Traumatized

Constantine always knew who she was. She’d grown up fantasizing about being with a girl. She wanted nothing more than to be with a girl when she thought about getting married. The problem being she lived in a conservative, highly religious area that condemned LGBT people. Or anyone that went against the grain. She did both at the same time. She’d known she wouldn’t be able to come out. Not while she was living in her hometown anyway. It didn’t stop her from letting her actions speak for her. It didn’t stop others from telling her to pray it away. 

“In the Bible it says-” Margaret began
“To love everyone. My experience in this town has been people who don’t practice what they preach” Constantine interrupted 
“Honey, you’re cherry picking. The Bible-” Margaret tried saying
“And you’re not! I’m sick and tired of you trying to argue with me. You seem to love and accept James and Adam for who they are. I’m no different. If you’re going to essentially condemn me for liking girls then you’re condemning them as well. You CANNOT pick and choose. That’s the definition of cherry picking” Constantine said before getting up and storming out

Her Aunt had always been the one to argue. About anything. Constantine kept her distance from Margaret. She knew Margaret relished, it seemed like, in arguing. It was the ignorance and bigotry that had always been obvious. Constantine felt a sense of freedom after the argument with her. The texts came in not even an hour after the argument. Texts she responded to saying essentially the same thing. She knew she’d been the black sheep. The last thing she said to any of them was that she wasn’t going to anymore holiday gatherings. It left her traumatized more than she let on. 

She reflected on the life of death she experienced growing up. Family members she actually cared about. People who died far too soon. Her mother and sisters' deaths were the hardest on her. Both her grandmother's deaths were hard. Not as hard as losing her mother and sister. Both died in their sleep of a genetic disorder. One that’s hard to diagnose. She led a traumatized life. For the majority of her life. Unable to grieve one before another passed. The severe trust issues Constantine had came from being betrayed so much. She had few friends as a result. 

“Deep in thought again?” Hayden asked
“Yeah, too deep. As usual” Constantine replied
“What now?” Hayden inquired 
“My life of death” she responded 
“I know how heavily that weighs on you” Hayden said
“Yeah, it does. After everything that’s happened though, I’m okay now. I’ve managed to save the bare minimum to leave. I’m done being here. I’m done with him. He’s insufferable. The comments, his behavior, everything. I’ve confronted him more. Only to be met with silence and no accountability. I’ve already packed most of my things just in case” being the only thing Constantine could get out

Hayden knew just how right Constantine was. He knew Constantine wanted nothing more than to leave. A week's vacation in South Florida was the only thing she could do for the time being. It was, in many ways, a requiem. A service for the dead. The lock on the Mausoleum filled with the bones of her family.  Peace washed over her as she watched the waves crash onto the beach. She’d made the decision to leave by the time she left. The majority of her things were already packed. The few things that weren’t were daily use items. 

Constantine had always been one to think of new ways to generate business at her job in a local Cafe. Despite the fact she was one of the few Dishwashers they had. It was her marketing that led to an increase in business. They were sad to see her go while also knowing she was off to better things. They knew she’d do well in her new position in the Marketing Department at a Restaurant in Miami Beach. It was an opportunity she wasn’t going to pass up. It was an opportunity to leave behind the town, and people, that never once loved her. Her dad included.  

“You can’t possibly think this is going to work out” Charlie argued
“Yes I do think it’ll work out. It already has in fact. I’ve already completed six things for them. All of which have done well” Constantine retorted
“I still don’t-” Charlie began
“I DON’T CARE! I’ve taken the job and I’m moving. This is my chance to make a life for myself and be in a place that loves me. You never did and it’s been obvious whether you want to admit it or not. You’ve always been uncomfortable with me being Lesbian. It’s always been obvious to me that you’re uncomfortable with me being who I am. With Hayden being who he is. Much less my friends. You haven’t even been taking care of yourself. You haven’t even been listening to me or the Doctors. I’m leaving tomorrow” she screamed at him

Constantine felt a sense of freedom while packing the rest of her things up. She’d let Hayden know what happened. He was there by the time she was finished packing. It was a happy moment seeing him. Hayden had been her best friend since High School. He’d been openly Gay for the last few years. He knew full well just how traumatized she’d been. He saw a difference in the last few hours with her. That she was finally looking forward to having a far better life. She was far happier in the small time since she’d left home. She was looking forward to having a far better life than the one she’d lived. She hadn’t felt so free before. Her use of Insight Therapy helped her move on from her recent experiences. She’d let the Restaurant know she’d be in Miami Beach a little earlier than normal than expected.