Wanderlust

The urge to travel lived within her most of her life. Aunji was often found daydreaming left her wanting to travel. She’d wanted nothing more than to just leave the town that never loved her behind for a life of adventure. She’d wanted nothing more than to wander around the country, the world even, experiencing life in different places. She wanted nothing more than to never again see the town she’d grown up in. She dreamed of the day she was finally free from the Hypocrites and Bigots roaming around the town. People who claimed to be Christians while not acting like it.

She knew her dreams were unlikely to come true. That her dreams would remain within her head. She’d often turn her dreams into stories. Adventures her family and friends loved reading. Her English teachers loved her work. They often encouraged her to write more. They’d seen what her mother had. A gift of writing. A knack for weaving stories taking the reader on an adventure. Her mothers death left her unable to have the same kind of life her peers had. It’d left her wondering if she’d ever get the chance to travel around experiencing life abroad.

She’d been financially unable to do what most of her peers were doing. She’d not been given the same opportunities as her peers. They were out getting jobs and having a life. She was stuck unable to find a job much less have a life. Her Epilepsy meant she couldn’t drive. It also meant people saw her differently. Her lack of job experience left her unable to find a job. While many of her peers had no issue finding one. She’d often felt left out as a result. She’d sit in her room writing poetry. Or weaving stories of adventure.

She’d planned on turning her writing into a career. She wanted to go to college for Journalism. She’d wanted to do more than she was financially able to. Her grandmother had planned ahead. A scholarship fund of sorts that alleviated the cost a little bit. There was money that still needed to be paid most of the time. Grants and other things were other avenues that helped. In time, she simply couldn’t keep up with the costs. Her continual struggle with not finding a job became a burden. It meant she could no longer go to college as she hoped.

Fifteen years passed before anything of significance happened. Her struggles to find a job had continued. As unfortunate as it was. She’d found her groove though. Her dad had remarried, moved to South Florida, where she moved to as well, where she’d continued struggling to find a job. Despite plenty of places claiming to be hiring. She’d often wander around Miami Beach. She’d sit in front of the same bar watching the Drag Shows while writing away. Several people saw her sitting there and bought some of her work. She’d managed to write some Blurbs for the bar as well.

Her dad sent her money as often as he could. She’d travel around Broward County most days finding places. She’d sit in her spot across from the bar and write about her adventures. She’d often roam the Miami Beach area. Despite the fact she “lived” with a relative in Hollywood. She wasn’t often there. She’d come and go while that relative was at work. A shower and some sleep in a bed mainly. She’d given away most of her things she’d brought with her. She’d begun helping her grandmother as well. She still dreamt about leaving Florida entirely to travel.

The move back home after the divorce meant she was back in the town that never loved her. It meant her days of being able to travel were over. She’d left behind friends she’d made that helped her along at times. People she’d grown close to. People that were entirely homeless or partially homeless like her. She’d eventually lost touch with most of them for one reason or another. She’d figured out why in time. Lies told to them by a “friend” that smeared her name after she’d left. She’d not cared knowing karma would eventually happen to that person.

She went through a string of jobs before finding one that stuck. A job she hoped would help her in her Wanderlust quest. It turned into a job she dreaded going to. A job that didn’t provide her with enough money to even live on her own. She’d be homeless if she wasn’t living with her dad. She didn’t make enough to cover any kind of rent much less other basic necessities most of the time. She’d manage to barely cover the absolute basic necessities with no money left for rent or other utilities if she were on her own.

Four years and one fight with her dad later she was homeless. Her outward appearance were often met with hateful bigotry. By people who claimed Christianity whilst letting their actions speak for them. Her androgynous appearance often left people wondering if she was Male or Female. She’d never felt either one. Her very Queer nature meant she’d be a target. She no longer cared what others thought. It drove a wedge between her and her dad. The fight being caused by him being pressured. An ultimatum he’d been given. With her response being one of shaming him for his actions.

He’d left her several thousand dollars and went off to work. She’d made a social media post sharing what happened. She’d publicly shamed him for his actions whilst also sharing things he’d lied to others about. She’d let his lies unravel from there. To the point friends who didn’t live in their small town wanted nothing more to do with him. His lies had finally caught up to him. He’d a habit of lying to her. She wasn’t the only one. She’d let karma do her work after that. She’d left the town that never loved her with no plan.

She’d stayed in a hotel for the night and gone to her work letting them know she was quitting and why. She’d cut off all contact with her dad after that. Despite the fact he’d tried calling her. She’d ignored his texts. He’d left a voicemail asking her to come back home to talk. He’d been shamed by many of the out of town friends for being pressured by religious bigots. People who lived a conservatively Christian life who never once loved her for who she was. People who’d rather cherry pick the Bible instead of loving people as themselves

She’d left for South Florida after one of her friends took her to a connecting stop to take a train down to South Florida. They’d spent the day with her until the thruway bus came to pick her and other passengers up. Friends had pooled money together and given it to him to give to her. He’d let her know they stood with her. He’d let her know they’d said to her dad. She’d made the decision to send one final text to him before cutting off all contact for good. She’d made a point to say that to him.

Her leap of faith after getting there that night was one she hoped would help. She’d decided to only stay for a little while. She’d decided on going to New York City on her first stop in traveling around. She’d become a Nomad of sorts. A plan of working from place to place. With no cares. She’d never felt so free before. She’d gotten out of Florida knowing there was no way her dad could find her. There was no way for him to even know where she was. Her leap of faith was finally giving in to her wanderlust.

Her travels took her to across the country. To all the places she’d wanted to see. It was her Wanderlust, a leap of faith, and some serendipity that led her around the country. She’d seen the places she wanted to see. She’d save enough to travel around for a while. She’d save enough to not have to work for a while. She wrote about her travels and dreams along the way. Most of her work was published somewhere at some point. Her dream of being a Freelance Writer was finally happening. She was able to support herself with her writing.

She was finally happy. She’d known it was her mother helping her. She’d come to her in her dreams letting her know how proud she was of her. That she loved her for who she was even though the blood relatives, her dad included, would never love her for who she was. She’d shamed all of them prior to her departure. She’d told them how ashamed her mother would be of them for not loving her for who she is. She’d gone on with her life after that. Happily. Finally. She’d settled in Malibu. Where she write her days away.