Chapter 5 - Flints Shame

It was getting close to the next full Lunar phase; roughly 28 days had passed. The grandfather clock on the landing will again show a full moon and bathe the landing in a brilliant white light. 
The whole family apart from Grail once again started their preparations for the big night, rugs pulled out, clothing prepared. It was the usual hustle and bustle but there was an underlying sombre mood that was permeating through the whole family. In the back of their minds as they got the rooms set up was, will  Flint come through this time, will he change and if he does will he be gravely ill again. The last time very nearly killed him, they all knew that. The whole family saw how close to death he really was. So even though they were ready and excited about the run out in the forest would they have Flint with them or not?
Flint himself was also preparing his room with Vicky.
“Ok Flint, I’ve brought my rug up, I’ll set it up by the wall next to the chest of draws, if you put yours on the other side of the bed just under the small window, that’s it perfect. I’ll open the big bay window just before bedtime” 
Flint after sorting his rug out. Noting where he will be and his mum so he doesn’t get too disoriented if needing the toilet in the night. He was still very worried about tonight as was his entire family, they had all been so kind to him when he eventually surfaced out of his room properly only barely two weeks previous. His dad was especially nice, maybe seeing his son suffer so badly reminded him of his weeks of recovery all those years ago when Vicky saved his life. The similarities in their symptoms were striking and as Vicky conceded to Royston many months later maybe that should have raised alarm bells with them both. But when faced with a gravely ill person you don’t think of reasons so much you just treat them, to make them better. 
Flint, as the lunar phase moved through the waning stage till the new moon, his strength was at its lowest, being so weak to start with that was the most critical stage, at the new moon with no power being offered by the lunar phase that was the point when Vicky thought they had lost him as he went into a catatonic sleep. Barely breathing, unrousable, on the verge of death. Luckily he seemed to rally after that, as the moon started to wax his strength began to increase. By the time he had got up and saw his mum in the hall he was mostly back to normal just wiped out, he didn’t even remember Grail visiting him that day. As the others started to gain their wolf powers with the growing moon, so did Flint, he was pleasantly surprised that after all that time with no energy, mostly sleeping his strengths seem to come back rapidly. He noticed that if anything his sense of smell was even better than before. That day, the eve of the full moon he had to keep the tannery down wind to him at all times as the smell was totally overpowering him. He was able to run and leap well, maybe a little off the pace as before. His strength also seemed lower but he hoped that this would be temporary to this change and if this transformation goes without hitch then by the next full lunar phase it will be normal. 
All he really wanted was to get through tonight, hope that he changed with the rest of the family but if his system hadn’t completely reset at least not go through the agony of nearly changing then everything would collapse on him. He would rather not change this time and recuperate all his powers. He knew though that was out of his control. At least
With his mum in the room he felt a little happier. 
Vicky finished her unpacking, she told Flint she was just popping down to talk to his dad. She strode down the corridor popping her head in on the others preparing for the night just to make sure they were totally prepared. To each one she told them to be mindful around Flint if he transforms the chances are he may be a weaker wolf than he would be normally so don’t go pushing him too hard. Leave plenty of scent markers down so if he is left behind in a chase he would be able to follow them easily. They all said they would, Jobe had to make a joke about it saying luckily he’s planning to drink three very large whiskies before changing so his scent marks would be potent as hell. Just sniffing them mum might make him drunk, just to warn you. Vicky tutted but knew Jobe just like the others was worried about Flint. 
The final door she reached was Grails knocking she heard Grail say a rather muffled come in
“Are you ok Grail”?
Enquired Vicky as she entered the room, looking in the gloom of the room, she saw Grail all wrapped up in his blankets, a bit concerned now she walked up to the side of his bed
“Grail you ok?”
She put her hand to feel his forehead, but he turned his head away from her.
“I’m fine mum, just over did it in the tannery today, without Flint these last few days you know I’ve had to step up as dad put it, some days I’ve put in double shifts down there, of course I understand about Flint but I am quite exhausted mum”
“Of course Grail, I understand how hard this must have been on you, I know how much you care about Flint. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the number of trips you made down to his room when he was so ill, I know you were hoping to help him. I’m sorry if dad pushed you too hard in the tannery. It’s his way of coping but I’ll talk to him, I will check up on you obviously after tonight, try not to worry about Flint, I think it was a temporary problem, he will recover I’m sure.
