Leaving, finally

I’d finally left. Despite the fact I didn’t have much in savings. Or much job experience either. Unfortunately. The job experience I had being entry level jobs where the hours weren’t often great along the pay hovering around minimum wage most of the time. I’d nowhere near enough to comfortably leave. I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I’d known dad was lying to me again. I was catching him in that lie. I wanted nothing more than to just leave already. I was happy to have finally left a place that’d never loved me. That day had finally happened.

I’d gone no contact with dad after I left. He’d lied once too many times. I caught him within his latest lie. Things hadn’t made sense. The confrontational outburst being a public one. One of the many reasons I’d left. I’d shamed him. I’d told him mom and Millie would be ashamed of him. That mom would’ve given him an ultimatum for lying so much. I’d exposed everything. I knew people were going question me. I already knew what I was going to say. He could no longer deny any of his lies he’d told. I left the next day.

I’d never had much growing up. Dad was a Teacher after all. The pay hadn’t exactly been the best. Mom’s untimely and sudden death didn’t help. Her death from a rare genetic disorder left dad wondering if he’d be able to take care of me and Millie. He’d kept us at the encouragement of others. People who’d financially helped out. It was Millies death fifteen years later from the same disease that’d diagnosed mom. We’d not known what happened until Millie got sick. I’d showed signs of having it as well. Multiple issues that made sense that I’d have it.

Dads nasty habit of lying was known by several people. People he’d done wrong in some way by lying in some way. Or by his actions and behaviors. It was usually all three. I’d caught him in his latest lie. In such a way he couldn’t deny it. In any way. It didn’t phase me when he stammered in an effort to cover up the lie. To only lie far more. I’d confronted him. In public. I’d stormed off when he couldn’t give me an explanation. I grabbed my things the following day while he was at work and left.

I’d left him a note, as short as it was, letting him know I no longer wanted any kind of contact with him. That he was no longer welcome in my life. That I’d left for a better life. I’d gone by work and quit. I’d apologized for it being so abrupt. They understood knowing a little of what’d gone on from what little I’d mentioned. I’d stayed the night in a hotel. I didn’t want to be around him anymore. I knew people were going to ask what happened. I was prepared for those conversations and telling the truth.

i knew I’d be able to survive in Miami Beach for at least a month with the money I’d left with. I:’d applied to forty jobs, at least, in the hours after I arrived in Miami Beach while knowing I may not get anything right away. I didn’t care what kind of job it was or what the pay was as long as the hours were decent. Several job offers and interviews happened in the following three days. I’d gotten a job at a restaurant as a Dishwasher. I was happy to have a job so quickly after getting there.

The questions had come and gone by now. I’d told anyone who asked the truth leaving them in disbelief. Dad had lied to everyone. He couldn’t even keep his lies straight. People heard different things. They’d confronted him. They’d wanted to know why he’d told different people different things. He never had an answer. He’d lost his job in the meantime. Nobody wanted to be around him. They’d asked if I wanted to know anything that was going on with him. I’d let them know I wanted nothing to do with him. That I didn’t want to know anything either.

My own brother wanted to know what was going on. He lived in Tennessee. Far away from what was going on. I’d told him to ask anyone that was around him currently because of me knowing nothing at all since I’d left. That I’d gone No Contact in every sense of the definition. I’d told him everything that’d happened. I’d caught him in a lie. That he’d lied to everyone else after I left. That.I wasn’t surprised by what he’d told me.I reiterated I didn’t want to know anything that was going on with someone willing to lie to me.

The Mental Health Evaluation revealed his Dementia. That it was enough for him to be involuntarily in an Assisted Living Facility. Adam wasn’t willing to take him in. He took my side in this. He too had shamed dad for what he’d done. He, much like me, didn’t care about the Dementia. It didn’t excuse what he’d done. He’d been of sound mind when he lied. It’d been proven he was of sound mind when he lied. He wanted to make amends after countless hours of Therapy. I let my disinterest show. That No Contact means No Contact. At all.

My past was killing me. I was in an environment that’d been making me sick. That it was slowly killing me. I’d been left unable to heal in such as toxic environment. I’d been able to breathe in the days after leaving. I’d felt the freedom in leaving the way I did. I was entirely on my own for once in my life. My happiness showed. Daily. I’d gone to visit Adam in Tennessee. I’d considered moving there. The scenery being something that’d attracted me. Not to mention my brother living there. Along with a fresher start in my life.