Big Boots

I opened my eyes. I found myself lying on my back, every part of my body aching or worse. There was a tremendous pain emanating from my chest, so much so every breath in and out was agony.
I didn't know how long I'd been asleep on this wet, grass floor; clearly long enough for the sun to have set and darkness surround me. My clothes and hair felt cold and damp as though I’d just run a marathon.
I tried to recall what had led me to this position, but my mind seemed to be absent of any detail. I closed my eyes in order to mind’s eye, but a glorious red blanket covered my memory with vague silhouettes of shapes beneath a scarlet filter.
As the pain in my chest started to subside, I raised myself into a seated position. It was too dark to identify where I was; I could feel the grass beneath me indicating I was in some sort of field and the breeze on my face suggested a wide open space.
A thought sprang to my mind; not so much of an image, but more of a collection of senses. I could feel the pressure against my chest walking into the cool breeze, the weariness in my legs walking up the gradient of a steep hill, and the sound of my walking boots pressing onto the soft ground. There was a smell of wet grass, had it recently rained? Had the grass been cut?
My memory felt vague, but with very specific details starting to become clear. I remembered that I had been walking in the late evening, that I had been dressed for the cool autumn weather with walking boots, coat and combat trousers.
Suddenly it occurred to me that I hadn't been alone. As I sat in the darkness, I felt a certain emptiness that came from my solitude. It was as I contemplated this loneliness that I realised that when I embarked on my journey I had done so in the company of another. I couldn't visualise them, but I had a sense of warmth, that their presence had a deeper meaning and in turn their absence now accentuated the cold, empty void I could feel from within.
Despite still wearing my coat, the air around me felt as though it was getting colder. The dampness of my clothes pressed against my skin causing me to shiver. I knew I needed to get up onto my feet, only by doing so would I have a chance of properly recounting me steps and recalling what had brought me to the place where I now found myself.
Of all the aches and pains in my body, it was my thighs that now issued the biggest complaint as I hauled myself up to my feet. I straightened my back and raised my head, a bright light shone like a huge torch directly above me. It was as though I had risen above a low mist which had impaired my vision and could now see the full moon in all its glory, shining over the field in which I was stood.
I looked around me, my exact position still felt unfamiliar. There were trees to my right, no more than ten metres away and to my left a steep hill leading down towards a cluster of tiny yellow lights at the bottom. The mist still obscured the area around my feet, but I could see what appeared to be a pathway just a little away from me leading towards the trees.
I knew if I was going to rediscover my bearings I needed to start moving. The smart thing to do would be to retrace my steps which would likely involve walking back down the hill, but something inside was telling me to follow the path into the trees. Perhaps my companion had gone that way, maybe they had gone to seek help when I fell.
The wooded area was dark and foreboding, not particularly welcoming. There seemed little chance that they had taken that direction in the anticipation of finding assistance, but I was certain that they had ventured into the trees and therefore I knew that was also where I had to go. I felt certain there were answers within the darkness.
That is where he had gone. It was a he, my companion who had disappeared into the trees was male, I was certain of it. He was also much younger than I. It occurred to me that he wasn't just a friend as I had first considered, but that there was more of a protective type of relationship. Had I been designated with the task to keep whoever it was safe? Was I some form of guardian or even a parent? How could I not recall such a significant detail about my life?
I found myself becoming irritated with my lack of clarity, with my own failing brain, with the situation I was in. “Think, think, think.” I muttered to myself angrily, hitting my forehead with my knuckles.
That's when I first heard the footsteps. Like huge, industrial boots stamping on a concrete floor. The sound was faint, as though from a great distance away, but approaching at a steady pace. Each stomp shook my insides and somehow I knew that as the volume increased, so did the threat of danger.
My thoughts turned to worry. I knew I had no time to delay. What if some tragic occurrence had befallen my dependent, all because of me? Despite the discomfort in my legs, I knew I needed to make haste and hope my memory would return to me as I journeyed on. I needed to find Watson!

