Loving on the Hedge

Mr and Mrs. Bruin were trying to relax after a hard day. He was napping in the recliner and she was working on her cross-stitch when the kids burst in and started playing loudly with their toys. Mrs. Bruin didn't pay much attention at first, but Mr. Bruin started to awaken slowly, then swiftly as it all changed into an argument.
"Children, your father is trying to sleep! Please keep it down," Mrs. Bruin exclaimed.
Mr. Bruin stretched and yawned before saying, "Honey, I'm already awake, but kids please stop fighting and sit down."
"Aww," came the collective groan from the children. They sat down in front of their parents and tried to play with their toys but it didn't seem fun anymore.
"We're bored," Peter told their parents.
"Yeah, we're bored," Danny added. Suddenly a chant of "we're bored" came from the younger generation.
"Well, Melinda, let's give them a reason to not be bored." Mr. Bruin stopped to think for a moment. "I know I'll tell you a story."
"Oh boy, a story," Sharon replied. Then excited remarks of, "a story" and "yay, a story!" could be heard around the room.
"What kind of story?" Charlie asked.
"Oh, I don't know, let me see..." Mr. Bruin thought again for a moment. "Ok here’s one--hey kids, did I ever tell you how I met your mother?"
"No," they responded. 
Cindy tugged on his arm and pleaded, "Please tell us!"
A virtual chorus of, "Yeah, please tell us!" erupted from the rest of their five children.
"Well, when I was a young punk in my manor home, I had some of my friends over..." he began when Charlie interrupted him.
"What is a 'young punk'?" the boy asked.
"It means your father wasn't a well-behaved young man," their mother said. The children began giggling.
When the snickers died down, Mr. Bruin continued his story. "Anyway, I had some of my troublemaker friends over. We were all around fifteen, so we should have known better, but we started doing ridiculous things, like throwing food at the ceiling to see which would stick up there for the longest."
"Boy, you sure weren't well-behaved! Daddy, I thought you wanted to be a 'good example' for all of us," Sharon remarked. The children laughed again.
"Well, usually I do, but I'm telling a story of when I was young and foolish. Maybe you could learn a lesson or two from it on how not to act." He paused a moment to regather his thoughts. "When we got bored with that, we gathered cups from the kitchen and used them to get water, which we proceeded to throw at each other until we split a gut laughing."
"Wow, you really were bad. But didn't you have to go to the hospital if you all split your guts?" Danny replied.
"No. Kids, that is just an expression. It means we laughed really hard until it hurt," their father explained.
"But did you need a bandage, since it hurt?" Danny asked.
"No, Danny, that means our muscles got sore from laughing, and before you ask--we did not need an aspirin or any other pain relief for it." Mr. Bruin remarked as the children laughed once again. "Now could you all please refrain from asking questions, so Daddy can continue the story?"
When the kids smiled at each other and nodded, he felt safe to continue the tale. "We got some soda from the refrigerator and sat around the kitchen table drinking it. We stayed there for a few minutes until we got another brilliant scheme, or at least I did.
"Let's play football in the house," I suggested.
"Great idea, Fred! Way to go!" the others cheered.
"What are the rules?" Don asked.
"Not too many, standard plays. We can play anywhere in the house. Open windows are for field goals and touchdowns are next to them. Let's play," I answered.
"Wait, aren't we forgetting something? Where is the football?" Reggie asked the rest of us.
"It's in the closet. I'll go get it," I told him. I soon found the hall closet and extracted the football from it. We then proceeded to play football around the house. We were very careful and didn't break anything important and all was was fun until..."
"your parents came home?" Cindy remarked.
"No, as I said, all was fun until we entered the master bedroom upstairs and went for a touchdown by the open window. Gerald threw me the football and I backed up to catch it, right in front of the open window. I caught it all right, but it came in too hard and the impact knocked me out the open window. A person could seriously be hurt falling out a second story window, but I lucked out that day. For I fell out into a huge hedge sculpture near the house. I was upside down, but safe, except for a few scratches. I was suspended there for a few minutes while my friends stared down from the upper story.
Little did I know, a nice young lady about my age was walking past my house. She happened to notice my two legs sticking out of the top part of the hedge. Soon an angellic voice drifted to my ears, "Hello, there! Do you need help?"
I was embarrassed and didn't want to say anything. I had somr pride in myself and didn't want to possibly seen by my friends being rescued by a girl, but I thought of the crazy situation I was in and gave in. I was impossibly stuck in the hedge and couldn't get out by myself, so I finally got up the courage to say, "Yes."
So she set to it and grabbed me by the legs and yanked me out, much to the snickers and relief of my friends.
"Are you all right cutie?" she asked when she looked into my eyes. I never had seen such a more gorgeous creature in my life."
"Oh, Fred, you are so romantic!" Mrs. Bruin remarked.
"Indeed," Mr. Bruin cleared his throat. "Anyway, I stumbled over my next words, as I was stunned by her beauty. "Thanks for saving me, my angel. What is your name?" I stammered.
"My name is Melinda Carson. Are you free, sir?" she answered.
"Free? Yes, of course, you pulled me out," I replied.
"No, I mean, do you have a girlfriend?" Then she leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I remained in shock for a few minutes, as I was stunned this beautiful girl liked me. I then tried to speak but it rolled in my throat until I blurted out, "Why, do you want to be mine?"
"Yes." she smiled coyly as my friends made catcalls from the bedroom window. Anyway, we made plans to go on a date the next weekend.
However, the hope for that date was dashed when my parents came home soon after. They saw the mess we had had made plus the few unimportant broken items and grounded me for a month. My friends were banned from the house unless under supervision from then on.
At least, the grounding wasn't forever and when I saw Matilda at school, I remade our plans and we went out as soon as I was able to leave the house. It had been love at first accident then and was ever since. Since after I was old enough, I married your mother and here we have been ever since," Mr. Bruin finished.
"And then you had us?" George asked.
"Yes, and then we had you," his father said. Mr. Bruin saw the sunlight had begun to disappear and it was nighttime. "Kids, time for bed."
"Aw, do we have to?" Sharon protested.
"Yes, you have to. And please don't stall or you'll be grounded." The kids stood up and murmured at the news but started to head for their rooms. The older Bruins stood next to each other and watched them go. 
Fred Bruin slipped an arm around his wife and she looked him in the eyes. "Don't you want to kiss them goodnight?" she asked.
"Not yet, dear. There is someone else I'd rather 'kiss goodnight' right now," he told her. With that, he swept her into his arms and kissed her as the daylight faded away.