You Both Love Tuna

My life had been going great ever since I rescued Ginger. Ginger was a stray short-haired tabby I found a month ago that was, shockingly, ginger. I never was very good with names. 

I found Ginger near a dumpster behind my flat. She was beautiful and really friendly. I assumed that she belonged to someone. But after seeing her for a few days, I realised she must have been homeless. So I took her in. 

A few weeks later, I met my girlfriend, Lauren. Lauren was beautiful with long red hair and a fantastic smile. We hit it off right away. She made me laugh, made me feel confident and just seemed to know me already. 

After a few dates, Lauren came over. I was so excited to introduce her to Ginger. I had told Lauren all about her. How she liked to sleep in the sunbeams that hit the sofa and how she liked to be scratched behind the ears. But when we got home, Ginger was nowhere to be found. 

“I’m sorry, she must have gone outside,” I said disappointedly. 

“Oh don’t worry, there will be plenty of time for me to make friends with Ginger,” Lauren replied with a smile. 

So we settled in for the evening. 

The next day I was tidying up the flat and I found one of Lauren’s hairs on the sofa, amongst some of Ginger’s cat hair. I was surprised to notice that they were the same colour. In fact, if it wasn’t for the length, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them apart. 

“Huh, maybe that’s why I can never get them together,” I said to myself. “They must be the same person.” I laughed as I brushed the hair off the sofa. 

The next night, Lauren and I were out for dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. 

“Anything catching your eye?” I asked as we glanced over our menus. 

“Oh, I’m not sure. Nothing is, oh!” Lauren broke off mid-sentence and excitedly turned the menu over to show me what she was pointing at. 

“Tuna Steak?” I asked as I looked at where she was pointing. 

“Yes! I love Tuna. It’s my favourite,” Lauren replied with a smile. 

“Sounds like a good choice then.” Lauren grinned at me and put her menu down. 

“You know, Tuna is Ginger's favourite too,” I said over my own menu. 

“She has great taste,” replied Lauren. 

“I wonder what else the two of you have in common?” I asked sheepishly. 

“Oh, plenty I’m sure. We are both fond of you after all.” Lauren grinned at me. 

Before I could reply, our waiter approached the table and asked for our drink orders. Before I could say anything Lauren asked “I suppose asking for a glass of milk would be weird?”. 

I knew how crazy it was, but I couldn’t shake the weird feeling I had. Why couldn’t I find Ginger whenever Lauren was over? Every time I managed to talk myself into a rational explanation, something else strange would happen. 

It was Sunday afternoon and Lauren had come over to spend the day together. I had gone out to pick up ingredients for dinner and when I returned home I found Lauren asleep on the sofa. The thing was, she was in Ginger’s favourite spot, with the sun bathing her as it came through the window. And I couldn’t shake the realisation that Lauren has the same satisfied look on her face that Ginger would get in the same spot. Even down to the same smile with just a bit of teeth showing. 

I felt like I was going crazy. It had been two weeks and I hadn’t been able to get Ginger and Lauren in the flat at the same time. I had even tried leaving food out for Ginger. Tuna, her favourite. To make matters worse, I was sure I had seen Lauren eyeing it while licking her lips.

This evening, Lauren had come over to watch a movie. We were sitting on the sofa together with Lauren leaning into me with my arm around her. As we watched the film I tried to take my mind off my irrational worries. Absent-mindedly, I started to stroke Lauren’s hair. She let out a happy sigh as she got more comfortable. As she moved, my hand brushed the back of her ear. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” said Lauren. 

I started to stroke her hair behind her ear. And as I did it, I heard a weird sound coming from Lauren. A sound that could only be described as purring. 

I jumped up from the sofa. 

“What’s wrong?” Asked Lauren as she sat up. 

“You. You’re purring,” I stuttered out. 

“What?” The bewildered look on Lauren’s face didn’t reassure me. 

“You’re purring like a cat. Like Ginger!” I said accusatorily.  

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise. I was just so relaxed. Come sit down.”

“No. I need you to tell me the truth. Are you a cat? Are you my cat?” I asked. 

“What?” Lauren started to laugh. “You think I’m a cat?”

“Well, why is Ginger always gone when you are here? And how come you never reply to my messages when Ginger is with me?” I asked. “You both love Tuna. And sleeping on the sofa in the sun. And, and, you are both ginger.” I trailed off. Lauren was looking at me with a bemused look on her face. 

“Are you ok?” She asked. 

“I, um, I’m not sure. I think I might go for a walk. Clear my head.” My face felt hot and red as the embarrassment set in. I turned and headed to the door and stepped out into the street. 

What was I thinking? That my girlfriend was my cat? She is going to think I am insane. I had ruined everything.

I was heading back to apologise and try and explain everything. As I walked in I saw Lauren standing with her back towards me. 

“Lauren, I am so sorry. Please let me explain everything.” 

As she turned, I noticed she had Ginger in her arms, purring away as Lauren scratched behind her ears. 

“Look who finally came to say hi,” Lauren said. “So, still think I’m your cat?” Lauren asked while raising an eyebrow as I smiled meekly.