Grail, who looked a bit shocked when Vicky said she had seen him going into Flint's room, but then seemed a bit more settled as she continued to talk.
“Thank you mum, I think Flint will be ok tonight to, I don’t know why I just feel a change will happen”
Smiling down at Grail, Vicky stood up and tapped him on his legs. A slight look of puzzlement crossed her face but with a slight shrug she turned and walked out. Moving to the end of the corridor she reached her bedroom, opening the door she strode in to see Royston pulling out his rug, a particularly spectacularly thick red deer skin. The first red deer he caught and killed after becoming a werewolf. 
“Hello love, I’m just getting the old skin out, I don’t know if I may need another one soon, getting a little threadbear in places”
Vicky looking at her husband couldn’t suppress the laughter 
“You know and I know you won’t throw that skin away, it means way too much to you. It will be just dust before you bear to part with it!”
Looking slightly embarrassed, Royston held his hands up in surrender
“Guilty as charged, your right I wouldn’t part with it, just smelling the musk of that deer still on this skin when I transform brings back so many memories”
“I know dear, I’m the same about mine, I was only pulling your leg, oh whilst I’m here can you please go a bit easier on Grail in the Tannery, he’s absolutely shattered”
Royston looked up a bit puzzled
“That’s odd he’s the one who insisted on doing extra work, to be fair I was very impressed with him, and I told him that. He was throwing the skins around as well as Carver or dare I say Nero! Considering he struggled normally with a single boar skin”
Vicky frowned remembering what she felt when she patted his leg.
“His leg muscles seemed much firmer when I said goodnight to him and he was well covered by the blankets as if hiding his body. You don’t think he’s going through an early transition, I mean he’s only fifteen”
“Maybe but you’ve said that a body before eighteen can’t change, maybe he’s having a spike or something. Could settle down again after this phase”
“Kids! One can’t change, another might be changing too soon!”
Royston nodding in agreement, leant over giving Vicky’s forehead a kiss whilst smoothing her hair, noticing how thick and luxurious it was, knowing her hair gets thicker before transition. 
“They will both be fine, you better get back to Flint and don’t worry I’m sure everyone will get through tonight unscathed”
“Thankyou Roy, yes I’ll go back to Flint’s, it will feel weird, this will be our first transition in eighty years apart.”
She leant into Royston giving him a proper kiss on his lips, they stayed in a clench for a few minutes before Vicky pulled away with a small smile.
“Take care and I’ll see you in the woods”
With that Vicky turned and walked out making her way back to Flint’s room.
Flint had finished his preparation by the time Vicky had returned, he was scrubbed and changed into loose clothing that he would be able to rip off easily with hands melding into paws. One of Jobe’s favourite stories was the night after transforming and jumping out of his window he was confronted by the sight of Nero as a wolf trying to bite off a pair of tight pants stuck around his midriff. In the end Jobe had to help by nipping it off him. As Jobe put it I howled with laughter literally! So being very mindful of that story Flint wasn’t taking any chances, as he laid on his rug feeling the first flushes meaning change was coming on. He heard the door quietly creak open, holding his head up he sniffed the air getting the reassuring whiff of his mum returning.
“Hi mum, I’m all settled. I had a flush just now, and I can feel things moving about under my top so I’m sure transition will happen. Just hope it sticks this time”
Vicky also felt the first flushes, as internally things start to realign themselves, blood vessels move, bones start bending, muscles to legs and arms getting larger with more blood supply, subtly to start with. She walked around the bed bending down and felt Flint’s head, she could feel the bones beneath his skin slowly moving apart. Feeling along his jawline she could tell it was resetting itself. By this time neither could talk, leaning over Vicky smoothed Flint’s hair, with grunts and gestures she told him to lie down. Remembering how she tried to get Royston prepared for his first transition all those years ago. Flint was already undoing the buttons on his night shift in readiness to pulling it off when ready. Vicky now on all fours as back legs shortened, hips moved, forcing her to the ground, she made it back to her rug and she too started to remove clothing before it became too difficult. 
All it needed now was the moonlight.
