Death visit

"Who are you?

"Who am I? You have been calling me for years. "

" I am not brave enough; I need you to push me."

"Didn't I bring enough people to push you? The abuser, the bullier, the perpetrators, the selfish, the ignorant. What else do you want me to do?".

"The courage, you didn't bring the courage."

"That isn't in my department. The Good one is lazy. Don't you see?. Wars, murders, torture, rapes. Courage has nothing to do with me. HE gave you the gift of life. The life you know, the life you have lived. I give you the gift of death. Don't blame me if you are a coward. 

"What should I do?"

"What should you do? Do you think things are going to change? Do you think one day you will wake up, leave the house, and everyone smile at you? Someone will compliment your generosity, your fairness, your empathy? The answer is not. If I go, you will continue with the same endless story daily.
(I want to die) Hurry up, I have others waiting."

" Can you push me?"

" You still don't get it. I can't touch you. I wish I could. I can only whisper death to your ears. I can show you sorrow in your dreams. I can make you feel hopeless and unloved, and then, with the bravery HE never gave you, you must jump.

" Can you give me a reason to live?"

"Fuck sake!. I gave you millions of reasons to die over the years. Your tears at night after the abuse as a kid, the tears at night after the humiliation as an adult, and when you thought terrible things may have happened for a good reason, it always got worse because, let's be honest, you are the square peg trying to fit in the hole. And I will continue giving you reasons to die if that's your choice—die ones and all or die for the rest of your life. The Good one never gave you one reason to live. You have 2 minutes before I go. There is someone in the door.

"What?"

Knock knock

"Hi?"

"Hi.Sorry to interrupt you. I am one of your neighbours. This morning, I came across an injured dog on the road. I took him to the vet, and he said he would make it. He doesn't have a microchip, and I can't keep him. Another neighbour said you don't work right now; I was wondering...

"30 seconds"

"He is here, see? In this basket, he must be less than one year old. Look at that face. Hasn't he the saddest eyes you have ever seen?

"I will look after him."

" Fucking coward".

"Thank you so much. It was a miracle other cars didn't run over him. He certainly was pretending he was already dead. He is full of bravery. He is fighting to live.

" I will look after him."

" Fucking coward. I won't come back here."