Conquering Demons

I love you! I love you! I love you!
Why are you so quiet?
Why are you so sensitive?
Why do you have to start a fight?
You're stupid, stop being so hard to get along with.
Yeah, yeah you're sorry once again.
I love you! I love you! I love you!

And so the cycle repeats, over and over again until one person ends it. Usually the narcissistic person is the one to end things as they have found a new supply and you are no longer a challenge. But where does that leave you? Broken, alone, scared, insecure and stuck in a trauma bond with someone who only used to to fulfill their needs. They never actually cared about you, they only cared to satisfy their own sick needs. You were simply a means to an end for them.

So now what? You fall into a very dark hole. And how long you stay in this hole depends on how long your ex wants to play with your head. See they can't be sure that their new supply will last so they keep you hanging on just in case they need you again. This is what happened to me, for months he called, texted, flirted and played with my head until he was sure the new girl was hooked. That's when he didn't need me anymore and I became the evil villain in his story. At that point he expected me to go quietly.

To forget all of my belongings and every cent he owed me. He stopped texting, communicating and expected me to just sit back and take it. What he didn't count on was that he had played with the wrong person this time. I had used my time away from him to begin healing. Growing stronger every day I was away from him I had begun to find myself again. And I refused to give up things I had worked hard for. Even now months later I am still fighting, and I will not back down until I get what I want for once in this life. What kind of a role model would I be for others if I backed down and let him win? He has already stolen so much of my life, I will not allow him to take another thing from me. So, if that makes me the crazy ex in his mind, than so be it. I am past the stage of caring what someone like him thinks about me. 

Something happens once you get away from a narcissistic person. You find strength in the knowledge that you survived. You find a new sense of self knowing that if you could get through that type of hell than you can truly face anything in life. I believe he was brought into my life to teach me how to see that there are demons walking amongst us. They live beside us each day. Only now can I see the truth behind the mask. And I will not rest until I can say that I fought a demon and I won. 

No longer will I believe the sweet words that he has said to me behind his new girl's back. No longer will I believe the lies that come out of his fork tongued mouth. They slide out so easily, it's as if he is always primed to say exactly what he needs to, just to get his own way. Never again will I hear him say that I am his soulmate and one true love without having flashbacks of rages, things being thrown, nasty words being hurled at me and furniture being broken. 

And no longer will I take the blame for behaviors that belong to someone who has no heart, no values, no morals, and no soul. He is simply a lingering nightmare for me, one I will conquer over time!! 

There is hope that people like this can be overcome. Not only can you beat them at their own game but eventually Karma will reach them too. Have faith, and never stoop down to their level.