Leaving Toxicity

Oakley left everything behind the day she left home. The toxicity she often experienced came from people who let their actions speak louder than anything they’d ever say. From people who never really loved her to begin with. Along with ignorance and bigotry. Her life after her dads somewhat unexpected death was briefly chaotic. His death came with two months left on the lease of the house they were renting. She knew she would have everything packed up in a week. Or less. She’d already gotten rid of everything that wasn’t needed or often used. It meant the more important things were left. The only thing left was to figure out how to get the boxes to wherever she’d end up. Her Epilepsy, along with other issues, prevented her from ever being able to drive. She knew she’d figure it out though. Her mom died twenty years prior from a Brain Aneurysm. So it was just her now. 

“You don’t really have a plan, do you?” Aunt Jackie asked
”You’ve asked that before and I’ve answered it. YES I do have a plan” Oakley replied 
“And what-” Aunt Jackie began
”It’s NOT up for debate or arguing over. I DON’T have to tell you anything. For as long as I can remember you’ve always preferred to argue rather than listen. I’m DONE with that behavior. I refuse to entertain it. And frankly, I’m done having you and the rest of this part of my mothers relatives. Y’all have let your actions speak for you. So I’m letting mine do the same. My mother would be ashamed of you” Oakley clapped back, feeling a sense of freedom after telling her everything she needed to hear

Aunt Jackie had always been argumentative. She’d rather argue than genuinely listen to what I had to say. Her ignorance, and privilege, spoke for her. Both spoke for the rest of the relatives. She’d gone no contact with the relatives in the same town as her. They’d been nothing but toxic. They never once genuinely loved her. They let that show. It took her two days before she’d sold the car, packed everything, and rented a storage unit for the time being. Even though her best friend offered to keep the boxes with him and his family. Until unexpected things happened that left all of them worrying about the safety of her boxes. She’d been friends with Gio since High School. He made sure he had some a few days off around the time she was going leaving. Something both knew would be bittersweet. 

She’d let the Realtors know when she’d be vacating the house and what she was leaving behind. She’d kept everything clean during that time. She also got rid of anything she knew she wouldn’t be able to take with her. She’d donated everything she wanted to get rid of. She felt a sense of freedom she’d never felt before. A sense of freedom that helped her see things differently. Of just how far she’d come in life despite everything that happened to her. 

“Why would you-” Maggie began
”I told her what she needed to hear. Much like I’ve told you what you’ve needed to hear. None of you bothered to help him or myself. None of you bothered to even see if we’re doing okay. F is for Failure and you guys FAILED me and dad. Now, please leave” Oakley replied
”This is-” Maggie started to say
”NO! You don’t get to talk to me anymore. None of you do. My mother would be ashamed of you. LEAVE, please” Oakley retorted pointing to the door  

Maggie had been one of the few relatives that began “helping” Oakley after she got sick. Maggie, along with the rest of the relatives, backed off after Oakley took her health into her hands. It upset them that she did that. To them, the way it seemed, they’d rather back off than help. They didn’t bother to communicate anything to her either. Not that it mattered anyway. Their actions spoke louder than anything they’d ever say. Now especially. Oakley decided to leave the following day instead of the following week. There was nothing keeping her there at that point. All of the boxes were safely in the storage unit. The house was spotless. She did her last load of laundry and packed before leaving for Miami Beach to start her new life.

“What now? Gio inquired
“No idea right now, I know I’m going to become a Nomad for a little while. It starts with Miami Beach obviously” Oakley replied
”Obviously! I knew that much” Gio laughed
”I’ve no idea where I’m going after leaving here. I just know I’ll be traveling everywhere” she smiled

She’d just been approved for Disability. A decision that came after three months of not hearing anything. She’d been denied, appealed and waited for three months. She’d gotten the paperwork to get the checks deposited into her bank account. She’d let them know what was going on. Something that didn’t fully matter now that she was going to be getting Disability. They made note of it anyway. She’d kept all of her medical documents in one folder in an easily accessible spot. Her happiness showed as her and Gio left for the train station early the next morning. Both were excited but happy it was happening. It also meant it’d be a while before they’d see each other. 

“I may follow you at some point” Gio grinned
“Yeah, I know. Whenever you do I’ll be ready” Oakley laughed
”I hate that I have to stay here longer” Gio sighed
”I know, you’ll get out also” she replied

Gio watched as his best friend boarded the train to South Florida. Where she’d be far happier than she’d ever been in her life. The first stop in a nomadic journey she was embarking on. A journey to self acceptance. A journey to being herself in a world that had been unkind to her.