Reflection

Reagan didn’t care he was homeless in Ft. Lauderdale. He’d left the toxic situation he’d been living in behind. The little money he had was nowhere near enough for the next six months. He wasn’t so sure the money he had would last two months. He was hoping to have gotten a job fairly quickly given his experience. He was hopeful. He’d confronted his dad about ignorant comments he’d made. Along with twenty years of lying and downplaying things that shouldn’t have been lied about or downplayed. It didn’t help that he’d been fed up with Oliver’s recent behavior. He knew Oliver’s behavior was likely due to Dementia in some capacity. The diagnosis came less than a month after he’d left for Ft. Lauderdale. A hospital stay after he’d fallen while substituting at one of the regular schools he’d substitute at where Nurses saw what Reagan had been living with. He’d been moved into an Assisted Living Facility after being released. 

Reagan came back to deal with moving things out of the house they’d been renting before leaving again. He’d donated or thrown out nearly everything. A few pieces of furniture and boxes were all that was left after that. Things that were going to stay in a storage unit until he was in a more stable situation living wise. Everyone told him about Oliver’s behavior since he’d left. They’d become worried when comments he made showed a possible mental deficit.  Oliver had kept telling people he was fine. Until the hospitalization anyway. He’d admitted not being able to feel his feet. Diabetic Neuropathy being the cause. Something most had no idea was happening. 

Oliver had begged him to come see him. Reagan refused. He wanted nothing to do with his dad. His best friend, Jackson, said it would be closer for Oliver. Reagan went knowing it’d be the last time he’d ever see Oliver alive. Something he was perfectly fine with. Oliver had given him a decent amount of money. In cash. Remorse money being what Reagan called it. Enough people had shamed Oliver according to Jackson. People had distanced themselves from him. Reagan had been Oliver’s second visitor aside from Jackson. Even Jackson had distanced himself though. The few times he went to help Oliver settle into the room he’d been placed in. To tell Oliver things he needed to hear. Oliver didn’t want him around after the last conversation they had. Jackson had told him everything that’d been going on in his life. Oliver told him not to come back. He didn’t want to be reminded of the mistakes he’d made. 

Reagan’s brief visit had been a weird kind of closure for Oliver. He’d come to terms with the mistakes he’d made by then. He’d told Oliver the money he’d given him was going to help him have a head start wherever he moved to. The money he’d given Reagan wasn’t even enough to get a place and get bare essentials for the next three months. Reagan didn’t bother shaming him for it. He didn’t care anymore. He’d found a Hostel in Ft. Lauderdale he planned to book a private room for the next three months. That took a third of what Oliver had given him. He reflected on what his mother would’ve done. How ashamed she’d be that Oliver had done what he had. Her death from a Brain Aneurysm broke Reagan. She’d parented him from the other side though. He reflected on his brief trip while on the train back to Ft. Lauderdale. 

He’d become a Dishwasher and part time Freelance Blurb Writer over the next six months. It gave him stability he’d never had before. He’d come out as Gay in that time. He’d surrounded himself with Allys as well as other LGBTQ+ people. He’d gotten a Studio Apartment in Ft Lauderdale using the last of the money Oliver gave him along with some of the money he’d made. He’d wandered around most of the time. It’s how he’d been able to write Blurbs so well. He’d even made a pamphlet for Tourists. He’d written detailed blurbs about places off the beaten path. Places he’d seen that Tourists would enjoy. Places that saw an influx of business over time. His pamphlets eventually sold for a dollar at each place he’d handed them out to. He’d made a few hundred more that sold out in two months. He’d made decent money from the first batch that’d paid for the second batch. He’d seen potential during a conversation with one of the shop owners. 

He’d given up his job as a Dishwasher to make pamphlets for each business he’d sold his Tourist pamphlets to. He was getting far more for the pamphlets than he’d ever made as a Dishwasher. Steady income that helped him far better. It gave him more free time as well. He was far happier than he’d ever been. He had the ability to watch the sunset on Ft. Lauderdale Beach every night as he reflected on the last year of his life. How much things had changed. How much better his life had gotten by a leap of faith he wasn’t so sure would work out.