Tiki the Millennial

TIKI THE MILLENIAL
 
           Tiki, the Whittier Elementary school sock monkey, walked the three blocks home from school. She was a millennial, so she was staring at the latest version of Lie Phone. She was a member of all the important social networks; Facewhat, myplace, and pullmyfinger dot org.  Her phone did whistles and bells and an alert came on-screen. “Mastodons escaped from Jurassic Zoo and are roaming the streets,” she read aloud. “All citizens are warned to stay blah blah blah. Hey, Goggle, what’s a mastodon?”
                                                                                   ***
           A mastodon, looking sort of like a wooly mammoth but shorter and with a less prominent skull, walked up to Tiki, wondering what this eighteen-inch tall marsupial was. It sniffed with its long trunk at the stuffed sock staring intently at the Lie Phone. Tiki waved a hand at the noisy hose inspecting her.
           “Goggle, I don’t care what a mastodon is anymore. Take me to pullmyfinger dot org.”
           As Goggle complied to Tiki’s demand, the mastodon picked up the little sock monkey and set her behind its head. With its new friend in tow it found itself curious about a blue Camaro. It went over and stepped on the hood. Well, that wasn’t much fun. Maybe the brown cargo van would be more entertaining.
           Tiki was busy writing, ‘Mastodon? Probably something the government made up to get us to go straight home from school. LOL.’ Smiley, thumbs up, and scary face. Tiki looked at the cargo van tipping over, then looked at the Lie Phone to see if she missed anything important. One of her sock monkey friends LOLed her post with a heart, clappy hands, and a pile of doggy doo.
           The mastodon put its foot against a fire hydrant, kicked it loose, and took a drink. It sprayed itself with water.
           Tiki asked, “Goggle, is it supposed to rain today?” Goggle informed her that no, today would be mostly sunny. It didn’t matter anymore because the rain had stopped. “Goggle, what is trending on Facewhat?”
           On the website Tiki beheld the most marvelous thing. There was a video of a sock monkey riding on the back of a mastodon! The monster was walking up someone’s front walk, straight toward the camera. Then whoever was filming freaked out and ran to the kitchen.
           “You wimp!” Tiki said with a giggle. She typed in ‘wimp LOL.’
           The mastodon set its tiny burden on the porch and thought, Well, that was boring. It walked toward an eighteen-wheeler.
           Tiki walked in her house, typing more insults to the unknow Filmer.
           “How was your day?” Mamma keeper, the keeper of sock monkeys, said, adding insults of her own at the unknown Filmer’s site.
           “Mostly boring. Is it supposed to rain today?”
           “I don’t know. Goggle, what’s the weather today?”
           Papa keeper, the man who married into sock monkeys, came out of the kitchen, holding a six-pack in shaking hands. He sat at the couch, letting out a mighty sigh.
           Tiki, re-watching the video, said, “I wish I could ride a mastodon.”
           Papa keeper inhaled his first beer.
THE END

TIKI THE MILLENIAL
 
           Tiki, the Whittier Elementary school sock monkey, walked the three blocks home from school. She was a millennial, so she was staring at the latest version of Lie Phone. She was a member of all the important social networks; Facewhat, myplace, and pullmyfinger dot org.  Her phone did whistles and bells and an alert came on-screen. “Mastodons escaped from Jurassic Zoo and are roaming the streets,” she read aloud. “All citizens are warned to stay blah blah blah. Hey, Goggle, what’s a mastodon?”
                                                                                   ***
           A mastodon, looking sort of like a wooly mammoth but shorter and with a less prominent skull, walked up to Tiki, wondering what this eighteen-inch tall marsupial was. It sniffed with its long trunk at the stuffed sock staring intently at the Lie Phone. Tiki waved a hand at the noisy hose inspecting her.
           “Goggle, I don’t care what a mastodon is anymore. Take me to pullmyfinger dot org.”
           As Goggle complied to Tiki’s demand, the mastodon picked up the little sock monkey and set her behind its head. With its new friend in tow it found itself curious about a blue Camaro. It went over and stepped on the hood. Well, that wasn’t much fun. Maybe the brown cargo van would be more entertaining.
           Tiki was busy writing, ‘Mastodon? Probably something the government made up to get us to go straight home from school. LOL.’ Smiley, thumbs up, and scary face. Tiki looked at the cargo van tipping over, then looked at the Lie Phone to see if she missed anything important. One of her sock monkey friends LOLed her post with a heart, clappy hands, and a pile of doggy doo.
           The mastodon put its foot against a fire hydrant, kicked it loose, and took a drink. It sprayed itself with water.
           Tiki asked, “Goggle, is it supposed to rain today?” Goggle informed her that no, today would be mostly sunny. It didn’t matter anymore because the rain had stopped. “Goggle, what is trending on Facewhat?”
           On the website Tiki beheld the most marvelous thing. There was a video of a sock monkey riding on the back of a mastodon! The monster was walking up someone’s front walk, straight toward the camera. Then whoever was filming freaked out and ran to the kitchen.
           “You wimp!” Tiki said with a giggle. She typed in ‘wimp LOL.’
           The mastodon set its tiny burden on the porch and thought, Well, that was boring. It walked toward an eighteen-wheeler.
           Tiki walked in her house, typing more insults to the unknow Filmer.
           “How was your day?” Mamma keeper, the keeper of sock monkeys, said, adding insults of her own at the unknown Filmer’s site.
           “Mostly boring. Is it supposed to rain today?”
           “I don’t know. Goggle, what’s the weather today?”
           Papa keeper, the man who married into sock monkeys, came out of the kitchen, holding a six-pack in shaking hands. He sat at the couch, letting out a mighty sigh.
           Tiki, re-watching the video, said, “I wish I could ride a mastodon.”
           Papa keeper inhaled his first beer.
THE END