When can you start?

“When can you start?”

“Where do you see yourself in five hundred years?”

“What do you bring to the table? By that we mean, what can you provide for our people in return for the faith and devotional worship?”

“Can you tell us about a time when you went above and beyond for one of your followers?”

“Can you tell us about a time when you failed to deliver on a prayer from a faithful soul?”

“Do you need a temple built or could our people have small altars in their homes?”

“What are your customs and practices like?”

“Do you require sacrifices and, if so, would they be human or animal?”

“Would you be okay with offerings as an alternative?”

The small God shuffled in their seat. In their hands they fidgeted with an icon, a crook to lead and protect the flock. It looked small and more decorative than anything else. Torbek, who had smithed hundreds of farming tools for generations of towns folk, eyed it with critical squint.

“Couldn’t do much with that” he muttered

Mya smiled the practised smile of years spent as a school mistress and spoke.

“We’ll let you know.”

The God of livestock and wheat sheaves shifted off the small wooden stool and gave a little bow to the panel before leaving the chamber.

“I liked that one.” said Robin

Robin was a fisherman. He spent days at sea hauling in nets and pots, fighting waves and sometimes sea beasts to bring home his catch. He was also annoyingly positive all the time.

“You like everyone.” said Tordek

“A god of livestock could be very good for us.”

“I just feel like we could do better. We are a blossoming culture. I foresee us having many generations to worship whichever deity we choose so, let’s get a good one. Or, and I know I said this already, a few gods. Our own pantheon.”

Mya was carving notes into a soft clay tablet with a small, triangular stylus. Robin leaned over to to see what she was doing. Mya looked up to see the two of them looking at her.

“What?” she asked

“What do you think of that guy, the God of sheep and ship leaves?” asked Robin

“Wheat sheaves.” said Tordek

Mya spun her tablet around to show them her notes as she spoke.

“Here is how they compare to the others we have seen today, now I think-”

“Yeah, I can’t read.” said Tordek

“I know some of those shapes.” said Robin

Mya laid her tablet down on the table.

“They are a pretty good candidate but I’d like to talk to some more. Also, Tordek, we can’t have a pantheon.”

Tordek screwed up his face in confusion.

“Why not?”

“For one thing, I don’t think we can afford it.” said Mya “Any and all Gods we pick will require worship and sacrifice and offerings. We are a village of farmers and fisherfolk and a pantheon sounds like a lot of work.”

She waved to the cherub that was floating in the corner. It was an absurd childlike creature with four wings. As it turned it fumbled and dropped the pomegranate seeds it had been eating. Unconcerned it turned it’s wide, creepy doll eyes towards the group.

“Could we get the next candidate in, please?” asked Mya

As the cherub drifted over to the door of the chamber, it’s four eagle wings working in spasmodic rhythms to keep it afloat, they heard shouting from out in the corridor. The door to the chamber burst open and Taehaeva marched in. Being the God of Light and Dark they threw shadows and shafts of sunlight all around them as they moved. They were completely made of light and shadow, being formless and ever changing. A shifting miasma of forms. Currently their form looked upset.

“You dare!?”

The voice was like a winter wind through the trees.

It was Mya who spoke back.

“Taehaeva, how nice to see you. How long has it been?”

Her tone was another school mistress classic. Asking questions to which she already knew the answer to watch the child incriminate themselves.

“You think my glory so easily exchanged, mortal?” said Taehaeva

“Your glory has seen us with rotting crops and empty nets for the last twenty seasons!”

Taehaeva was uncharacteristically quiet. Light and dark shifted over the amorphous form before them.

“Your glory, has been absent from our lands for many a year.”

Tordek shifted in his seat, trying to distance himself from Mya. He had heard enough about the wrath of Gods to make him cautious. Mya, on the other hand, seemed to have this God scaled and filleted.

“We prayed to you! We made offerings! We celebrated your name and held it sacred in our hearts. We told stories to our children of how you walked the boundaries between the darkness and the light. How you maintained order and balance. When the dark times came we accepted them. We knew that if we held firm the darkness would give way to the light, as it must do because you command it so.”

Mya paused and let out a sigh. The voice of Taehaeva was a breeze in the river reeds.

“It was a test.” It said “And you failed.”

Mya felt her anger rise again.

“Oh? Did we? Then punish us!”

Mya had moved around the small wooden table and now stood before her old God, arms crossed and teeth bared. When recounting the tale later Robin would swear he could see steam emitting from her ears.

“Go on!” she chided “Smite me!”

The moment stretched out for what seemed like an eternity. The Gods in attendance were fine with this. The sound of wind whistling down a chimney filled the room blocking out all other noise.

“Say goodbye to everything you know and love” said Taehaeva

“We destroyed your temple years ago and all your shrines are gone, we went door to door.”

The ever-shifting form bristled for a moment. It hung in the air brooding as the sunbeams were replaced with more and more shadow. The chamber grew dim as the darkness began absorbing every scrap of light around it. Robin and Tordek shrank back from the increasing mass of shadows but Mya stood her ground.

“OH, GIVE OVER!!” she yelled

The harsh snap of her voice seeming to knock every one out of the trance. The rapidly darkening form drifted over into a corner of the room and merged with the shadows there. As light slowly returned to the room, Mya picked up an oil lamp and moved it into the corner where Taehaeva had vanished, the tiny flame clung to the wick as it moved giving off thick waxy smoke. She was infuriated but she wasn’t stupid.

Returning to the table and sitting down Mya gathered up her tablet and tried to compose herself. Robin and Tordek were feeling a little sheepish as they followed suit and joined Mya at the table. The Cherub was still floating by the door and seemed unsure of what to do.

“Could you send in the next candidate please?” said Mya