Just then the silvery light of the moon started playing on the surfaces in the rooms, each room glittering like a Christmas bauble, motes of dust becoming iridescent dancing creatures jumping in the light of the moon. Eventually the light hit the curled figures on their rugs,  causing the transformation to really start in earnest . Flint his arms and legs changing, pulling at his nightdress letting it fall away from him, this time it will happen, this time no stopping and reverting back, that was the thought reverberating through his head. The pressure within seemed to keep increasing; he felt as if his entire body was being bundled into a tight small case. He was gasping for breath but then with a popping sensation the pressure stopped. Excitedly he spun round on the rug, putting his snout up into the air he sniffed the glorious kaleidoscope of smells. Jumping on the bed he looked down at his mum to see she was still in mid change, cocking his head to one side he jumped back down and trotted over to the bay window, under the window he looked up and was surprised at how high it seemed, leaning right back on his haunches he launched himself onto the windowsill, having to scrabble up the last bit, putting deep scratch marks in the wall just below the sill. Eventually he gained a foothold and was able to pull himself up. Looking over the edge to the garden below, he detected the soft clear area he needed to aim for but it seemed an awful long way down. Again steeling himself, leaning back into a crouch he launched himself into the void. Just as he leapt he heard his mum bark a warning to him but too late for him to stop. He landed hard, his front legs buckled and his face planted into the soft earth. Standing up shaking his head to clear it he gingerly stepped off the earth checking his footing was ok. Just then he heard a loud growl from the undergrowth and out crashed his dad. Flint recognised him immediately and started to trot towards his dad tail wagging, pleased to see him. His dad was rushing up to him, teeth snarling, hackles raised. Flint, unsure what to do, went into a non threatening posture, showing his dad he wasn’t a threat, not sure why his dad was acting like this, surely he could smell him. Royston galloped on was down on his haunches ready to launch himself at Flint, when from Flint’s room Vicky sailed out landing in front of Flint with her head down growling at Royston.Royston stopped looking at Vicky then at Flint, he still looked like he was ready to pounce on him but at this point Vicky stood right in front of him and gave such a deep throated warning of a growl that Royston backed down, shaking his head stalked off into the woods.
Vicky turned her body round so facing Flint who stood up out of his submissive position. It was then things started to make sense to him. Vicky came up close to Flint sniffing him all over, and she towered above him, looking at her legs then down towards his legs. He realised he wasn’t a wolf at all. He had a small slightly elongated body and short legs, a mixed up bag of god alone knew type of dogs. He slumped down on the ground and started whimpering. Vicky licked his head then gently nudged him to stand up. He complied and with a gentlest of holds she held him in her mouth leaning back leapt into the window they had just leapt out of. Putting Flint gently down on his rug, she settled herself in front of him keeping an alert eye on the open window, Flint turning around three or four times on the rug eventually settled down with head tucked right in tail pulled up to his face, he tried to go back to sleep. Hopefully to wake up to find this was a horrible dream and the moon wasn’t even up yet.
Vicky sniffing stood up shackles up as a wolf shape jumped up onto the windowsill, she stepped closer head down growling. The shape at the window jumped down showing it self to be Nero, looking at his mum he walked around the edge of the room sniffing the air, he got around half way then seeing Flint he stopped sniffing the air, a low growl from his throat he started to pad towards the sleeping shape but then Vicky came round between him and Flint with a loud growl she walked towards Nero. Nero seemed to weigh up his options, knowing he was stronger than his mum but it’s his mum, eventually he bowed his head down and walked backwards then turning and leaping through the open window he disappeared into the woods. Vicky settled back down whilst Flint slept albeit punctuated with disturbing dreams, his legs kicking out, small whimpers coming from his mouth. 
The rest of the night passed without any more incidents, Dawn did jump up and looked quizzically into the room seeing her mum she jumped down again.
At last the morning light flowed in, all the family members back in their rooms, a pile of deers and boars piled up outside the butchery room. Each bedroom had sleeping human shapes, some on the bed others still on the rug, the only one awake was Flint, he woke up changing back, as he finished changing he got up washed, put on his neatly folded clothes  then sat on a chair looking out of the window, seeing the deep scratches on the wall, leaning over he felt them then the emotions all came out, he buried his head into hands, his body convulsing with wracks of sobs. Suddenly he felt a hand on his back, looking up he saw Vicky looking down at him.
