Finn - The Intergalactic Exterminator

The N'Caca troop carrier hit the barricade at full speed.

Greypeepo soldiers jumped clear as the armored vehicle smashed through the barrier and sent metal plates across the avenue.

The carrier kept going. Its forward cannon turned toward the retreating defenders. Inside, twelve armored N'Caca warriors held their ray rifles and waited for the order to deploy.

Something hit the roof.

Every antenna in the carrier pointed upward.

The N'Caca officer looked at the ceiling.

"What was that?"

The roof came down.

Finn dropped through it.

His mechanical feet hit the floor hard enough to dent it. Water sloshed inside the transparent life-support chamber that held his bottlenose dolphin body. His armored suit straightened to its full height.

Twelve N'Caca stared at him.

Finn looked left.

Then right.

His translator activated in the deep, gravelly voice he had personally selected.

"Anybody call an exterminator?"

The officer raised his weapon.

Finn drew two ray guns.

"Guess so."

He fired; red bolts filled the compartment.

One N'Caca went down.

Another jumped behind a seat.

A third scrambled up the wall.

Finn turned and fired again.

"Come on, fellas. I charge by the hour."

A N'Caca fired.

The bolt struck Finn's shoulder, and his suit turned halfway around.

Finn looked at the scorched armor.

"Hey. I just got this."

He fired back.

The N'Caca dropped.

Another warrior charged.

Finn spun both ray guns around his mechanical fingers.

One slipped out of his hand.

It hit the floor.

Finn looked down.

The N'Caca looked down.

Finn looked back at him.

"You didn't see that."

The warrior lunged.

Finn punched him through the side of the carrier. The metal wall tore open, and the N'Caca disappeared into the street. Finn looked through the hole.

"That you can tell people about."

The driver jerked the controls, and the carrier swerved. Finn grabbed an overhead support.

"Whoa there bug!"

The vehicle smashed through a fruit stand. Purple melons exploded across the windshield.

Finn looked toward the cockpit.

"Who's driving this thing?"

The N'Caca driver hissed at him.

Finn raised his remaining ray gun.

"Question answered."

He fired, and the control panel exploded; it killed the driver instantly. 

The carrier suddenly turned hard. Finn's eyes widened.

"Possible mistake," Finn noted. 

The carrier hit a wall, and it rolled.

Finn hit the ceiling...squish. 

Then the floor...squish and crunch.  

 Two more N'Caca...dead.

Then Finn hit the ceiling again.

"I meant to do that!" Finn spat as ooze hit the floor. 

The carrier rolled one last time and stopped upside down. Silence filled the compartment.

Finn hung from an overhead rail. A purple melon floated beside his head inside the water chamber. Finn stared at it. The melon slowly bumped his nose.

"How the hell did you get in here?" he wondered. 

Outside, Zeeko ran toward the wreck. The small Greypeepo carried a ray rifle almost as tall as he was. 

"Finn!" He exclaimed. 

Another Graypeepo followed with his engineering case.

"Do not encourage him," Meepo said. 

The side hatch blew off. Zeeko stopped and the smoke cleared. He saw Finn step out. Finn had recovered both ray guns.

Zeeko's large black eyes widened.

"That was incredible!"

Finn straightened.

"Standard Tuesday."

Meepo checked his wrist unit.

"It is Sixth Rotation."

Finn looked at him.

"Sometimes people say things because they sound good, Princess."

"My name is Meepo."

"I know."

"Then use it."

"I do when you're behaving."

Zeeko pointed at the wreck. 

"You defeated twelve N'Caca by yourself."

"Eleven," Meepo said.

Finn turned.

"Twelve."

"One was thrown from the vehicle."

"I threw him."

"That does not confirm he was defeated."

Finn looked at Zeeko.

"Twelve?"

Zeeko thought about it.

"Fourteen."

Finn nodded.

"That's why he's my favorite."

"I regret bringing him to this planet." Meepo sighed and began to walk away. 

Finn followed.

"You kidnapped me."

"We recruited you."

"I woke up in a spaceship."

"You were sedated."

"Kidnapped."

Zeeko hurried alongside Finn.

"We needed Earth's most intelligent species."

Finn looked pleased.

Meepo did not.

"We made an error."

Finn stopped.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No, Princess. Finish the thought."

Meepo continued walking.

"Z-Man, did he just insult dolphins?"

"Yes."

Finn hurried after Meepo.

"You're on thin ice, Gray."

"Greypeepo."

"You're gray."

"We are Greypeepo."

"Right. Grays."

"That is not our name."

Zeeko nodded.

"I like Grays."

Finn slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Z-Man understands branding."

