Self Love

Jude grew up in the standard small town of the 1990s and 2000s. A rural town filled with Southern Baptists who not once practiced what they preached. An area with the close minded traditional views on life. Women were supposed to be feminine and take on more Feminine roles even within the workforce. Men who were supposed to be Masculine and spoke their mind and not be challenged. A place where one was shamed for deviating from the pre approved path of being the average Southern Baptist. A place that had more low key Racism and homophobic in some way. 

Jude had grown up far more conflicted than he thought he would. He’d always seen himself as a rambunctious boy. Until Female Puberty happened. A long conversation with his mother changed everything. She’d explained it to the adults in his life. She told everyone just how happy he was being himself. That she planned on making the necessary changes so he could live a happier life. A plan that included him showing up to Church on Sundays in male clothing instead of dresses. To everyone else’s disappointment and behest. She didn’t care. She’d even threatened Charlie with divorce if he continued ignoring everything she’d told him. The inability to move, along with Transphobia he’d so often experienced after coming out took its toll on Charlie as well as Maggie. 

Life continued for everyone else but Jude after Maggie died. Her unexpected death broke him. She’d been the person that told everyone what they needed to hear. He walked in the footsteps she’d left behind. He told people what they needed to hear. It was Maggie that made sure he’d be okay if something ever happened to her. To love himself even though others may not. The friends that walked into his life were LGBTQ in some way. All of whom were closeted in some way. Open to a few while overall silent. Out of fear. They saw Jude as a hero of sorts. His willingness to be open in an area that said he had to be a Gender he not once identified as. He didn’t care. He was going to live his life as himself. It was Charlie that showed just how uncomfortable he was the entire time. 

The brainwashed beliefs that had been beaten into Jude were beliefs he was undoing. Traditional Southern Baptist beliefs that told him he had to conform to societal standards he didn’t agree with. Beliefs he spoke out against. Often. It didn’t seem to matter. People still didn’t understand his perspective. That he’d always known who he was. He knew that he’d one day leave the area that never once loved him. Charlie, as uncomfortable as he was, would often side with Jude. He’d cite what Maggie had always told him. It didn’t change the fact he still didn’t agree with Jude’s “choice” to live his life the way he’d been. Jude no longer cared. He was going to live his life happily. 

Ten years had passed. He’d graduated High School. He’d moved away from the area entirely. He didn’t want to be anywhere near the town he’d been raised in. He’d kept to himself throughout High School. People often left him be. Aside from the few more friends he’d made. People that spoke out against the blatant disrespect. People who crossed challenge lines to prove a point. His current job as a Marketer in Miami Beach came after a trip to Miami Beach during the summer after he’d graduated. A passing comment he'd made during a conversation with a shop owner about bringing in more people that made way for a job offer. He’d become a Marketer for several Restaurants and Shops over time. 

He’d taken the job offer without a second thought. He’d told Charlie about it after getting back home. Charlie thought it was a bad idea. Jude didn’t care. He saw it as an opportunity. Something he wasn’t going to pass up. He’d moved into a studio apartment with money he saved from odd jobs he’d done during High School. The Realtor was willing to work with him until he got his first paycheck. He aimlessly roamed around that first week. He’d cut contact with nearly everyone. He’d continued letting his actions speak for him. He’d gone on with his life regardless of what everyone said or thought. Those that stayed in his life were in his life for a reason. He’d become far happier in the time since he’d left home. He’d wandered around Miami Beach, daily, in search of inspiration. He’d often find it in the little things. He saw things others didn’t at times. He’d become more outspoken than he ever did before in his free time. The speeches he’d give at various events helped others in some way. He’d become a beacon by simply sharing his story.