where do you put it?

His heart was loudly beating, it was tightening up, his breath, seizing. He was  trying to grasp  a normal breath, as he approached.

Beyond frightened, afraid of ridicule, terrified of humiliating rejection he steeled himself.

She sat poised at a library table.

‘How uniquely beautiful’, he caught himself thinking.

She was, absorbed in the papers she was reading. 

He turned away….a sudden complete 180 degree turn.

‘Need to breathe….need to breathe’, pounded through his head.

Struggling to reach the zen-like state that he had been practising, he drew himself up, once more. With a steely resolve, he turned back, his sweaty palms gripping the yellow rose he had brought. For her.

She was gone! 

How could she be gone? She was just there……’Oh God!’, ‘I can’t ever do this again - I’ll never find the courage….’

Eyes smarting with tears and  angry at himself, his cowardice….. his fears
he stepped to the side, leaning himself - propping himself up against the end of the stacks……

‘Hey! Careful there….’

He turned quickly.

There - there she was, standing, pencil clamped between her teeth, a raft of papers in one hand and an open book in the other….

….and wrapped about the pencil, the blossoming of a smile.

And the eyes, violet, sparking……

‘OhMYGod!’, he blurted out. He thought he had burbled it inside his
swelling brain.

But no….

Immediately concerned she took the pencil from between her teeth, reached out to steady him.

‘Are you okay”, she asked?

From somewhere, from some place way deep inside, he knew this was the moment. 

He straightened - pulled himself more upright. Found a smile and watched it drift towards her.

‘Yes, yes…sorry. Sorry to disturb you.’

‘No - it’s okay’, she said, reaching out with a helping hand.

‘But, but – and I’m so sorry - I have a question for you’, extending the yellow rose towards her…….

Completely baffled, confused, she looked into his eyes, while tentatively reaching for the sunshine of the flower….

‘Yes, of course, what is it?’,  she asked with the whisper of a smile. ‘Did you want to ask me something?’

‘I did - I mean I do…… and I apologize for intruding. But I have noticed
you these past weeks,  around campus, and I have been meaning to ask you this….’

He paused, again, uncertain as to whether he should continue. 

He took a deep breath releasing the rose into her hand. ‘Where do you put it?’

Puzzled and slightly uncertain, she stared at him.

‘Where do I put what?’, she asked.

‘My breath’, he replied, the rush of words tumbling from him. ‘Where do you put my breath?’ Feeling out of control, he rushed,  ‘Cause every time I see you, every time - you take my breath away……and I wander about, wondering, ‘When will I see her again, and will she ever give it back - to me?’

A radiance exploded into a dazzling smile.

‘How ever so sweet!’, she said. 


She glanced down towards the floor, then raised her head to look, 
laser-like into his eyes.

He was now, holding his breath – waiting.

‘Tell you what… Let me think on that and I’ll try to give you an answer the next time that we get together.’

He smiled hesitatingly, sweating – hopeful, uncertain. His hands, clammy, his eyes felt like an unwelcome grit had now settled there.

He watched, tense, fearful as she raised her gaze from the floor to look directly at him.

Then gently and softly, smiling like a sunbeam through the treetops, she paused, then said, ‘There will be a next time won’t there?’