Watson! That was his name. I couldn't quite picture him, but I could hear myself calling his name. I started to recall that he was much smaller, younger and faster than I as I entered the wooded area.
We had started this walk together from the bottom of the hill, the same walk we had taken on multiple occasions before. Perhaps one of the reasons I was struggling to visualise specific details was owing to the frequency of identical visits, I was struggling to differentiate past experiences from the all important last outing.
As I tried to picture Watson’s face, all I could see was hair, thick black hair. No eyes, nose or mouth, it was as though he had no discernible facial features at all.
Trying to picture Watson’s face I felt myself lose my footing as I stumbled over a root in the ground. The mist that covered the ground beneath me still obscured my view from such obstacles as roots and fallen branches.
I managed to steady myself mid stumble in time to stop myself from landing face first on the floor. Despite the lack of visibility or other people in the vicinity, I still attempted to style out my stumble to appear like I'd broken into a quick, spontaneous jog for a brief couple of steps.
As I composed myself, I felt a strange itchy feeling in my ear. I attempted to scratch it with the tip of my finger which provided some relief from the discomfort. I could still hear the heavy footsteps in the distance drawing closer, somehow I knew whoever it was, was coming for me. I needed to move on.
I continued deeper into the wooded area, amongst the trees. The moonlight shone through the branches indicating a pathway through the trees. It was then that I heard a barking sound coming from deeper into the woods. I had a sudden urge to pull back, not out of fear for myself, but a more parental instinct. Was the barking connected with the footsteps? Possibly warming me of an impending danger?
I didn't want to wait to find out, I still had to find Watson. As I ventured further forward, the density of trees increased, the moonlight dimmed and the footsteps behind me got louder and closer. The itch in my ear returned, again I used the tip of my finger to gently scratch away the irritation as I walked.
The barking echoed around the entire wooded area, however, the further into the trees I walked, the louder it grew, and the more convinced I became that this was the direction I needed to go. I became so immersed in the barking, I didn't notice the narrow stream that ran through the trees and across the path.
The first thing I knew of it was the freezing cold sensation as my foot plunged deep into the water. For a few seconds I paused in mid step, ice cold water flowing over my ankle. The sound of barking suddenly ceased as did the footsteps, there was silence as if to allow me the opportunity to consider my situation.
I lifted my leg from the stream and onto the grassy bank. I felt a stinging sensation around my toes, which is when I realised that my feet were bare. I could have sworn that I'd been wearing walking boots, but I could now feel the grass beneath the soles of my feet. There was no barrier between my skin and the grass, not even socks.
I reached down to my soaked right foot to where it felt as though someone was jabbing tiny pins into my skin. I could feel something soft and skinny wrapped around my toes, like a sticky piece of string I pulled at the object.
It did not come away easily. I gripped it tightly and pulled again, it felt like I was ripping the skin from my feet. Finally it peeled off. I held up the object against the faint moonlight. It looked like an ordinary earthworm, now wriggling between my fingers.
I couldn't understand what had caused the pain in my toes when I’d removed the worm, it felt as though the creature had been hanging on with its teeth, and yet I knew all too well that was insane.
I attempted to examine my foot, but the lack of light made it impossible to do so. There didn't appear to be any significant harm caused, although the area around the toes remained rather tender.
Once again my ear started to itch, it was becoming increasingly irritating. In the hope of alleviating this problem once and for all, I stuck my little finger a little deeper than I had done previously. To my surprise I came across an unexpected obstruction. There was something in my ear, something that wasn't supposed to be there.
Carefully I attempted to sweep the object out with the tip of my finger. It was wet and slippery, almost impossible to achieve any kind of purchase on it.
The sound of the footsteps behind me restated, but they were louder this time and still increasing in volume.
I finally managed to get my finger sufficiently underneath the object in my ear to start pulling it out. Whatever it was, it was long and thin and had seemingly submerged itself quite deep it my ear. I gently teased it out only to realise it was another earthworm. Instantly I dropped it on the floor in shock. How long had that been in my ear? How had it got there?
My head started to itch at the thought of the worm slithering it's way into my ear. What if there were more that I wasn’t aware of?