“Ohh mum what am I? I’m a runt, a useless little dog creature. Why me? What have I done wrong!”
Vicky held Flint to her.
“I tell you what you are, you are a Ludovic, you are beautiful. It doesn’t matter if your a wolf or a dog or any other animal when you change, what matters is who you are and that is my son”
“But mum, am I? Why didn’t dad know it’s me? Why did Nero jump in and try to attack me? I was awake when he came in. I just thought it best to pretend to be asleep. I obviously don’t look or smell like a member of the Ludovic pack, they thought I was an interloper, that’s why they wanted to attack.”
Vicky knew Flint was right. When she carried him back up into the bedroom, the smell emanating from him nearly made her snap down on him. Luckily her motherly devotion outweighed that urge and she was able to distinguish Flint from the odour of another animal. After reassuring him again, Vicky got dressed herself and walked down the corridor, biting her bottom lip, a sign she was worried. Upon reaching Grail’s door she stopped, pushing it open slightly she looked in and saw the shape of Grail under the blankets. For a fleeting second she thought about pulling the blankets down, to see for herself the shape he was in now. Deciding against it, she quietly closed the door and walked down to her own room. 
Upon entrance she saw Royston awake, sitting on the edge of the bed looking devastated. 
“Oh god Vicky what happened? I was that close to ripping Flint into pieces. The smell, my god he smelt like a recently killed animal. It was almost overpowering, I could have and would have killed him. 
“I know Roy, it took all of my motherly instincts not to harm him myself. Nero jumped in and would have killed him, even Dawn jumped up to see what was going on.”
Pausing sitting on the bed next to her husband both looking totally rejected. 
“We will learn his smell just like you did Vicky, we won’t attack a wolf or dog we know”
Vicky looking even more worried after Royston had stopped speaking, shaking her head slowly
“That’s the problem, I smelt him all over after you had bounded back in the woods, then I smelt him again after Nero’s little attempt. This is the thing he smelt totally different that second time than the first time. I’m so worried he will be attacked by one of you a lot, I won’t be able to protect him every night he’s transisted.. “
Just then the door opened wide and Flint stumbled in., his face smeared with tears, red eyed but with a veneer of coping on his face
“You won’t need to mum, I’m leaving. I’ll go and stay in the village”
Laughing bitterly he continued
“It’s not like I’ll be a threat to anyone down there when I change. I’ll stay at Johnny’s and get a job to pay my way”
Royston stood a face like thunder
“A Ludovic living with the villagers like a commoner, living in all that dirt and grime, no I won’t have it. You're a lycanthrope. A proud race of special people and you want to live like a human!”
“No dad I don’t want to, but I’m not a lycanthrope, I’m a mongrel, a mixed up bloody mess of an animal, and as mum pointed out one of you will mistake my smell with something else and attack me.”
Pausing looking down before continuing
“Let me go dad, I can’t live with the shame of what I have become. I will not be able to bear the sight of you all bounding off into the woods to chase deer and boar and me cowering probably in a locked room waiting to change back, that is not the life for a lycanthrope”
Royston had sat back down on the bed looking at his son as he gave this speech, he knew he was right but still, eighty years ago he escaped the life of squalor, working every hour god sent for a handful of Gulden’s, living in a shack with barely enough food to keep him alive. After Vicky came along and changed him physically and metaphysically into a totally different person, he vowed he or any of his family would never end up in a dead water spot like the one he escaped. But he couldn’t see any way out of it. Nodding his head he stood up and walked over to Flint, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Ok son go with our consent, but it won’t be forever. We will scour every book, everything we can think of to see if we can find a way round this. I know you feel ashamed, but I’m telling you this now. What you are doing here right at this point of time is the damndest bravest thing a Ludovic has ever done. I’m proud to say you are my son, now Vicky you discuss with him the practical side of where he is going and give him money to help set him up, Johnny is Hannah and George Fry boy isn’t he? Then when Hannah comes back here to work take her to one side and tell her, you don’t need to leave straight away Flint just let us at least arrange things properly”
With that Royston went into the bathroom to wash.
Vicky went over to a picture on the wall lifting it down revealing a safe she spun the dial around then pulling down on the large handle, opening it revealing bags of guldens. Taking out a few she handed a couple over to Flint. 
