hard tonight, so decided to cut it down to only fifty. Then he wanted to do some sit ups. He felt that this made him look moderately acceptable in his swim shorts, but again he did not want to push himself so only did fifty. Next came the lunges, these were designed to create a tension and build his legs, but also served as a type of stetch, keeping him supple and ready to face whatever challenges came his way. He finished his workout in perfect time for the bath finishing.
Before he finally climbed into his neat, well-made bed, he plugged his phone in halfway across the room to make sure that it did not disturb him, and less than ten minutes later, he was asleep. He would be happily refreshed for the next day.