I scratched my head as I considered how the worm might have got there. The scratching didn't seem to ease my discomfort, so I sunk in my nails a little harder. I felt the hair starting to come out in my nails; just individual hairs at first, but as the itchiness intensified so did the strength of my scratching and individual hairs became clumps falling out in my hands.
I brought my hands forwards to examine their contents and as opposed to the expected hair, my palms were covered in worms. Long, slimy earthworms sliding between my fingers.
I raised my hands and could feel even more worms slithering over my head. I could even feel them start to slide down the side of my face. I felt another itch in my ear. I grabbed at the worms on my head frantically, pulling them off and throwing them to the side. As I did so, the sound of the footsteps continued to grow louder.
Panic started to fill my body. No matter how many worms I removed, there were more in their place. I started to feel sick, I bent over as I started to wretch involuntarily. To my disgust I felt myself vomit into the grass at my feet. I could see the wiggly movements of even more worms that had been produced from my own sick.
I wretched again at the thought of there being worms inside my mouth or my stomach. Again I vomited onto the floor in front of me, this time I even felt the worms sliding out of my mouth. After the second time there was one still on my tongue and I quickly removed it, throwing it to the ground.
As I stood, bent over, breathing heavily and staring at the wriggling grass by my feet, something flashed past me in my peripheral vision. It was small and black making its way towards the entrance of the woods. It was Watson, I was sure if it. I was certain his lead was still attached and had been dragging on the ground behind him as he passed me by.
I immediately turned around to see a bright yellow light now lighting up the entrance to the wooded area. And the footsteps continued to increase in volume.

The sound of the footsteps was growing louder and now I was running straight towards them. It had only felt like a matter of seconds walking into the woods, but despite running, it seemed to take forever to reach the exit.
As I ran, the exit seemed to be getting further away, the faster I ran the further the exit appeared to be. I glanced either side of me and saw the trees passing by in a blur as though I was traveling at a hundred miles an hour. I had never run as fast as this in my life and yet the target continued to look as though it was getting further away.
Feeling exhausted I had to stop. My forehead and armpits were pouring with sweat; my chest started to feel really tight as though I was wearing a corset which was being tightened. The soles of my bare feet felt as though they were on fire, had I have still been stood by the stream I would have jumped in to cool myself down.
I bent over to catch my breath. With my hands resting on my thighs, I inhaled a lung full of cool air. The sound of footsteps was now echoing all around me, whoever it was that was chasing after me was close.
I looked up just in time to see Watson disappear through the trees into the yellow light ahead. I could see his tail in the air and what looked like his lead dangling at his side. The sight of my pet dog gave me a sudden burst of energy and purpose.
I managed to pick up the pace quickly and started to see the exit drawing closer, but there was something not right, I felt an intense heat coming from behind me. I turned my head to see the trees behind me a blaze. Huge flames were engulfing the wooded area behind me, thick black smoke was rising into the sky.
I quickened my pace as I saw the smoke start to surround me. Ahead, a bright yellow light indicated the exit, it was drawing closer and closer but so were the flames with the trees either side of me catching light like rows of matches.
Finally, I reached the end, but was now surrounded by flames. Seeing an opportunity I leapt through a small gap in the flames and landed face first on the wet grass in the open field where I had first found myself. I didn't dare look behind me, I could only imagine the huge inferno that was engulfing all those trees that had stood there for so many years.
Ahead of me I saw a multitude of yellow lights at the bottom of the hill. I then saw Watson. He was not far away, seemingly sniffing at something on the floor. His tail was wagging furiously, he had clearly found something that had excited him; possibly a dead rabbit, or maybe even a mole or rat that had attempted to escape down a hole in the ground.
As I watched Watson I realised he was fussing an object of some kind on the ground, something of a considerable size. Had it been a rat or rabbit or something similar he would have been leaping about, throwing it into the air the way he played with his toys. But he wasn't doing anything like that, instead he was lying with his chest low and back legs straight – in a bow position – and looked like he was trying to use his nose to move something or dislodge it.