An explosion shook the avenue. An N'Caca assault craft crossed overhead. Ray fire struck the buildings ahead. Finn drew his weapons. Meepo grabbed one of his mechanical wrists.

"We have orders."

"Roaches are shooting at us," Finn answered. 

"They are N'Caca."

"Fancy roaches."

"They possess an advanced interstellar civilization."

"Very fancy roaches."

Another N'Caca carrier rounded the corner. Its cannon fired. Finn shoved Zeeko and Meepo behind a concrete barrier. The blast hit the street harmlessly, and Finn jumped after them and slipped. His suit landed on its back. His mechanical legs moved uselessly in the air. Meepo looked down.

"You are stuck."

"No," Finn said sheepishly.  

"You are lying on your back."

"Defensive position."

"You cannot stand up."

"Very defensive position."

Zeeko grabbed one arm, and Meepo grabbed the other. They pulled Finn upright.

Finn brushed dust from his armor.

"Nobody saw that."

Zeeko nodded.

"Already forgotten."

Meepo tapped his wrist computer.

"I recorded it."

Finn stared at him.

"You record me falling?"

"I have a folder."

"You have a folder?"

"Several."

"That's creepy, Princess."

They reached the Greypeepo command bunker. Commander Vell, a very stern figure, stood over a tactical display. Monotunn City filled the hologram. Large sections flashed red.

"The N'Caca have taken three western districts," Vell said. "They control the transit hub and two power stations."

Finn leaned over the map.

"What about there?" He pointed at a blue section.

"The central water-processing complex," Vell said.

"They haven't attacked it?"

"Not directly."

Meepo examined the map.

"They may need the facility intact."

Finn shook his head.

"No."

Meepo looked at him.

"No?"

"Roaches don't shoot up half a city and suddenly get polite around plumbing."

Zeeko nodded.

"Brilliant."

"He noticed a water plant," Meepo said.

"Brilliantly."

"See why I keep him?" Finn grinned. 

Vell changed the display. A captured N'Caca transmission appeared. An armored warrior stood in a Monotunn street. 

"Unknown combat organism encountered."

Finn leaned closer.

"Who are they talking about?"

The image changed. Finn appeared on the screen.

"Oh. You handsome bastard." Finn said smugly. 

Meepo stared at him.

The N'Caca transmission continued.

"Search ancestral Earth memory."

Finn's smile faded.

"What's that?"

"The N'Caca Hive carries inherited memories from its ancestors," Meepo said. "Their original ancestors came from Earth."

"Yeah. Roaches."

"N'Caca."

"Still roaches."

The transmission answered.

"Comparison failed."

Zeeko moved closer.

The N'Caca repeated the search.

"No organism match."

Finn stared at the screen.

The Hive searched again.

Nothing.

Meepo looked at Finn.

Finn slowly smiled.

Meepo immediately raised a finger.

"No."

Finn turned.

"They don't know what I am."

"No."

Zeeko's eyes widened.

"They don't know what Finn is."

Finn slapped both hands onto the tactical table.

"They don't know dolphins."

Meepo shook his head.

"Apparently no ancestral N'Caca encountered one."

Finn's grin grew.

"So I can tell them anything."

"No."

Zeeko whispered, "Anything."

Finn pointed at him.

"Anything."

Vell frowned.

"I dislike where this is going."

Finn straightened.

"If I tell them I'm a dolphin, they learn something. So I don't tell them."

Meepo sighed loudly. 

"That is surprisingly intelligent."

Finn froze.

Zeeko looked at Meepo.

Finn slowly turned.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"You called me intelligent."

"I said surprisingly."

Finn put an arm around Meepo.

"Big day for us, Princess."

"Remove your arm."

An alarm sounded.

A communications officer turned.

"N'Caca forces are entering the water district."

Finn drew both ray guns. 

Vell pointed toward him.

"Find out what they want with that facility."

Finn headed for the door.

"And Finn."

He turned.

"Try not to destroy it."

Finn considered the request.

"I'll do my best."

Meepo looked surprised.

Finn smiled.

"My best is terrible."

He walked out.

Zeeko followed.

Meepo sighed and went after them.

Across Monotunn, the N'Caca Hive issued a new command.

CAPTURE UNKNOWN EARTH ORGANISM.

PRESERVE FOR STUDY.

Finn's translator intercepted the message.

He stopped.

Zeeko looked up.

"They want you alive."

Finn checked both ray guns.

Meepo frowned.

"That should concern you."

Finn looked toward the water district.

His dolphin grin returned.

"They want to study me?"

"Yes."

Finn started walking.

"That's adorable."