Happier

Julian had been far happier than he’d ever been in the year and a half since he moved to Ft. Lauderdale. He’d moved through the deep Depression he’d let himself wallow in. Depression that had taken its toll on him. He’d struggled with Depression most of his life. His mothers unexpected death when he was a teenager, losing more people than most he knew, along with being betrayed by so-called friends that didn’t help. It left him with severe trust issues. He’d left the town he’d been raised in for a better life. That area never had loved him anyway. 

“I’m so proud of you” Adam mentioned
“For what?” Julian asked
“For moving through everything in a way that works for you” Adam said
“Thanks. I used Insight Therapy. I took myself out of myself, out of the situation I was looking at, looked at it differently and was able to move past it” Julian replied
Life happens. For all of us. Your life has been different. You got out of what nearly ended your life” Adam answered 
“Yeah. I still don’t know how I managed to do that. I did it though. I’m far happier since then” Julian sighed

Adam hadn’t realized just how toxic Julians life had once been. He didn’t realize just how much it still affected Julian either. Julian showed people in a deep Depression can make it through even the darkest part of their Depression. Julian let his actions speak for him. Julians life had been far more toxic than most could handle. He’d been unable to financially leave. Until he sold most of his drawings. He’d saved barely enough to leave. A fight with his dad left him homeless. He moved to Ft. Lauderdale after he took a leap of faith with an opportunity 

Julian had been living openly as a Trans man. He’d come out to everyone as time went on. People who love him for who he is. People who helped him become more comfortable in himself. He’d been openly closeted in his hometown. He hadn’t been able to be openly himself. He kept in touch with the few that love him for who he is. It was a different feeling to be loved by everyone in his life. He passed as Male most of the time. The one week of the month he bled was the only time he didn’t pass. He didn’t leave the house much that week. It’d meant he’d have to go into the women's bathroom if he had to use the restroom. It wasn’t something he liked doing. He’d stay close to home if he left the house. Everyone understood and helped him move through it. He began doing things during that week a little more over time. 

“I’m proud of you for overcoming this part of your life” Sawyer smiled
“I am also. I’ve stuck to the lighter days when I go out. The heavier days are the ones “I barely have any energy” Julian replied
“I’m not surprised. I understand that though” Sawyer giggled

Julian had begun speaking out in the last six months. He hadn’t been comfortable doing so. Not yet anyway. He’d been undoing the years of brainwashed beliefs. He’d been far too busy trying to survive. The first six months after the move he was trying to find a place. He’d been able to sell more of his artwork after creating a website. A PO Box he opened was how he got his mail and sent things out. He’d begun speaking out about the current state of the US after he began speaking out. How he’d fear for his life at times. Everything fell into place after a while. 

He’d begun sharing a condensed version of his traumatic past after a while. The comments he’d get from his people he thought were friends along with his own relatives. Typical comments from hypocritical bigots that never once practiced what they preached. He shared how he moved through everything. He’d continued going against the grain that was the conservatively religious area he’d grown up in. Julian would often ask questions when people commented on his appearance. Questions he knew couldn’t be answered and would cause issues. 

“Wow, that’s….. a lot to process” Oakley said
“Yeah, it is. It’s been a lot to move through” Julian answered
“You’re far better off without them. You’ve obviously done well for yourself” Emery smiled
“It took some time for me to get where I am now. It was six months before I had my own place. I was in a Hostel the entire time. I have a stable job now. I’m far happier than before” Julian smiled back

He’d kept in touch with a select few people from his hometown. People that let their actions speak for them. Actions that showed just how much they love him for who he is. Actions that went against what everyone else in the area believed. He’d gone no contact with everyone else. His own relatives included. Relatives who’d never once loved him. Who saw him as the Black Sheep. He’d let his unfiltered feelings out and moved on with his life. People saw just how much happier he’d become. They wondered why. He let his actions speak for him. He left without so much as a goodbye to anyone aside from the few people he wanted to keep in touch with.