I approached with caution. Watson’s lead was hanging down by his side and I didn't want to surprise him causing him to run off again. Perhaps that is what had happened earlier this evening. Possibly something had excited Watson causing him to pull me over and knocking me unconscious as I hit the ground. That would have resulted in me releasing the lead and Watson running to the trees.
But what was he up to now? And why hadn't he noticed me earlier when he passed by me in the trees?
Watson was less than a couple of metres from me and still I couldn't see what he was fussing with. Whatever it was, it had his undivided attention; so much so he didn't notice me walk up beside him. Unfortunately the mist covering the ground was still restricting my view of what Watson was concentrating on, but I could make out a rough shape which seemed about six foot in length – a similar size and shape to a grown man.
Watson stopped his fussing and turned to me. That was when the sound of the footsteps stopped, and there was silence.
“Hello boy, what have you been up to?” I asked.
Watson stared at me for a second, he had a puzzled look on his face as though he didn't recognise me. Initially his tail was wagging, but it had stopped and was now between his legs like he was scared of something. His shoulders hunched and he began to bark.
Watson was barking at me and very slowly backing away. I couldn't understand what was wrong with him; he'd always been an affectionate dog, so why was he acting as though he didn't know me?
Before I could attempt to grab his lead I heard a voice.
“Dad? Is that you?”
The voice was familiar to me and had come from behind, down the hill. As I turned around I saw the silhouette of a woman, haloed by a bright yellow light. She was approaching me quickly as were a number of other silhouettes on either side of her.
“Dad? Dad! Can you hear me?” The voice was growing in panic. I recognised the voice, it was my daughter Leanne. I turned around to respond to her, but she ran straight past me and leant over the object on the ground.
Somebody attempted to grab hold of Watson, but he seemed to be hysterical; leaping from person to person, barking wildly. It was pandemonium, at least half a dozen people all surrounding Leanne as she knelt down in the grass, whilst another couple attempted to retain Watson. I wanted to help settle him, but much of his aggression seemed to be aimed at me. I tried to instruct the others, possibly friends of Leanne’s - I didn't recognise them - but they just ignored me like I wasn't there.
“I don't know what's got into him.” They were saying.
“Neither do I. He's never normally like this.” I confirmed, but again they didn't acknowledge me.
And then I heard the most horrific, heart breaking of sounds. I turned around to see my daughter collapse forwards, as she screamed in despair.
A brilliant bright light from the moon suddenly shone down from above and I could finally see what was on the floor. Like a theatre spotlight, the ground around where Leanne was kneeling, where I had initially found myself after my fall, was now lit up and I could clearly see a man lying on the grass. The coat and boots looked familiar, but I had to see his face to be sure.
I stepped over to where Leanne was, there was somebody leant over her, their arms were tightly wrapped around her shoulder whilst whispering something in her ear.
“Leanne, can I see who that is?” I asked, but she didn't hear me.
“Leanne honey, could you just move slightly so I can see who that is.” Again she didn't respond. I felt a lump in my throat as I attempted to issues a third request for her to move.
“Leanne.” It was a different voice, not mine this time, but similar. “Leanne, what's going on?”
I turned around to see my son approaching up the hill. This time Leanne did respond and she rose to her feet and ran across the grass to her older brother where she grabbed a hold of him tightly.
I turned back to the figure on the ground. It all made sense. I didn't want to look, but I knew I had to. For closure. When I did, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. The moonlight shone brightly from above, emphasising the silver streaks in my hair against the dark green grass.
I gazed at myself for a short while and was amazed at the peacefulness that appeared to surround me. Whilst I could hear crying and shouting from the people around me, inside the eye of the storm there was calm.
I took one final look back at my children, holding one another in mutual support. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. And then turning back I saw Watson once more, only this time he had seemed to have calmed himself and was literally lying on my chest as I lay lifeless in the wet grass.
I could have sworn he looked at me, possibly even gave me a smile. That was to be the last thing I saw as I raised my head and looked up into the moonlight.