Universal Gandhi

Universal Gandhi (4min read)

"My friend Steve lives in an old folks home, just across the street," blurted Andie after he guzzled his Tall coffee. Pouring the steaming hot coffee down his throat would have normally produce a severe scalding (and screams), but but it didn't phase him one bit.

" Is it a good time to go?" asked Craz.

"Yeah, it's suppertime," Andrew informed incorrectly, for it was 2pm and going at dinnertime was generally frowned upon at retirement homes.

Craz decided not to correct him, for mid afternoon is a good time to visit. "Okay we'll go once I finish my coffee. I see you should probably get another one, do you have wax in your throat or something?"

"I built up a tolerance. Caffeine absorbs better at higher temperatures," he openly admitted (to caffeine addiction). He took the same approach to other addictions, maximizing effect of whatever legal substance it may be.

"Why aren't you dead yet?"

---------------------------

Steve Barnet lit up a smoke in his room (a common area converted to a bedroom). Quietly contemplating nothing, he took a drag. There were no doors to the room, just partitioned off. So we simply walked in unabated. Steve gave no surprise, but acknowledged us nonetheless.

"Hey Steve, you're living in a fortress!" Andie exclaimed.

"Nesh cran part forty dollars a a month," Mr Barnet mumbled back, "go for a coffee?“ he asked clear as day.

"We were just..." Andie started before Craz's hand muffled his mouth.

"Thinking of going for a cup a joe," Craz interjected.

Andie was onboard. "We were in the area and thought you might want to go for a coffee Steven."

Steve paused, and turned his head revealing a big welt on the side of his forehead. Wondering what the story behind it was, without being intrusive, asked Andie out of earshot from Steve.

"neoNazis kicked the shit out of him downtown, he has severe brain damage from it," Andie informed his friend.

"Neurological damage," Craz observed.

"His memory don't work so good, and he has schizophrenia," Andie replied,"but he already had schizophrenia."

Mr Barnett rolled a smoke standing up (an absolute mastery) a spoke softly & frankly, "I'm not mad at them."

"Can we take you out for coffee Steve?" Craz formally proposed.

Steven exited his room without a word to the surprise of Craz, getting a bodycheck in the process. Andie remained deadpanned as of it was normal. Maybe it was.

Only moments later Steve returned with a large tracking device in hand. "I have a half hour," is all he said

An aide appeared in the doorway. "He can only go to the Starbucks across the street, understood?"

"Understood," Andie and Craz replied in unison.

Already smoking in the courtyard, Steve had his head down, making careful steps towards the sidewalk. Craz caught up quickly, for Steve was heading onto the road. A sudden veer from Steven had him in front of oncoming traffic. Craz stepped in front of the Volkswagen heading down the turning lane, Steve's lane. The vehicle stopped and Craz guided his friend onto the sidewalk, and waved to the driver.

"Mine!" Andie yelled.

Craz was confused. Then Andie bent down and picked up a nice juicy cigarette butt from the sidewalk. Apparently he was claiming it. 'Why did he have more concern over that than his wandering friend almost getting hurt?' thought Craz, but had to let it go for now.

"Mr Steven Barnett, you have to be more aware. Stay on the sidewalk for everyone's sake," Craz reasoned with him, without asking him why. The why didn't matter in the immediate. "We have to cross the street now, stay in the crosswalk."

But Steve hadn't moved even a bit. Oddly, ants were crawling all over him, standing next to an ant hill. A perplexed Craz turned to Andie for help on the matter.

"He won't step on ants, or kill anything, he says he doesn't kill anything cause there's no need to. Everything can live in perfect harmony if everything would follow that rule," Andie clarified the why.

Craz mulled it over, how can I stop this behaviour? Surely we cannot live in that kind of utopia, his philosophy is errored. What can I do to prevent him from resorting to his ill thinking? "Science!" he voiced.

The three entered the Starbucks. Steve was the first to order, then Andie (both having difficulties with it). Craz reserved a table, but Steve elected to sit elsewhere. As if it was normal procedure, Andie sat at yet another table. Steve began to roll a smoke, and sipped on his coffee while doing so. Andie and Craz joined him, as a faint prospect of logic finally appeared.

"Steve. You know how you don't step on ants and believe that we're not supposed to kill anything? Craz began.

Steve nodded yes.

"There are microscopic lifeforms everywhere. In the air, in your food, inside of you, and there are trillions. In fact in every breath we take, millions of organisms that are alive are killed by our body's defences. We have to breathe, so there's no way to avoid....," Craz suddenly stopped, for he noticed Steve was holding his breath.

Alarmed, Craz's thoughts went into overdrive. Why Did he stop breathing? Surely it couldn't be from my explanation. But it was. How do I fix this before he dies of suffocation? He may be able to bypass the instinct to draw air, he's a special case. Science got us into this trouble, and science will get us out. In an instant all these questions raced in Craz's mind, for Steve refused to draw a breath.

"It was a joke Steve, I'm lying to you. You have to breathe. There's no magical microscopic life forms. If you die it's on me. Understand?"

Steve nodded, but continued to hold his breath.

Andie suddenly tackled Steve right off his chair, and it forced him to gasp. Science prevails once again. Friendship as well. But the the stubbornly ill man held his breath once again, the delusion was strong.

"I lied to you Steve, I'm sorry," Craz sheepishly admitted the untruth.

"Steve finally started breathing and spoke up."Why would you lie to me? You just met me. You're not a good person and I don't want to be your friend. And Andie, pick your friends better."

Andie and Craz gaped with guilt. Steve's tone was chilling. He finished rolling a smoke and promptly left. Still concerned, they followed him. He was walking in the opposite direction of the home, until a piercing alarm started off. Steve's proximity pager.

The squelch went straight to Andie's brain, disorienting him in the process. "Mine!", Andie yelled, bending down to pick up another butt, but he was struck by an SUV. His head endured an impact that broke every bone in his face. Unconscious, he began to convulse.

Steve double back to help his friend, where Craz was calling for emergency assistance. The aide from the seniors home arrived in response to the pager alarm, and took control of the scene.

"Did you call 911 already? Oh, I see you're on the line with them. Help me get him off the road. Is it Craz?" aide Melinda questioned.

"Yeah."

They not so carefully moved Andie onto the sidewalk, he was unconscious. Still, his breathing was laboured. 'At least he was breathing,' passed through everyone's minds.

Police arrived first. The constable asked if they got the plates of the vehicle that hit him.

"3L6 E5A," Steve recited,"23 expiry."

The officer was astonished, and reported it to the station. He then questioned them, and established his case. An ambulance pulled up, and constable Mitchell talked to them, giving them the details as they tended to Andie.

"Don't turn him on his side," Steven suddenly spoke.

"What? Why?" the medics asked, almost in unison.

"Wouldn't be good," Steve simply stated.

The male medic mumbled, "whatever." They lifted him up onto the gurney board, belly side up. Then on into the ambulance, the unconscious man was barely breathing. To induce better respiration they turned him on his side, standard procedure. But it only produce a ball of blood Andie blasted out of his mouth, his last act.

Steve lit a smoke.