“Take this with you. Hide it well at Johnnys. I’ll speak to Hannah Fry when she comes back and arrange with her your board and keep. Remember humans are unpredictable animals, they don’t have the pack mentality like we do. They may think they do but if the chips are down they behave independently with no cohesion, that’s what makes them so dangerous. I wish I could talk you out of this course of action but at the same time I know why you are doing it. Just never forget who you are. You are a Ludovic, we all love you. I will find a way round this that I can promise and then you can come back to us.”
For the next week, in between helping with the new influx of deer and boar carcasses, helping to take the skins off to sort out in the tannery and getting the carcasses ready for the butcher who trundled up in his cart on tuesday, Flint was helping him load up. When the last carcass was loaded up, the butcher handed over a handful of guldens to Flint
“There you are master Ludovic, oh I hear you may be joining us for a little stay in the village, staying at the Fry’s household”
“Yes yes that’s right, I’m going to be staying with Johnny for a while, I’m not very well and need to recuperate away from the house for a few weeks”
“Aye that’s what I heard. Well master Ludovic, I hope things go well, I’m sure I’ll be a seeing you around in the village, you go looking after yourself ok?” 
Flint with a smile and a nod said goodbye, he was glad when the butcher had left. He knew the story of his failed attempt at changing from before had become common knowledge and as for his latest change as a dog he knew that had now made its way down as did many theories on why he was really moving into the village. The favourite theory being his old man was so disgusted when he saw they had raised a runt of a pup that he threw him out, It was his mother's intervention stopping him from being thrown to the wolves (in a metaphoric way!) Forcing the Fry family to take him on or lose her job. All nonsense as the Fry’s would tell anyone who enquired, they were happy to have him stay. George Fry looked forward to having a strong chap around to help him in the smithy as the local blacksmith he found he had too much work to handle at times, Johnny would help out but his heart wasn’t in the smithy, he was much more interested in sports. Obviously with his size he was a good boxer but he enjoyed all sports including football and ice hockey in the winter. Hannah liked the thought of having a Ludovic in the house, working in the big house she knew their loyalties and knowing the whole family she knew them to be hard working and a kind lot, as well as the extra money that Vicky and Roy was paying them would come in very handy. Johnny was just excited about having his mate in the house. 
By the end of the week, Flint was ready, he had a farewell meal with the family, a very sombre affair, even Jobe couldn’t bring himself to make any jokes, after the meal Flint gave them all a hug said his goodbyes, then trudged out to the waiting coach. Looking round one more time and waving he climbed aboard the coach. The coach driver with a crack of his whip got the horses to pull out taking Flint away from his family home.
Vicky turned away as the coach pulled away with tears in her eyes.
“It’s alright mum he will be back”
“Thankyou Dawn I know, but it shouldn’t happen, I’ve looked through the history books left by grandad Hugo, I can’t find a reference to this happening before. If I don’t know why it happened how do I put it right”
As the family all came together to comfort each other Flint himself resigned as he was to moving away was still feeling the tug of the family ties,he was upset that Grail seemed to be very distant, the one time he caught up with him, he had a look of disdain on his face as Flint spoke, he hardly seemed to care he was leaving, he didn’t even hang around after the last meal, just disappeared into his room. Vicky told Flint, he’s been acting quite odd ever since your last change. Maybe this is his way of coping with it all. 
 As the coach continued through the thickening forest following the only drivable path he didn’t know what life in the village would be like but he would make the most of it, at least Johnny would be there to guide him through the village way of life. When would he see his family again? He hoped not long but with the swirling sense of shame and self hatred he really wanted a total separation from them for now. 
He wasn’t to know it but it would be a full year before he would see the family again. He continually made excuses not to see them, to keep his distance. Even when he knew they were in the village shopping or at one of the local pubs, he would hide away from them. Not that he wasn’t missing them, he missed them every day, he missed the banter he had with his brothers, he missed the work in the tannery and the sewing room. Most of all he missed the food! 
He had now found a new life in the village and a new acceptance of what he had become. The villagers didn’t mind his shape or his smell when he changed, they found a use for him as a dog and he felt properly wanted, no walking on eggshells making sure they don’t hurt his feelings and no worrying about destroying him when did change! The self hatred and loathing he had was diminishing as the time passed, he didn’t want those feelings to return.