Confrontational Conversations

Flynn had grown up in a rural part of Georgia. Close enough to the Florida border he could cross it in two hours time. This rural upbringing also came with Conservatively Christian views. Views that said his “choices” were sinful that needed to be prayed away. Choices he knew weren’t anything like what everyone else had thought they were. He wanted to be himself. He’d been conflicted as a result of what he’d been taught and who he knew himself to be. 

He’d always seen himself as a rambunctious little boy. Whilst others only saw the Gender he was born as. A little girl who was very much a tomboy. A little girl that was going through a phase that would eventually pass. Despite the fact that it wasn’t going to happen. The ignorance was obvious early on. Flynn never listened to anyone other than his own voice. It’d been the way his mother taught him prior to her untimely death. 

“Your mother left you this. In case anything happened to her”
“Thanks. I’ll read it later. When I’m ready”
“She was always proud of you. Despite your choices”
“She loved me for who I am. Despite you and the rest of the family's choices to not love me for who I am. That’s as much as I’m going to say”
“Michele-”
“Not now. This isn’t the right time for those kinds of comments or conversations”

Her death came when he was barely thirteen. Health complications from a variety of issues she had. She’d left him a letter prior to her passing. In the event she’d passed unexpectedly. A letter letting him know she’d always been proud of him. That listening to the ignorant denizens of the town was only going to hinder him. That everything she’d instilled within him was what he needed to listen to. She’d made a point in telling him she knew he’d wanted nothing more than to be Male. To go ahead and be who he knew himself to be despite the ignorance that would happen as a result. To listen to himself instead of others. To disregard ignorance he faced.

Ignorance ran rampant amongst those in his small town. He’d distanced himself from nearly everyone, all one thousand people, most of which he knew to some extent, as a direct result of their ignorance. Ignorance that came from their religious views. He’d grown tired of the same comments every time he stepped out of the house. The lack of love left him wanting to leave. The lack of support from his own family didn’t help either. They’d let their actions speak for them. They’d let their views do the same. So he’d let his actions speak for him as well.

Difference in beliefs was a common occurrence in his life. Something he wasn’t too keen on happening in his everyday life. He wanted nothing more than for people to love him for who he is. The difference in beliefs came from Societal Views along with religious beliefs that made things a nightmare for him. The confrontational conversations he began having made him an outcast. He didn’t care. These conversations needed to happen. He knew he might get kicked out. He was prepared for that if it happened.  He’d never had much growing up. His minimalistic nature with material things made it easier for him to just pack up and leave if it came down to it. It was the religious beliefs instilled with him he knew would take some time to move through. 

Religious beliefs were deeply ingrained within the community. It was part of daily life to some extent. Religious beliefs that never made sense to Flynn. Religious beliefs that would often contradict each other. He’d begun challenging these beliefs anytime comments were made to be more Female. He’d have confrontational conversations that led down the road of contradicting each other. He’d pointed out how little sense they’d often made. Conversations that often ended in him being asked to leave. Or him leaving of his own accord. 

“Why are you still dressing the way you are?”
“Because I’ve known who I am and going to continue doing so”
“Honey, it’s just a phase, like anything else, it’ll-”
“NOT PASS because it’s NOT a phase. It’s who I am. I’ve ALWAYS known I was a little boy. I don’t know why I was born in this body. I’m going to always be who I am”
“If your mother were here-”
“She’d be proud of me. She told me, often, how proud of me she was. She even left me a letter. One where she reiterated how proud of me she is. That she knew I’d rather be a rambunctious boy. She told me she loves me as her son. That she’d rather be her happy boy than miserable as her daughter” 

His dad kicked him out the following week after the conversation with his Aunt was brought up. That he had no shame in what he’d said. That his mother would be ashamed of him for not loving him as himself. Flynn showed his dad the letter. The only response being to get out. He shamed his dad one last time before going to his room and packing what little he had. He left the following day while his dad was at work. He had no intention of contacting any of his family after that. Or anyone else in town for that matter. They’d let their actions speak for them. So he was letting his own actions continue speaking for him. 

The No Contact decree with his family had gone into effect the second he’d gotten kicked out for being who he was. He’d known he was leaving with three thousand dollars. Not enough for what needed to happen. It was enough for him though. He didn’t care that he was going to be homeless wherever he moved to. He wasn’t even sure where he was going to move to. He didn’t care. Anywhere other than the little town that never once loved him. He’d decided on South Florida. Miami Beach more specifically. Far away from the place he’d grown up in. 

“First time leaving home?”
“Yeah, leaving for good actually”
“Really? Must’ve been quite a fight”
“Yeah. Long story. Happy to be leaving though”
“Where to?”
“As close to Miami Beach, Florida as possible” 

A happier life no matter what was the only thing he wanted at this point. He knew he was going to a place that would love him for who he is. People that were part of the community he longed to be part of. A community he’d finally be able to be part of. He boarded the bus knowing this would be the last time he’d ever see the town he’d grown up in. He was fine with that. He was off to a far happier life. In a place where he knew he’d be okay. For once in his life. His dad had showed up to the bus station ten minutes prior to the departure time. Only for Flynn to tell him he’d no interest in going “home” with him. That he was going on with his life.