Procession

It happened. Out of nowhere. Your death day. You’d seemed okay that day. Then again, you’d not come out of your room that day. I’d been the one that found you. Already gone. Long gone actually. You were in rigor. So you’d been gone since some time the night before. I couldn’t even get the words out when I called 911. Not at first. The only words I managed to get out was that you were gone. You were in rigor so I know you’ve been gone long enough for that to be happening. Talia, Delilah, Constantine and Kenji were the first people I’d told. Three of the closest people to me. I hadn’t known Kenji as long as Talia, Delilah and Constantine. It didn’t matter. All four helped when I felt overwhelmed. To the point I couldn’t function 

“Devereaux must be devastated” Talia tearfully mentioned
“He’s heartbroken. Obviously. It was Rooney after all. She was his person” Delilah replied
“He’s the one that found her. Makes things so much worse” Constantine chimed in
“He’ll never be okay” Kenji replied

They were right. The unbearable grief I’ve felt since that day has made things worse. I don’t know how I’m going to go on with my life. I don’t understand the world around me. You, Rooney, my little sister, helped me. You’d told me you’d haunt me after you died. That was supposed to be a few decades from now. Six or seven to be precise. Not when you’re not even twenty five. The house we began investing in feels so big now. I’m going to do right by you though. I have no doubt you’ll make good on your promise. At some point. Soon probably knowing you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’d moved to New Orleans from our small town in Florida for a new life. New beginnings. It felt like we were finally making amends with each other while we were at it. 
The Mausoleum that came with the house had a few members of the family that previously owned the house. We let them know we had no plans to disturb their peace. I’d done all the research after we moved in. I cried knowing what kind of trauma lay within it. I felt for them and the lives they once had. I vowed to honor their lives in whatever way I could. I respected the house and its history. Within the local area. The people that’d once lived there. And that I’m now laying my sister within its walls. 

I let myself cry within its walls as night fell on the day you died. I didn’t feel so alone in there. I felt surrounded by people that may have helped you after your death. People you didn’t know that introduced themselves to you. People that’d seemed to be around in their own way. I’d felt people around the house. They’re souls without a body after all. It was their house as well at one point in time. They have a right to continue living here in the realm they’re in. That’s just my perspective anyway. 

The funeral procession to the Mausoleum is going to be the hardest part. The finality of it being that hardest part. I’ll be visiting every day. I know that. A Louisiana style procession being what you deserve. Followed by a party. Obviously. I’ve planned it all myself. Obviously. A party with all your favorite foods. With an array of  other things you loved. Pink being the theme color. It is your favorite color after all. It wouldn’t be a celebration of life without that. You’d smack me stupid if I didn’t do it. The outpouring of support by my neighbors has baffled me. They’ve cried with me. Fed me. Done what they could to help me. It comforted me as well. They barely know us. But they’ve come together to celebrate you. To help me through your death. To remind me I’m not alone. That you’re going to haunt me. That you’re okay. 
“I don’t know how he’s managed to do all of this” Shiloh sighed
“I have no idea either” Kenji replied
“It’s going to be a while before he’s remotely okay” Talia chimed in
“I know. He will be. Just in a far different way” Constantine answered 
 
People she’d befriended after we moved to the Parish came to celebrate her life. Some of whom I’d not yet met. She’d been a successful Graphic Designer and Photographer for the last few years. She’d carried it to Louisiana. Obviously. People loved her work. I displayed everything I could find. Things she’d put into her portfolio. People she’d freelanced for had come as well. To honor her. I was in awe of how many people had come to celebrate her. She’d always been one to help. To create. To use her skills to make others lives better in some way. I just hadn’t known how many lives she’d touched in her short life. People had stopped by to look at her work. She’d wanted the Louisiana style send off. It left people emotional after sharing her last wishes. 

The funeral home wasn’t far away. That’s where it started. The procession. People lined the streets between there and the Manor. People I didn’t even know. People who let me know I’m not alone. The entire community came out to share their love with me. To grieve together. The Louisiana style procession was one of the hardest parts. I’d seen them on YouTube, in Television shows, along with hearing about them. I’d known it was the perfect send off for you when I planned the Celebration Of Life. It fits who you are. And yes I cried the entire way to the Mausoleum. It was a beautiful way to remember you though. We danced our way to the Mausoleum. It’d been a sunny morning. It’d become an overcast day. I knew it’d rain at some point. It wasn’t going to put a damper on the day though.  
I couldn’t get the Eulogy out during the internment. Not without crying anyway. I did it though. I forgot everything I was going to say. So I improvised. I shared who you were. What you’d done in life. How you forever changed my life. I welcomed anyone to share anything about knowing you. They happily obliged. Everyone wanted to share a memory. Or few. Everyone shared their funniest memories of her. We laughed. We cried. We danced away. It felt more like a party for a loved one. It didn’t feel like a funeral. Or Celebration Of Life. 

“That was beautiful. She would’ve loved that. All of it” Elvira smiled
“Thank you” I replied
“She’d be proud of you” Constantine chimed in
“She’ll always be around” I said
“In some way all spirits are around. Not everyone can see them though” Elvira answered
“Very right you are. They’re in a realm we can’t see. Living their lives” I replied 
“You should write a book about the Manor. I know it would do well” Talia mentioned
“That is an awesome idea” Kenji said
“I’m probably going to do both. At some point. One thing at a time” I smiled

I’ve known I’m going to feel her nearby. It’s her after all. She’ll always make herself known in some way. She’s a soul without a body now. Nothing else has changed. She’s still in my life. Just a little differently now. It’s something most don’t understand. They’re not sure what to make of it. I’m not even sure how to explain it. I’ve been straightforward when I’m explaining. I’ve found it helps explaining that way. People hearing her has helped. Obviously. Things they can’t explain have been happening as well has been…. Interesting. It’s the spirits of the house.

 I’ve considered making some of the lower level of the Manor a Museum. I’m not sure if I want to do that. I know how much it takes to do. To maintain it. It’s a historical place for the most part though. The history behind it should be told. In some way anyway. I know I’m going to write a book about it. I know both would do well if I decided to go through with both. For now it’s just the book. I already get questions about the Manor. One thing at a time for now.